Basic has me down. - Military Boot Camp

NicoleMarieis · 01-08-2009, 02:22 PM

These three months are going by somewhat fast. Well, the first month at least, I’m only eight days into the second month so far.

There’s a lot of firsts I wish he was here to share with me: Our first Christmas together, his birthday, my first puppy, New Years, my first apartment, my first job, our first Valentine’s together. And I’m sure there will be a lot more firsts while he’s away. I guess I’m somewhat resentful for that. I’m learning so much about myself, growing up, maturing and I wish he was here to share all of it with me. The shopping for furniture for my apartment, actually looking at apartments, the stress I have at work, all the tears, the bruises from my teething puppy, the smile I have every time she greets me at the door, all that stuff will just be routine by the time he gets home for ten days. He missed New Years, celebrating and, boy, do I want my New Years kiss. I’ve never experienced a New Years kiss from a boyfriend, had a boyfriend for Valentine’s Day, or Christmas. And now that he’s a part of my life, I still don’t get any of those things. He won’t even be here for my birthday. It isn’t a big birthday, my twentieth. But still, it makes my heart hurt that he won’t be here to see how excited I am, when I smile, when I cry.

I guess right now, I’m feeling lonely. I’m stressed at work, by the time 10pm rolls around and I’m still sitting behind a computer feeling like breaking down in tears or throwing a fit and I just want a hug. I want him to be able to tell me I can get through this. I want to be able to come home to him.

However; I love his mom. We talk for a good hour or so every time she calls. I have to remember to call her more. She makes me feel better and we talk about silly every day things besides just him. It’s nice because she’s missing her son and I’m missing my boyfriend. It’s like having a good MIL without the commitment!

And I know all of this is stuff I’ll have to adjust to eventually. Especially, if/when he gets deployed. I just think it sucks. Perhaps I should’ve put this in the “venting” section. I wish there was a “excuse me while I complain and feel bad for myself” section – because this is def that. I just feel bad for myself. I like being able to depend on someone.

Then I read threads on here about girls being cheated on, boyfriends lying, all of that jazz and I get paranoid. Especially when my brother’s roommate also comments on Scott’s body, excuse me Phillip, he’s my boyfriend. You’re only going to make me more jealous if straight you thinks he has a gorgeous body, girls probably think the same way. (He wrote me that his abs look super amazing! Mm. We’re so having fun when he gets back!)

I miss my boyfriend. I miss my best friend. I miss my cuddle buddy. I miss my sex buddy. I miss sex.

But hey! Just under two months left to go. My life has taken a turn for the best regarding maturity, growing up, and loving every single second of it. I’m becoming more responsible for myself and my actions and not having him to fall back on has helped me out a lot. So with the negative there is some positive.

Sorry it’s so, so, so long. Cookies for anyone who read it all! It looks longer in Word than it does on here...

xocassandralee · 01-08-2009, 02:28 PM

Originally Posted by NicoleMarieis

But hey! Just under two months left to go. My life has taken a turn for the best regarding maturity, growing up, and loving every single second of it. I’m becoming more responsible for myself and my actions and not having him to fall back on has helped me out a lot. So with the negative there is some positive.

When you get upset like this, remind yourself of what you said. Good for you, you did a lot of firsts on your own!! This is a good time for you to grow and become independent, thats exactly what Im taking this time to do.

Shantell12 · 01-08-2009, 02:29 PM

Im sorry your going through a hard time. We all have good days and bad days. You will have plenty but hopefully tomorrow will be a better day for you

~~BJo~~ · 01-08-2009, 02:30 PM

That's just the tip of the iceberg on things he will miss. Just cherish the moments you guys will have together.

CCArmyWife · 01-08-2009, 02:55 PM

Remember that for you things will be routine, like your puppy greeting you at the door and your apartment and things, but when he comes home it will all be new for him and he will be excited for you, even if the excitment has worn off for you.

I know how hard it is to miss out on sharing firsts together, our DS is learning to talk without his Daddy here. It sucks, but in the long run it is an amazing experience.

01-08-2009, 02:22 PM	#1 (permalink)
NicoleMarieis in love. Join Date: Dec 2008 Posts: 64 Blog Entries: 2 Classifieds: (0) Activity: 0% Longevity: 20%	Basic has me down. These three months are going by somewhat fast. Well, the first month at least, I’m only eight days into the second month so far. There’s a lot of firsts I wish he was here to share with me: Our first Christmas together, his birthday, my first puppy, New Years, my first apartment, my first job, our first Valentine’s together. And I’m sure there will be a lot more firsts while he’s away. I guess I’m somewhat resentful for that. I’m learning so much about myself, growing up, maturing and I wish he was here to share all of it with me. The shopping for furniture for my apartment, actually looking at apartments, the stress I have at work, all the tears, the bruises from my teething puppy, the smile I have every time she greets me at the door, all that stuff will just be routine by the time he gets home for ten days. He missed New Years, celebrating and, boy, do I want my New Years kiss. I’ve never experienced a New Years kiss from a boyfriend, had a boyfriend for Valentine’s Day, or Christmas. And now that he’s a part of my life, I still don’t get any of those things. He won’t even be here for my birthday. It isn’t a big birthday, my twentieth. But still, it makes my heart hurt that he won’t be here to see how excited I am, when I smile, when I cry. I guess right now, I’m feeling lonely. I’m stressed at work, by the time 10pm rolls around and I’m still sitting behind a computer feeling like breaking down in tears or throwing a fit and I just want a hug. I want him to be able to tell me I can get through this. I want to be able to come home to him. However; I love his mom. We talk for a good hour or so every time she calls. I have to remember to call her more. She makes me feel better and we talk about silly every day things besides just him. It’s nice because she’s missing her son and I’m missing my boyfriend. It’s like having a good MIL without the commitment! And I know all of this is stuff I’ll have to adjust to eventually. Especially, if/when he gets deployed. I just think it sucks. Perhaps I should’ve put this in the “venting” section. I wish there was a “excuse me while I complain and feel bad for myself” section – because this is def that. I just feel bad for myself. I like being able to depend on someone. Then I read threads on here about girls being cheated on, boyfriends lying, all of that jazz and I get paranoid. Especially when my brother’s roommate also comments on Scott’s body, excuse me Phillip, he’s my boyfriend. You’re only going to make me more jealous if straight you thinks he has a gorgeous body, girls probably think the same way. (He wrote me that his abs look super amazing! Mm. We’re so having fun when he gets back!) I miss my boyfriend. I miss my best friend. I miss my cuddle buddy. I miss my sex buddy. I miss sex. But hey! Just under two months left to go. My life has taken a turn for the best regarding maturity, growing up, and loving every single second of it. I’m becoming more responsible for myself and my actions and not having him to fall back on has helped me out a lot. So with the negative there is some positive. Sorry it’s so, so, so long. Cookies for anyone who read it all! It looks longer in Word than it does on here... __________________ Abby Mae brings Mister Scott letters

01-08-2009, 02:29 PM	#3 (permalink)
Shantell12 Adams Girl Join Date: Sep 2008 Posts: 2,849 Blog Entries: 1 Classifieds: (1) Activity: 15% Longevity: 24%	Im sorry your going through a hard time. We all have good days and bad days. You will have plenty but hopefully tomorrow will be a better day for you __________________

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01-08-2009, 02:30 PM	#4 (permalink)
~~BJo~~ Banned Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: Your mom Posts: 25,358 Classifieds: (0) Activity: 0% Longevity: 43%	That's just the tip of the iceberg on things he will miss. Just cherish the moments you guys will have together.

01-08-2009, 02:55 PM	#5 (permalink)
CCArmyWife Account Closed Join Date: Nov 2008 Posts: 4,029 Classifieds: (0) Activity: 0% Longevity: 21%	Remember that for you things will be routine, like your puppy greeting you at the door and your apartment and things, but when he comes home it will all be new for him and he will be excited for you, even if the excitment has worn off for you. I know how hard it is to miss out on sharing firsts together, our DS is learning to talk without his Daddy here. It sucks, but in the long run it is an amazing experience.