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Thread: Your husband's command question how YOU felt about HIS choices?

  1. Darkly Dreaming Dexter
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    #1

    Your husband's command question how YOU felt about HIS choices?

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    My husband told me the other day that a job he interviewed for asked him how I felt about him taking that job - it would have required him to be gone for weeks at a time.

    And I was shocked - funny, my husband always asks my opinion but never considers it seriously - or he asks my opinion AFTER he makes a decision which is just pointless.
    And, specifically, this job that asked - he didn't tell me that it would have required him to be gone for weeks at a time until AFTER he turned down the job offer...So, evidently, my opinion doesn't actually matter much.

    Do they think that men are honest about their wive's opinions when they're asked "what does your wife feel about this?" ... Do men even think to ask - and if they ask, do they actually care?

    Years ago when my husband went back into the military we had a long and stressful discussion about it - and my ultimate voice was "no, not now - we just got married and I'm pregnant, what if you deploy soon?" ... I wanted us to become a family before we faced deployment and duty. (Not such a big deal, really - he was in for 12 years before we met)
    But, my husband didn't take my view into consideration - he joined, anyway, and here we are.
    And I just wonder if they asked him, then, about my view and just what did he say about it.
  2. Senior Member
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    #2
    hmm, that's interesting. I wish someone would ask my opinion...lol
    Katie- Mommy to Kylee 10-30-05 (loving big sister, Ms. independent, intelligent, princess) and Auriana 09-17-08 (miracle baby with down syndrome, heart defects, hearing impairment, digestive problems, tube fed since birth, but determined to succeed, strong, loving, happy)

    Ask me about Congenital Heart Defects... 1 in 100, it could be your child...

    Ask me about Down Syndrome... more common than you think...

    Wife to a Disabled Army Veteran... been there, done that, moving on
  3. and still I think of you
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    #3
    I think its a great thing that they asked your dh what he thought you thought
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    #4
    Well I remember when my DH joined the Navy, the recruiter made me sign a statement that I was "allowing " him to join and that I understood what I was getting into . It was not in those exact words but that was interesting that the Navy even valued my opinion . funny thing is I have never been asked about my feelings on anything else in the last 8 years,
  5. Senior Member
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    #5
    Commands do ask, but not really because they care about how you're feeling. More like, is your wife going to cause the command problems if you take this job? That is why they ask.
    Dh does value my opinion, we discuss orders at length before he takes them. Ultimately, it is his career and his decision, but he does understand that everything he does affects his family, and makes decisions accordingly.
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    #6
    DH always asks my opinion... and at least tries to listen to it... he usually listens after I beat it into his brain that what ever I want is right, haha.
  7. Senior Member
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    #7
    I know that DH's command has asked him about my opinion before, and he just tells them that they should be asking me(if it's something duty related, not how's your wife like her job, ect.). A few of his commanders actually did ask me(about his deployment, epr's, all sorts of stuff) and I gave them my exact anwser about what I thought about it and so on and so forth. Needless to say, they don't ask my opinion anymore because they've pretty much learned that I won't mince my words hhehehe!! So no one asks me anymore, but they've learned not to ask DH either because he just tells them to ask me
    As far as DH asking my opinion, he usually does on important stuff, but not small trivial stuff. Luckly, he actually listens to any concerns I have about stuff too so that's good. The only major career thing he's asked me about is cross training and staying in or getting out at the end of his enlistment. I told him that I would prefer him to stay in, but only if he wants to. Either way he knows that we'll make it through and that I'll support him, so it'ss mostly up to him, since he has to actually "live" the military.
  8. I'm from the south and sometimes I have a big mouth
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    #8
    We always take each other opinions into consideration.
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    #9
    I guess I left out the part about DH, we do always discuss things down to the bare core... but I thought you were asking about the command asking me, opps
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    #10
    We did in January before his TDY, DH told his Captain, "I tell my wife how she feels." Big butthead.
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