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Thread: what do you think I should do?

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    Heather's Avatar
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    #1

    what do you think I should do?

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    Im not sure where to put this, military, parenting, health? sorry

    Anyhow my son Cory is going to be 8 in two months. My husband left on deployment (refer to ticker in siggy). Yesterday and today have been really tough days for Cory and I.

    Yesterday I had planned to take the kids to the Wild Animal Park for the day but I asked them to clean up before we left. Cory gave me major attitude. He was falling on the floor, he threw some things and started yelling at me. I sent him to his room for an hour and called off the trip. After he cooled down and had a better attitude I allowed him to go swimming in the new pool here. (thinking about that now I shouldn't have)

    Today at school he talked so much he almost had to call home. I talked to him about it and told him hes not at school to have friends and fun hes there to learn. I said he needs to shut his mouth when its not time for talking. Friends are for recess and after school. (Its not the first time hes been in trouble for talking. It IS the first time its been that bad) He got really pissy, threw his home work on the floor and sat mumbling about how mean I am. He was really mean to Lily too. He even spit in her eye at one point. I made him help her clean out her eye and then he had to sit and be alone for a bit.

    We've been home for 7 days since John left and its only been the past two that have been hard. I mentioned his behavior to my mom and she thinks I should get him in to see a counselor before things get worse. Im undecided. I think it may just be him having a few bad days. Its our first depolyment. Johns been gone from us for a few months before so we know what it feels like. Cory never acted like this any of the other times his dad has been gone.

    What do you think? Counseling or just let things be and see how it turns out?

    Its so hard to know what to do.

    Have any of you had kids act like this when their dad left on deployment? What did you do?
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    #2
    i would have him see a counsler. it wont hurt any, but if there really is a need. you get to it early. let me know.... i know someone that deals mostly with military kids. she is civilian and will take care of all the paperwork with tricare as well.
  3. Bex
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    #3
    have YOu sat down and tried to talk to him about his daddy being gone? would it help if maybe someone other than you talked to him? maybe a counselor? a friend? hell, i'll do it if you want

    good luck, heather! deploys are always hard on the kids... maybe just sit him down and say "i know what you're feeling with daddy being gone... however, with him gone, YOU get to be the little man... " and go on to say how you depend on him for help with lily, housework, school, etc... in his dad's absence. make him feel empowered and important



    i'm here if you want to talk!
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    #4
    Donna I'll keep that in mind.

    Becky thats great wording. I have mostly told him dads going to be gone for a long time and that I need his help. I'll talk to him tomorrow and see if it helps over the next few days. He usually such an easy going kid he just takes things as they come so this whole behavior thing is new for him and for me. That kind of thing is more Lilys style.
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    #5
    His actions seem to be very typical really. Our kids always went through an adjustment period. I would just keep talking w/him and giving him a little extra one on one attention maybe at bed time. When dh is gone I always lay in bed w/the oldest and we just talk.
  6. Psych Student by Day..
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    #6
    Hang in there Heather. I really know nothing about kids, so I'm not going to claim I do, but I have a great deal of faith in counseling, especially for kids.


    Thank you for my siggy Stacey!
    He's home from Iraq!

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