Im Lost...Please Help..

WoW.Reading the things that you ladies have had to say has broken me down into tears on several occations, you are all so strong, its amazing. I havent really posted anything, Ive been reading alot though, i guess i havent known what to say, I know I need to reach out for help because i have no idea what im doing, Im very new to this whole army deal and i cant say im at all fond of it. I feel wrong complaining after reading what some of you have been through. Tommy is only in Bootcamp he even got to come home for christmas but Im so scared, he finds out in a matter of days where he is to report to after his return With bush sending 35,000 troops to Iraq (Tommy told me 35 not 20) theres even more of a possibility of deployment, not including forces needed in other regions. I love him so much and I have fully made up my mind to stick by his side through all of this. Im just not sure what to expect, I guess its the unknown thats feared the most, but how do you do it? an average of a year without him here? how does one stay so strong? How do you make it through the storm? on another note, I hear MIL SO's need to learn to be silent... is that true? like not talk to much about my opinion or all too much about whats happening here at home, especially if times are hard or sometimes how im feeling even... and... how do I support something I dont agree with... that sounds horrible.... I dont know what else to say though. Im lost...please help...

[USMC ISSUED]

GIRL WE ARE ALL HERE FOR YOU !!!

[Germanchick]

First off, welcome to SOS and I think it's great that you found the courage to post. As you said, asking for help is a first BIG step. Secondly, take a DEEP breath. We do it because we have to in order to support our SO. All of us have days where all we want to do is cry and make it all stop. The important thing though, is to pick yourself up after that and to keep busy. Finding people (like here on SOS) who are going through the same thing or have gone through the same thing before you is def helpful. There have been so many times when I reached out for help on here and knew that there would be someone to help me.

How long you will be without him is not something anyone can tell you at this point. Always expect the worst and hope for the best. If you love him and he loves you, you two can and will make it happen.

About the having to be silent thing.. I have never heard that and if I had to be silent that would not work for me. I have my own opinions on things and just because my husband happens to be in the military does not mean that I have to leave my own thinking behind.

[Germanchick]

My computer is acting up. I thought my reply didn't post and retyped a second one just to see that my first one did post. lol

[USNFFG52]

I completely agree with you. The silent thing I have never heard of. In the Navy it is a little different, we can't talk about when the ship is coming home or etc. We can have count ups from the day they left but not a countdown to when they come back because to be honest, no one really truly knows when they are coming home. We can all speculate when they are coming home but that can be a crap shoot too. Just remember that orders are written in Jell-O and can be changed at anytime. I know that is not too comforting but that is why there is a place like this for us to talk out any issues we may have. Hell, I miss my wife with all my heart but I also know in my mind that she will make it back home safely, I am confident in that. Welcome to SOS and yes I agree that it does take courage to post that for one of your first posts. Keep your head up and push on no matter how bad things may get.

[~Crystal~]

Originally Posted by USNFFG52 I completely agree with you. The silent thing I have never heard of. In the Navy it is a little different, we can't talk about when the ship is coming home or etc. We can have count ups from the day they left but not a countdown to when they come back because to be honest, no one really truly knows when they are coming home. We can all speculate when they are coming home but that can be a crap shoot too. Just remember that orders are written in Jell-O and can be changed at anytime. I know that is not too comforting but that is why there is a place like this for us to talk out any issues we may have. Hell, I miss my wife with all my heart but I also know in my mind that she will make it back home safely, I am confident in that. Welcome to SOS and yes I agree that it does take courage to post that for one of your first posts. Keep your head up and push on no matter how bad things may get.

Well said!!!! And welcome!!! We are always here for you!

[Shep's Wife]

Welcome to SOS!! and I agree that being silent refers to the ships movement, I voice my opinion as much as possiable!!

How do you guys do it?? I mean I loose my mind already even thinking of the thought of him being gone so long 5 months bootcamp is nothing compared to that of a year or two what do i do to stay strong? what do you do? And its ok to talk about everything or are there specifics on what i should and shouldnt say to him?

[USNFFG52]

Originally Posted by TommyGirl How do you guys do it?? I mean I loose my mind already even thinking of the thought of him being gone so long 5 months bootcamp is nothing compared to that of a year or two what do i do to stay strong? what do you do? And its ok to talk about everything or are there specifics on what i should and shouldnt say to him?

Hobbies, get hobbies. I build models. I am building one of the USS Stennis, the ship my wife is on. I keep thinking it is not going to be long and she will be home. I psyched myself out like that and now I believe that it will not be long. Do you like to play games, video games? I do and when I get mad I turn on the ole XBOX 360 and play call of duty 3 and kill people an blow stuff up. It might be different in the Army vs. the Navy as far as what you can and can't talk about. He will know what he can and can't say to you if thats IF he goes to the sandbox (Iraq). I had a friend that was in the Air Force and did 3 tours there and he would send us pictures of stuff from Iraq all the time. I don't think he was supposed to do that, lol. How does everyone deal with a deployment is really up to that individual. That is why there is a site like this, to vent, to talk to others that know what you are going through and try to help in any way possible. I mean I saw a post on here having to do with girl scout cookies and I found out they lived in my area so we set up a time and ordered 12 boxes. So, you just never know who you are going to run into on here. Good luck.

Originally Posted by TommyGirl Im just not sure what to expect, I guess its the unknown thats feared the most

That is exactly how I was at first. I am relatively new too, but we will get through it together! The women on here are so amazing, and so helpful if you ever need anything, have questions, or just someone to let your feelings out to. If you ever need to talk, I'm here for ya!