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Thread: Being an Officer's Wife

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    #1

    Being an Officer's Wife

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    Is it true that the wife is an essential part in the husband (Officer's) success? I've heard it from a few places. Does that mean single guys have hard time getting promotions? Or that a divorce can ruin a career?

    My fiance will be an officer soon, and these warnings are starting to freak me out. I'm not very good at keeping in touch or making connections, or "securing" anything ... not even dinner! I mean what I am I meant to expect or do, or am I just working myself up?

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    ]Is it true that the wife is an essential part in the husband (Officer's) success? I've heard it from a few places. As an "O" wife I believe I am ONLY essential because of my support and love, as ANY wife is.

    Does that mean single guys have hard time getting promotions? Or that a divorce can ruin a career? No. In fact most of the CO's of the ships that my DH has been on were single. Your relationship status has NOTHING to do with your promotions as an officer. The same goes for divorce.

    My fiance will be an officer soon, and these warnings are starting to freak me out. I'm not very good at keeping in touch or making connections, or "securing" anything ... not even dinner! I mean what I am I meant to expect or do, or am I just working myself up? take a deep breath. Officers put their pants on just like EVERYONE else. My philosophy has always been that I am no better or no worse than ANY other wife enlisted or officer. You responsibility is to love your husband and to support him in any way you can. But all wives do this. Just conduct yourself with grace and dignity. I would expect that from any person, that you give as much respect as you want to receive in return. . Who is telling your these things? or giving you warnings?
    Last edited by timsgurl1776; 06-15-2008 at 01:08 PM. Reason: grammar :)
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    #3
    I agree with everything said by the pp!

    Although years ago a wife was very important to her husband's career. If she didn't attend a tea, or volunteer for the officer would be looked down on. Not anymore.

    Don't stress, your only job is to love and support your husband, but that is a job you get whether you are married to a serviceman or a civilian!
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    #4
    Our experience has been that I can be as hands-on or hands-off as I want to be and it doesn't affect his career at all. Maybe because he is only an O-3? It's possible that it matters more as he gains rank, but for now it doesn't seem to be a factor and since he will probably get out as an O-3, I'm not concerned.

    We've been together for his whole career but between schools, deployments, and overseas assignments, I'm rarely physically present on post. That hasn't hurt DH's career as far as I can tell.
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    #5
    Quote Originally Posted by LindsayLin View Post
    I agree with everything said by the pp!

    Although years ago a wife was very important to her husband's career. If she didn't attend a tea, or volunteer for the officer would be looked down on. Not anymore.

    Don't stress, your only job is to love and support your husband, but that is a job you get whether you are married to a serviceman or a civilian!
    i think alot of your warnings are out of date... esp if you read the .. "military wives social handbook" or something.. gosh i cant remember for the life of me. they talk about wearing white gloves to tea? and what kind of invitation and thank you cards to write with examples.... and how often youre expected to HOST a tea

    yea, super out of date.

    i agree with the first responder! we are only as important as our husbands depend on us (or... my DB... soon enough ) and allow our home lives to effect them at work. as long as he does his job right there should be no problems with his home status
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    #6
    I agree with the other ladies. It seems being a wife has really involved and has less importance than it used to. As long as you're there to support your husband, it really doesn't matter if he's enlisted or officer.

    Btw, OP, what branch are you associated with?
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    #7
    wanted to add, when I originally saw Army Wives at first, I freaked over the hosting tea thing. Let's just say I haven't run into that problem in real life, yet.
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    #8
    This is just my opinion, and I am not and officers wife.

    It really depends on you! If you love him and support him you will be ok. If you are in love with his rank, and were it yourself you will loose! We are the support system. We keep the sanity of life while they meet the demands of their job! As a wife I do what supports my husband. I have been know to do drive by rib dinners for his platoon. Can't tell you the cookies, and cake's I have baked. Or the christmas parties I have decorated for!...humm In 25 years I have multiple t-shrits and sweetshirts that say Mrs T. wife of ........ Name the rank at the time. Lead with your heart, and the support comes easy!
    DH is HOME!


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    #9
    Not anymore. There are things you "should" do such has the Hail and Farewell teas etc just because it's a great way to meet people but your DH is not going to be promoted because you hosted the annual Christmas party or because you are the best knitter. KWIM?
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    #10
    Quote Originally Posted by timsgurl1776 View Post
    ]Is it true that the wife is an essential part in the husband (Officer's) success? I've heard it from a few places. As an "O" wife I believe I am ONLY essential because of my support and love, as ANY wife is.

    Does that mean single guys have hard time getting promotions? Or that a divorce can ruin a career? No. In fact most of the CO's of the ship's that my DH has been on were single. Your relationship status has NOTHING to do with your promotions as an officer. The same goes for divorce.

    My fiance will be an officer soon, and these warnings are starting to freak me out. I'm not very good at keeping in touch or making connections, or "securing" anything ... not even dinner! I mean what I am I meant to expect or do, or am I just working myself up? take a deep breath. Officers put their pants on just like EVERYONE else. My philosophy has always been that I am no better or no worse than ANY other wife enlisted or officer. You responsibility is to love your husband and to support him in any way you can. But all wives do this. Just conduct yourself with grace and dignity. I would expect that from any person that you give as much respect as you want to receive in return. . Who is telling your these things? or giving you warnings?


    I think the only time that any of your concerns MAY come into play is at the O6 or above and that's even questionable.
    I'm not Lynn, but we ARE MSOS Best Friends and MSOS Twins.
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