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Thread: Marry before or after deployment?

  1. Fresh Newbie
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    #1

    Marry before or after deployment?

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    Hi! My SIT and I have been dating for a little over 3 years, and he'll graduate from AIT soon (yay!). He wants to get engaged soon after his return and be legally married before a deployment. I, on the other hand, would like to graduate from college first (I still have 3 years left) and have a full-blown ceremony. Are there any benefits to getting married before he deploys? He's National Guard and I've had a lot of trouble finding any benefits for spouses.

    Thank you!
    Kayla
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    #2

    National Guard Deployment Benefits?

    Hi! My SIT and I have been dating for a little over 3 years, and he'll graduate from AIT soon (yay!). He wants to get engaged soon after his return and be legally married before a deployment. I, on the other hand, would like to graduate from college first (I still have 3 years left) and have a full-blown ceremony. Are there any benefits to getting married before he deploys? He's National Guard and I've had a lot of trouble finding any benefits for spouses.

    Thank you!
    Kayla
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    #3
    Get married when you want to. Does he have a deloyment date? If not, don't worry about planning for a deployment that hasn't even been scheduled yet.

    Graduating was important too me also, so we waited until I graduated before getting married. It was fine. DH left on deployment later that year. Not sure how national guard is, but DH didn't leave immediately after he got out of training, it was a couple of years before he was ready for s deployment.
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    #4
    I don't think he'll know if he's getting deployed until after training when he gets assigned to a unit. It could be years before he gets deployed. Don't think about deployment unless he has a set date. Do what you think is best. If you want to wait, then do so. Maybe have a long talk about why he wants to rush and why you want to wait so you can come to an agreement
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    #5
    Quote Originally Posted by KaylaGoodman View Post
    Hi! My SIT and I have been dating for a little over 3 years, and he'll graduate from AIT soon (yay!). He wants to get engaged soon after his return and be legally married before a deployment. I, on the other hand, would like to graduate from college first (I still have 3 years left) and have a full-blown ceremony. Are there any benefits to getting married before he deploys? He's National Guard and I've had a lot of trouble finding any benefits for spouses.

    Thank you!
    Kayla
    I don't know about the benefits because National Guard works a bit differently than active duty. But, I will tell you that rushing for the benefits is never a good idea. Also, you have no way of knowing when he might deploy, especially since he's still in MOS school. It could be years or he may even have to volunteer for one, if he wants to. If your heart tells you to wait three years until you're done with school then do that! He'll be still be there (I don't believe Guard has to PCS).




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    #6
    Quote Originally Posted by idratherbehiking View Post
    I don't know about the benefits because National Guard works a bit differently than active duty. But, I will tell you that rushing for the benefits is never a good idea. Also, you have no way of knowing when he might deploy, especially since he's still in MOS school. It could be years or he may even have to volunteer for one, if he wants to. If your heart tells you to wait three years until you're done with school then do that! He'll be still be there (I don't believe Guard has to PCS).
    My friend who is in guard was in for 5 years before he deployed and he even tried several times to volunteer for deployment and they wouldn't take him even though he is qualified enough. And he has not had to PCS. They just assign him to a unit where he lives. Don't know about benefits though
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    #7
    DH is in the Army Guard and honestly there aren't really that many "benefits". When DH deployed, he got BAH I got tricare (health insurance). There really isn't much more. Getting married while in school can really mess with your financial aid (learned that the hard way). If he isn't deployed, you both can be on tricare, but you will have to pay.

    Honestly, if you have health insurance through your parents, I would wait to get married. Have the ceremony you want and don't feel rushed.
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    #8
    Quote Originally Posted by HisJuliet View Post
    DH is in the Army Guard and honestly there aren't really that many "benefits". When DH deployed, he got BAH I got tricare (health insurance). There really isn't much more. Getting married while in school can really mess with your financial aid (learned that the hard way). If he isn't deployed, you both can be on tricare, but you will have to pay.

    Honestly, if you have health insurance through your parents, I would wait to get married. Have the ceremony you want and don't feel rushed.
    All of this.

    A deployment or potential benefits are not reasons to get married or rush into anything. You said you don't want to get married until after college, so I'd stick to that plan if I were you (especially if you're getting loans).
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    #9
    Agreed with everyone!
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    #10
    You have the right idea. Wait til you are done with school. As stated, going from a parents dependent to a married person will mess with financial aid, there are few benefits for the guard unless they are deployed and who knows when that will actually happen (even if there are talks that is meaningless until he is on that plane) etc.

    Finish school and survive a deployment or two as a couple but not married.

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