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Thread: New wife, Tricare/ mental health question

  1. Fresh Newbie
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    #1

    New wife, Tricare/ mental health question

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    Hi there. I really need some help, I'm at a loss here and I have no one else to ask.

    I want to see a psychologist and/or psychiatrist. I have been wanting to for awhile now. It's nothing terribly serious... just some depression/anxiety that is affecting my life, and my relationship with my husband, in a negative way.

    However, every time I bring it up to my husband, he tells me I need to be careful and sometimes tells me I probably shouldn't see a doctor about these issues. He is of the opinion that it will make us unable to transfer outconus (he really wants to go back to Alaska on our next tour). He also says things like this (verbatim) "The Coast Guard will put us on a special needs program. That may cause us to have to move. I'm just saying I've seen a lot of people forced to move because of that. It will make it hard for us to go outconus."

    Is there any validity to his arguments? He tends to get an idea in his head or hear a rumor and read it as the gospel truth without really knowing the facts. Please let me know what your experience is with these matters. I'd really appreciate it.
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    #2
    Quote Originally Posted by AkCoastie View Post
    Hi there. I really need some help, I'm at a loss here and I have no one else to ask.

    I want to see a psychologist and/or psychiatrist. I have been wanting to for awhile now. It's nothing terribly serious... just some depression/anxiety that is affecting my life, and my relationship with my husband, in a negative way.

    However, every time I bring it up to my husband, he tells me I need to be careful and sometimes tells me I probably shouldn't see a doctor about these issues. He is of the opinion that it will make us unable to transfer outconus (he really wants to go back to Alaska on our next tour). He also says things like this (verbatim) "The Coast Guard will put us on a special needs program. That may cause us to have to move. I'm just saying I've seen a lot of people forced to move because of that. It will make it hard for us to go outconus."

    Is there any validity to his arguments? He tends to get an idea in his head or hear a rumor and read it as the gospel truth without really knowing the facts. Please let me know what your experience is with these matters. I'd really appreciate it.
    My answer to that would be - so what if it does? Is your mental health and well-being not more important than being able to go OCONUS? I just cannot grasp one spouse discouraging the other from seeking help when they need it -- the thought makes me very sad for you.
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    #3
    Depression/Anxiety isn't some unusual condition that it's hard to find a doctor for... so I don't see why it'd be an issue, but I agree with what Ziva said. If it's negatively affecting your life/relationships, you should get the help you need. Depression/Anxiety aren't necessarily lifelong conditions either and can be overcome so I don't see why he wouldn't want you to at least TRY to get help.
  4. Fresh Newbie
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    Because it's not totally debilitating.... I'm from Alaska (all of my friends and family are there), and he fell in love with the place, so we really had our hearts set on going back. If me going to a psychologist meant destroying my chance to go home....Well that's why I'm trying to be careful and find out the truth of it all.
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    #5
    Honest answer... It may depending on the diagnosis, but same would be if you had kids and your kids needed help. Would you forfeit help for your kids if it meant going home? Whatever the answer is you should also apply it to yourself
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  6. MilitarySOS Jewel
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    #6
    You aren't required to register for EFMP (what's he's talking about, the program that would restrict overseas stations) unless:

    Enrollment in the EFMP is MANDATORY if any of the criteria are met. In general, an active–duty Family member qualifies for EFMP if they:
    • Require any medical care above the level normally provided by a family physician in an outpatient setting.
    • Have serious or chronic medical problems, physical disabilities, mental health disorders or require specialty follow up support or early intervention/special education services.


    Facts about the Exceptional Family Member Program from CRDAMC

    I had PPD and I am seeing a psychologist for PTSD. My diagnoses in no way restrict my husband's base choices because 1) I have never been an inpatient, 2) I have never been a threat to myself or others, and 3) I am not on any medication.

    You can get care without entering the EFMP.
    ​​​

    “Somewhere, something incredible is waiting to be known.” -- Carl Sagan

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    #7
    All the more reason I don't think seeing a psychologist would affect a chance for an assignment in Alaska. Alaska is "overseas" like Hawaii is "overseas." It's not like there are no psychologists in Alaska if you needed continuing care, I assume. That's the big concern for overseas assignments as far as health concerns go, "will the dependent have access to the proper care in XYZ location?"
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    #8
    Just wanted to add this:

    Common Diagnoses for Enrollment:
    • ADD/ADHD/ODD (if the Family member is on more than one medication, has a co-morbid condition or receives any counseling)
    • Allergies (if the Family member requires allergy shots or follow-up with an allergist more than once a year)
    • Asthma/RAD (unless it is mild and does not necessitate controller meds)
    • Autism/Pervasive Developmental Disorders (all require medical enrollment, may also require educational enrollment)
    • Autoimmune/Neuromuscular Disorders (such as Muscular Dystrophy, Lupus, Multiple Sclerosis, Rheumatoid Arthritis)
    • Behavioral Health Conditions (Anxiety Disorder, Bipolar Disorder, Depression, Eating Disorder, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, PTSD, Schizophrenia, etc. All must be enrolled who have been treated with medication or received therapy within the last 5 years.)
    • Cancer (unless the Family member has completed treatments, is in remission > 5 years, and requires no further follow-up)
    • Cervical Dysplasia/Abnormal Pap smear (if the Family member requires pap smears 2x/year or greater or if the Family member requires colposcopy)
    • Cerebral Palsy or Loss of Mobility
    • Cleft Lip/Palate
    • Developmental Delay (including those receiving early intervention services or speech treatment, PT, or OT)
    • Diabetes (all IDDM; any NIDDM requiring frequent or specialist follow-up.)
    • Equipment (e.g., g-tube, O2, pacemaker, shunt, tracheostomy, wheelchair or other aide, insulin pump)
    • Genetic Disorders/Congenital Anomalies
    • Hearing Problems/Deafness
    • Heart Conditions
    • Inflammatory Bowel Disease
    • Immunodeficiency
    • Premature or High Risk Infants
    • Seizure Disorders/Epilepsy
    • Sickle Cell Disease/Bleeding
    • Special Education/Early Intervention Requirements
    • Substance Abuse
    • Thyroid Problems
    • Vision Problems/Blindness

    Any other medical, educational or behavioral health condition should be considered if follow-up with a specialist is required. These include but are not limited to: Allergy/Immunology, Neurosurgery, Audiology, Obstetrics/Gynecology, Cardiology, Oncology, Dermatology, Ophthalmology, Developmental Pediatrics, Orthopedic Surgery, Endocrinology, Otolaryngology (ENT), Gastroenterology, Psychology, Hematology, Psychiatry, Infectious Disease, Pulmonology, Internal Medicine, Rheumatology, Neonatology, Surgery, Nephrology, Urology, and/or Neurology.
    Exceptional Family Member Program | U.S. Army in Europe

    I completely understand your hesitance to get help. I felt the same way-- I wanted to get help, but I didn't feel that it was worth affecting my husband's career since I was managing on my own. I was very clear when I went in that I wanted to work with a psychologist in some sort of talk therapy and that I didn't want to be medication dependent. It was a personal choice of mine and it has worked very well for me. Also, it says "must be enrolled if have received therapy in the last 5 years", but that's a personal choice by your psychologist. They decide whether they think that you need to be enrolled or not. Mine felt that it wasn't necessary.
    ​​​

    “Somewhere, something incredible is waiting to be known.” -- Carl Sagan

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    #9
    that link is for the Army- the CG rules are different-

    unfortunately you will be required to be on the SN program for the CG.
    but do not let that deter you from getting the help you need.

    we were stationed in AK and we saw some one who was actively being treated for depression and did not enroll in the SN program, they got to AK, and she had a terrible time the first winter.
    they did end up sending them back to the lower 48 but the member had to go to capt's mast for lying on the Overseas screening forms. he lost rank and 3 months worth of pay.
    in other words- DO NOT LIE on the forms it is not worth his career.

    get the help you need, enroll in EFMP and go from there.
    I will see if I can find the SN program info for the CG.
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    #10
    also it is true that for the CG it is almost a 100% disqualifier for AK. ANY part --including Anchorage.
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