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Thread: Separation and BAH

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    #1

    Separation and BAH

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    Good afternoon,

    I really need some help. My wife is in the Navy and to make a long story short (because the things she has done and things she has done that isn't legal...is a long list) she gets a BAH of $1400. Since we have been married which hasn't been long (less then six months) she has only helped out with housing amount of $1400. That is besides the point, I travel for a living and whenever I come home she leaves and goes out partying never is with me or speaks to me or even sleeps in the same room as me. I have asked for a separation from her and finally had her sign an agreement. When I had the agreement wrote up through the internet (I know I should have had a lawyer look at it first) In the state of Virginia, she has to be off the lease and out of the house until the separation starts and six months after to get a divorce. The rent for the house is $1700. I know she is required to either give me half of her BAH or 1/3 of her gross pay. I have only asked her for $700 of her BAH which she does not want to give me (it isn't even her money to begin with, it is the Navy's..and I have told her that but she wants to take advantage of the Navy's money.) The problem is that in the agreement to protect myself I had a clause in place which states,

    11. SPOUSAL SUPPORT/ALIMONY. The parties agree that neither shall receive
    spousal support from the other and each waives and releases any and all claim
    against the other for spousal support, maintenance or alimony. The parties further
    agree the Court will not retain jurisdiction of the matter of spousal support,
    maintenance or alimony and this waiver, once incorporated in a final decree of
    divorce, terminates any and all rights each party may have held to such support.

    I have been to Navy Legal on base once already and they said that it was good that I had that in place for me and that she would be still required to provide me with BAH. She has went to another base (Army base) that has told her otherwise because of that clause. I am now really worried out of my mind because I don't know if I am going to be able to afford to pay for this house all on my own. (I will be but really stretching the bills...ever since we moved in here, I have been because she said and knew she was suppose to give that for housing.)

    Also while I was at legal, he also told me that if I wanted to, the contract could be voided just because of how it was written though it is still an agreement. (with no page numbers and so on) I would rather not have to go that route if not needed. But I also DO NOT want her to be taking advantage of the benefits of us being married ( I feel like she has been using me this whole time and now she is doing it again. )

    Please someone help me if they can. I really need the help and have been really stressing over this. Thank you very much.

    Best,

    Glen
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    #2
    Quote Originally Posted by brada View Post
    Good afternoon,

    I really need some help. My wife is in the Navy and to make a long story short (because the things she has done and things she has done that isn't legal...is a long list) she gets a BAH of $1400. Since we have been married which hasn't been long (less then six months) she has only helped out with housing amount of $1400. That is besides the point, I travel for a living and whenever I come home she leaves and goes out partying never is with me or speaks to me or even sleeps in the same room as me. I have asked for a separation from her and finally had her sign an agreement. When I had the agreement wrote up through the internet (I know I should have had a lawyer look at it first) In the state of Virginia, she has to be off the lease and out of the house until the separation starts and six months after to get a divorce. The rent for the house is $1700. I know she is required to either give me half of her BAH or 1/3 of her gross pay. I have only asked her for $700 of her BAH which she does not want to give me (it isn't even her money to begin with, it is the Navy's..and I have told her that but she wants to take advantage of the Navy's money.) The problem is that in the agreement to protect myself I had a clause in place which states,

    11. SPOUSAL SUPPORT/ALIMONY. The parties agree that neither shall receive
    spousal support from the other and each waives and releases any and all claim
    against the other for spousal support, maintenance or alimony. The parties further
    agree the Court will not retain jurisdiction of the matter of spousal support,
    maintenance or alimony and this waiver, once incorporated in a final decree of
    divorce, terminates any and all rights each party may have held to such support.

    I have been to Navy Legal on base once already and they said that it was good that I had that in place for me and that she would be still required to provide me with BAH. She has went to another base (Army base) that has told her otherwise because of that clause. I am now really worried out of my mind because I don't know if I am going to be able to afford to pay for this house all on my own. (I will be but really stretching the bills...ever since we moved in here, I have been because she said and knew she was suppose to give that for housing.)

    Also while I was at legal, he also told me that if I wanted to, the contract could be voided just because of how it was written though it is still an agreement. (with no page numbers and so on) I would rather not have to go that route if not needed. But I also DO NOT want her to be taking advantage of the benefits of us being married ( I feel like she has been using me this whole time and now she is doing it again. )

    Please someone help me if they can. I really need the help and have been really stressing over this. Thank you very much.

    Best,

    Glen
    I think you just need to get a lawyer and do everything the right way. No handwritten agreements and what not.
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    #3
    Um . . . welcome?
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sally View Post
    Um . . . welcome?
  5. "If you don't like my attitude, quit talking to me"
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    #5
    First advice... get a lawyer... base legal can only provide general advice and guidance, not legal counsel. A divorce lawyer is the one that can help you with the clause. If you can find one that specializes in military divorces that's even better.

    Second, I believe you are entitled to the difference in BAH with dependents and BAH without dependents.. which in many cases is only a few hundred dollars.

    If you go here: BAH Calculator and put in her rank and the zip code of the duty station it will give you the two different rates.

    If the $700 is more than what the difference is, then she doesn't have to pay you the $700.

    She can get BAH as long as she is living off base (married or not) the amount depends on whether she is or isn't married.

    There are 10 types of people in the world, those that understand binary and those that don't
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    #6
    you are only allowed the difference in single and married BAH and now 20%, recent rule change,,,,, until a court order is in place.

    your signed papers unless notarized means nothing to the military or to the court.

    and even notarized can not really be enforced in divorce court.

    you need to get an attorney and file everything legally.
    the military will not enforce anything unless it is a court order.
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    #7
    Thank you for the replies and anymore is welcomed please. She is only a E-3 right now in the Navy so she wouldn't by Navy Orders be allowed to live off base and have BAH until she is at least E-5. As far as the BAH, the order that I was shown at legal was this order.

    http://www.public.navy.mil/bupers-np...s/1754-030.pdf

    I am really frustrated because she wanted to get married when she got out of boot camp which was in June and have a wedding in November so we would have the housing allowance. Ever since then she has kept all of it but that little amount that she has put in. (four checks of $350) and she has been pocketing the rest. The last two plus months have been horrible for me because I come home and really expect to be with her and she is out drinking with underage sailors and buying them alcohol (and while I am not home they are coming to the house and having parties here, mostly guys and there has been three complaints from my neighbors when I come home and they let me know) I am a formal Marine and know a little about how the system works but I don't really know much about being married while in the service.

    Best,

    Glen
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    #8
    I'm not sure where you are getting the "half of BAH or 1/3 of gross pay" thing. That is a far, far different answer than any I've ever heard.

    As far it being the Navy's money, I fail to see that logic. It's part of her pay entitlements. Is her salary the Navy's money? No, it is hers, which she earned as compensation for her work.

    And IANAL, but I'd say that your clause doesn't look great for your cause. Not a great idea. It sounds like you put it together without consult of counsel. Bad idea. Learn from it and going forward, hire a lawyer. ASAP. Don't rely on base legal. The are not civil law experts. Hire someone who is an expert in the filed of divorce, and have them protect your interests.
    Science always wins over bullshit. ~Dick Rutkowski
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    #9
    Since we cross posted, your document says, "What is adequate or reasonably sufficient support is a highly complex and individual matter dependent on numerous factors, and may be resolved only in a civil court of competent jurisdiction. " SO the military recognizes that it doesn't have the authority to or interest in setting down firm rules of support.

    The chart that lists your 1/3 number says it is in lieu of other agreements. Based on a layperson's reading, it seems that you agreed to something else.

    Also, it says, that chart, "may be used as a guide until such time as a mutual agreement is reached or a court order obtained. This scale is intended only as an interim measure and as a guide to the extent that major factors affecting the ability to provide support[...] may be considered to effect equitable adjustments to the support scale."

    So it seems far from a hard and fast rule. Lots of wiggle room.

    It sounds like your marriage was a mess from the beginning, and that it was a bad choice on both of your part's to marry. But that's not really relevant to anything else.

    Again, get a lawyer.
    Science always wins over bullshit. ~Dick Rutkowski
  10. Fresh Newbie
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    #10
    If you look at the order that in the link it shows, 1/3 of gross pay on it.

    http://www.public.navy.mil/bupers-np...s/1754-030.pdf

    This is the information that was provided to me by base legal and he is a reservist for the Navy. Outside the Navy he is a marriage lawyer. I do agree that I do need to get a lawyer as soon as possible. But as far as the money being the Navy's money, no it isn't but it is also not for her to spend on anything but the housing allowance while we are married for a couple to live. As soon as we get a divorce she will no longer have that money or be entitled to it. It is not a reward for her to get money to be married with me and not be with me or us the money for the purpose it isn't suppose to be used for. If you have lived in Norfolk, VA there has been a huge ring of Navy personal busted for doing such and abusing the system.
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