We're falling apart... - Military Career Progression

Marinegurl808 · 01-15-2007, 11:27 AM

My guy is in schooling currently. And he hasn't been having a good time there. He made a couple friends, and started to somewhat settle down. Though he says that he gets very bored to the max, has problems with so many things, and seems like he doesn't really care bout me. I send him this long butt text message (7 messages long) saying that for the first time I want to marry you and grow old with you. And I say some other stuf to try and lift him up. All he says back in a text is, "That was a nice message" 'N' THAT'S IT!!!!!! WTH!!!!

i just tried calling him and it seems like my help is helping at all. I try to cheer him up and I get nothing...he's going to b in schooling till middle of july and he just go there. Plus he told me that once his schooling is over he's most likely going to b shipped to iraq with the new thing the president said...

...Idk what to do...I want to help out but I have no clue what to say or do!!! Someone please help me!

Joelle · 01-15-2007, 11:34 AM

I would just not push too hard...let him do some work, you don't want it to be a one sided relationship you know? As hard as it is let him come to you...he's going through some real life changing stuff just give him some time to figure it all out...

AshleyJ · 01-15-2007, 11:35 AM

It might not be you at all. He may just be stressed and tired and that's all. I feel ya being a woman I think on a whole other level and I get my feelings hurt really easily. Basically, I read too much into things... Hopefully this is the case. You said he was having a rough time, and he may have a few friends, but guys can be harsh, ya know? Just hang in there and if you ever need to vent I, along w/ many of the other ladies here, are here for you every step of the way. It'll be ok!!! You can also reach me on myspace www.myspace.com/lilmrsarmy if you want to shoot me a message and/or add... My prayers are with you!

CoffeeGirl · 01-15-2007, 11:36 AM

Marinegurl808 · 01-15-2007, 11:46 AM

So i should let him just try and chill for a while and wait for him to call me? I'm just really flustered right now and worried about him....

AshleyJ · 01-15-2007, 11:51 AM

That might be for the best... As hard as it may be... Just offer him your support and your shoulder to lean on and he'll come around. My hubby was super stressed after coming back from Iraq and he needs his quiet time. I'm more like me! me! me! time, but I have to respect that he's been through some rough shizz and let it be, ya know? I'm sure he doesn't love you any less and he may not even realize he's pushing you away, ya know? Just have an open convo w/ him and let him know how you feel and hopefully he'll give you some feedback that you need to here...

USMC ISSUED · 01-15-2007, 11:54 AM

I have the same feelings but mine are towards my hubby ... but I also can't talk to him ... I only get letters right now

Marinegurl808 · 01-15-2007, 11:58 AM

Originally Posted by westonswife

That might be for the best... As hard as it may be... Just offer him your support and your shoulder to lean on and he'll come around. My hubby was super stressed after coming back from Iraq and he needs his quiet time. I'm more like me! me! me! time, but I have to respect that he's been through some rough shizz and let it be, ya know? I'm sure he doesn't love you any less and he may not even realize he's pushing you away, ya know? Just have an open convo w/ him and let him know how you feel and hopefully he'll give you some feedback that you need to here...

Hmm...ok that makes sense. I'm also like that with the whole, "what about me!!!!???" thing. I guess I need to probably owe him an appology? Or maybe just let it be and the next time he calls tell him that I'm here for him. O yeah and btw thank you everyone for helping me with this problem.

Hope. · 01-15-2007, 11:58 AM

Originally Posted by JEMGK

I would just not push too hard...let him do some work, you don't want it to be a one sided relationship you know? As hard as it is let him come to you...he's going through some real life changing stuff just give him some time to figure it all out...

I agree with this 100 percent. I know it's odd but sometimes the harder you push, the more you push him away. and you DEF. don't want that... just give him the time and space he needs and all you can do is let him know that you are standing by him.

Miranda · 01-15-2007, 11:59 AM

just give him space- even if u have to force urself to go out and catch a movie or leave ur phone at home while u go work out at the gym...we went thru a similar thing when DH was at school...pm me anytime if you wanna talk

01-15-2007, 11:27 AM	#1 (permalink)
Marinegurl808 Hawaii girl Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: Iraq Posts: 374 Classifieds: (0) Activity: 0% Longevity: 49%	We're falling apart... My guy is in schooling currently. And he hasn't been having a good time there. He made a couple friends, and started to somewhat settle down. Though he says that he gets very bored to the max, has problems with so many things, and seems like he doesn't really care bout me. I send him this long butt text message (7 messages long) saying that for the first time I want to marry you and grow old with you. And I say some other stuf to try and lift him up. All he says back in a text is, "That was a nice message" 'N' THAT'S IT!!!!!! WTH!!!! i just tried calling him and it seems like my help is helping at all. I try to cheer him up and I get nothing...he's going to b in schooling till middle of july and he just go there. Plus he told me that once his schooling is over he's most likely going to b shipped to iraq with the new thing the president said......Idk what to do...I want to help out but I have no clue what to say or do!!! Someone please help me! __________________ He's finally a Marine! my DB is currently: Deployed to Iraq

01-15-2007, 11:34 AM	#2 (permalink)
Joelle Love My Captain! Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Ft. Jackson, South Carolina Posts: 1,516 Classifieds: (0) Activity: 21% Longevity: 51%	I would just not push too hard...let him do some work, you don't want it to be a one sided relationship you know? As hard as it is let him come to you...he's going through some real life changing stuff just give him some time to figure it all out... __________________ Wifey to Southern-Momma!

01-15-2007, 11:35 AM	#3 (permalink)
AshleyJ Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: Ft Carson/Colorado Springs, CO Posts: 4,385 Blog Entries: 1 Classifieds: (0) Activity: 0% Longevity: 51%	It might not be you at all. He may just be stressed and tired and that's all. I feel ya being a woman I think on a whole other level and I get my feelings hurt really easily. Basically, I read too much into things... Hopefully this is the case. You said he was having a rough time, and he may have a few friends, but guys can be harsh, ya know? Just hang in there and if you ever need to vent I, along w/ many of the other ladies here, are here for you every step of the way. It'll be ok!!! You can also reach me on myspace www.myspace.com/lilmrsarmy if you want to shoot me a message and/or add... My prayers are with you! __________________

01-15-2007, 11:36 AM	#4 (permalink)
CoffeeGirl Java Queen Extraordinaire Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Arizona Posts: 56,461 Classifieds: (0) Activity: 20% Longevity: 82%	__________________ When my time comes, forget the wrong that I've done, help me leave behind some reasons to be missed. Don't resent me when your feeling empty,Keep me in your memory, leave out all the rest leave out all the rest

01-15-2007, 11:46 AM	#5 (permalink)
Marinegurl808 Hawaii girl Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: Iraq Posts: 374 Classifieds: (0) Activity: 0% Longevity: 49%	So i should let him just try and chill for a while and wait for him to call me? I'm just really flustered right now and worried about him.... __________________ He's finally a Marine! my DB is currently: Deployed to Iraq

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01-15-2007, 11:51 AM	#6 (permalink)
AshleyJ Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: Ft Carson/Colorado Springs, CO Posts: 4,385 Blog Entries: 1 Classifieds: (0) Activity: 0% Longevity: 51%	That might be for the best... As hard as it may be... Just offer him your support and your shoulder to lean on and he'll come around. My hubby was super stressed after coming back from Iraq and he needs his quiet time. I'm more like me! me! me! time, but I have to respect that he's been through some rough shizz and let it be, ya know? I'm sure he doesn't love you any less and he may not even realize he's pushing you away, ya know? Just have an open convo w/ him and let him know how you feel and hopefully he'll give you some feedback that you need to here... __________________

01-15-2007, 11:54 AM	#7 (permalink)
USMC ISSUED Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: Camp Pendleton, Ca Posts: 7,935 Classifieds: (1) Activity: 8% Longevity: 51%	I have the same feelings but mine are towards my hubby ... but I also can't talk to him ... I only get letters right now __________________ http://www.yourfriskybusiness.com/

01-15-2007, 11:59 AM	#10 (permalink)
Miranda Senior Member Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Greenwood, IN Posts: 1,870 Classifieds: (0) Activity: 0% Longevity: 61%	just give him space- even if u have to force urself to go out and catch a movie or leave ur phone at home while u go work out at the gym...we went thru a similar thing when DH was at school...pm me anytime if you wanna talk __________________ Miranda DD- Arianna (10/10/03) DH- Arthur....FMF Corpsman http://www.myspace.com/miranda519 <~ Wedding Pics are up!!!