Military Significant Others and Spouse Support - MilitarySOS.com
Page 1 of 3 123 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 28

Thread: He's giving me no support...what can I do?

  1. Fresh Newbie
    Armywife126's Avatar
    Armywife126 is offline
    Fresh Newbie
    Join Date
    Jan 2012
    Posts
    10
    #1

    He's giving me no support...what can I do?

    Advertisements
    Long story short..My husband is stationed in Fort Hood, TX...receiving BAH for being married to me and for my child from a previous relationship I was in. I currently live in Kentucky. He has never given me a penny for any kind of support. Is there anything I can do about this????
  2. Senior Member
    mo2love's Avatar
    mo2love is offline
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2011
    Location
    Fairchild AFB
    Posts
    966

    #2
    Quote Originally Posted by Armywife126 View Post
    Long story short..My husband is stationed in Fort Hood, TX...receiving BAH for being married to me and for my child from a previous relationship I was in. I currently live in Kentucky. He has never given me a penny for any kind of support. Is there anything I can do about this????
    Your still leagally married correct not sepparated? I don't know if their is a law about him having to give you anything unless you have court orders but I may be wrong. I dont know sorry.


    The day You decide to do it is your lucky day.
    ~ Japanese Proverb
  3. Looking for the sunshine...
    Jayo's Avatar
    Jayo is offline
    Looking for the sunshine...
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    Location
    San Diego
    Posts
    13,586

    #3
    May I ask why are you not living with him? Technically you are only "entitled" to the difference between single and married BAH. Do you have a military ID card? Enrolled in DEERS for medical benefits?

    You best bet is to hire a lawyer. Without court documents the military isn't bound to "do" anything. I would first contact him and ask him why he is not providing support. Get everything in writing and keep all documentation (emails, keep voicemail messages).
  4. "If you don't like my attitude, quit talking to me"
    TrishAFSpouse's Avatar
    TrishAFSpouse is offline
    "If you don't like my attitude, quit talking to me"
    Join Date
    Jan 2011
    Location
    VA
    Posts
    12,308
    #4
    Are you divorced yet or just separated?

    Without court orders there is nothing you can do. Even his command can't make him give you money without a court order. With a court order they might be able to do something, but all you'd be given is the difference between with dependent rate and without.
  5. Fresh Newbie
    Armywife126's Avatar
    Armywife126 is offline
    Fresh Newbie
    Join Date
    Jan 2012
    Posts
    10
    #5
    I am still married and not legally separated. I live in Kentucky in our home town where we're both from pending court's permission to move out of state with the child from my previous relationship. I've been travelling to Texas every 3 weeks to visit my husband. I'm almost positive he's cheating on me. In all honesty, I want a divorce and he refuses to file because he says I have to pay for it, which I obviously cannot afford being a single mother working full time and attending college full time.
    I have a military id card and am enrolled in DEERS with his insurance on myself and my child.
  6. Fresh Newbie
    Armywife126's Avatar
    Armywife126 is offline
    Fresh Newbie
    Join Date
    Jan 2012
    Posts
    10
    #6
    Quote Originally Posted by TrishAFSpouse View Post
    Are you divorced yet or just separated?

    Without court orders there is nothing you can do. Even his command can't make him give you money without a court order. With a court order they might be able to do something, but all you'd be given is the difference between with dependent rate and without.
    I am neither divorced or separated. I'm almost certain he only married me to get the BAH being that he was previously married and never reported his divorce to his ex wife to the army to continue receiving the extra money.
  7. "If you don't like my attitude, quit talking to me"
    TrishAFSpouse's Avatar
    TrishAFSpouse is offline
    "If you don't like my attitude, quit talking to me"
    Join Date
    Jan 2011
    Location
    VA
    Posts
    12,308
    #7
    based on your information there is very little that you can do.
    Sounds like you 'chose' to stay in KY when he PCS'd to TX (granted you had no choice).

    While the moral thing for him to do is to send you money, he isn't entitled nor obligated. As far as the military is concerned you are still married and chose to stay in KY while he went to TX. Since he is married and such he isn't 'authorized' to live on base, thus he has to live off base.

    If you believe he is cheating and want a divorce, then I guess you need to figure out how to do that. He would have to pay for one too, its not free in the military (he can't go to JAG), so either way one of you is going to have to pay for it. Since he sees no valid reason to divorce he probably doesn't see a reason to pay for it. You are suspecting him of cheating and want it to end, so in his eyes, its in your court.

    With out court orders there is nothing you can do. He isn't required to do anything. He's getting BAH based on TX where you and he belong.

    Even with a divorce you won't get anything from him since the child isn't his.
  8. Fresh Newbie
    Armywife126's Avatar
    Armywife126 is offline
    Fresh Newbie
    Join Date
    Jan 2012
    Posts
    10
    #8
    Quote Originally Posted by TrishAFSpouse View Post
    based on your information there is very little that you can do.
    Sounds like you 'chose' to stay in KY when he PCS'd to TX (granted you had no choice).

    While the moral thing for him to do is to send you money, he isn't entitled nor obligated. As far as the military is concerned you are still married and chose to stay in KY while he went to TX. Since he is married and such he isn't 'authorized' to live on base, thus he has to live off base.

    If you believe he is cheating and want a divorce, then I guess you need to figure out how to do that. He would have to pay for one too, its not free in the military (he can't go to JAG), so either way one of you is going to have to pay for it. Since he sees no valid reason to divorce he probably doesn't see a reason to pay for it. You are suspecting him of cheating and want it to end, so in his eyes, its in your court.

    With out court orders there is nothing you can do. He isn't required to do anything. He's getting BAH based on TX where you and he belong.

    Even with a divorce you won't get anything from him since the child isn't his.

    Thank you..this helped alot. I really don't want anything from him except a divorce. I feel used. He even forged and changed the date of his divorce to his previous wife on our marriage certificate so he wouldn't have to pay money back that he received for being married when he was actually divorced for nearly a year. I'm at the end of my rope and I just want out of this.
  9. Fresh Newbie
    Redheadmomof2's Avatar
    Redheadmomof2 is offline
    Fresh Newbie
    Join Date
    Dec 2011
    Location
    Greenville, TX/Afganistan
    Posts
    14
    #9
    I went through this with my ex husband. You need to look up AR 600-99 it is the family supprt army regulation. He has to give you BAH II W/ Dependent differential. It is an army regulation he has to give you spousal support until you are divorced as long as you are separated in the process of divorce. Look into it, and let him know. When mine cut me off for a couple months after we separated I had to threaten to go to JAG if he didn't start the allotment on his own, but like I said we were in the process of divorce. You may or he may have to provide someone with a copy of divorce paperwork or separation paperwork. Look into it. My ex started it on his own after he talked to his XO & CO.
  10. Senior Member
    skStar21's Avatar
    skStar21 is offline
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    Location
    Italy!!
    Posts
    2,779
    #10
    Quote Originally Posted by Armywife126 View Post
    Thank you..this helped alot. I really don't want anything from him except a divorce. I feel used. He even forged and changed the date of his divorce to his previous wife on our marriage certificate so he wouldn't have to pay money back that he received for being married when he was actually divorced for nearly a year. I'm at the end of my rope and I just want out of this.
    This needs to be reported to the fraud, waste, and abuse hotline.

    Life is a great big canvas, throw all the paint you can at it~ Danny Kaye
Page 1 of 3 123 LastLast

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •