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Thread: Navy Housing

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    #1

    Navy Housing

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    So, me and DF are exactly sure where they'll be stationing him off to, if even on land. But if he does have shore duty and gets stationed somewhere here in the states then I came up with a plan. He's still an E-1, but its lookin that he'll get ranked up to E-2 here soon. well i know that unless you are married or like E-4 i think, that you have to live on base in their barracks. well, in the navys eyes im still a "girlfriend" so i dont exists to them as of right now. bleh. So, here it goes..

    Okay, DF and i are engaged, we are planning the wedding for 2012, sometimes in March or after. Not sure yet.. but since we are planning to get married.. we thought that when he comes home from A-school for 2 weeks in june, that we'd just go down the court house and get married. So then legally we are husband and wife. Could he then get housing OFF base or something and then I could go visit him for a few weeks at a time or somethin. Just until my schooling is done next year cause thats all thats really holding us from getting like married married, with the dress and family and all.. &I can't officially move "out of state" and still be enrolled with my school. (all my classes are online, i haven't set foot in a class room once.)

    His mom and I are really close and she wants me to wait till i get done with the schooling before we get married so that Im not distracted from it. & thats fine, i can respect that and I plan to. Its kinda what everyone wants and i'd have to agree its wise. But one year of not seeing eachother doesn't sounds so magical. So, i kinda came up with that idea...

    any input? ha. advice.
    maybe something i didnt know that I need to know,
    something that makes it where we cant do that?

    Im still new to everything in the military so, yeah.
    If im missin something, tellll me!
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    #2
    IMO even going down to the court house and signing papers is "getting married" From that minute you are husband and wife. Personally I think that trying to plan a wedding and finishing school at the same time would be a lot harder to concentrate and a lot more stressful than getting married (it is over and done with) and then finishing your degree. I also don't understand if you are studying online why you can't move? You don't have actual classes to go to

    To me it sounds like ou have mixed emotions about getting married all together, you want to but are finding excuses of why not to get married and/or live together. If you are only going to see him every few weeks, if would be better for him to just stay in the dorms instead of living offbase JMO


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    #3
    Quote Originally Posted by SandyKay View Post
    IMO even going down to the court house and signing papers is "getting married" From that minute you are husband and wife. Personally I think that trying to plan a wedding and finishing school at the same time would be a lot harder to concentrate and a lot more stressful than getting married (it is over and done with) and then finishing your degree. I also don't understand if you are studying online why you can't move? You don't have actual classes to go to

    To me it sounds like ou have mixed emotions about getting married all together, you want to but are finding excuses of why not to get married and/or live together. If you are only going to see him every few weeks, if would be better for him to just stay in the dorms instead of living offbase JMO
    Im finishing up a few high school credits and going into EMT, so at some point as part of my training I have to do an internship with the EMS out here for a few weeks. Mom and dad have told me that when i get married and move out that I can't come home. Mostly mom.. thats her bargaining chip to try and get me NOT to marry DF. She can't stand him for some reason that no one has yet to figure out. I wanna marry DF, but reason we are waittin is so we can actually have the wedding we want. Thats why we are waittin to do the big ta-da wedding next year so we can have one we both want. I have the wedding planned all out, i just dont have the money to get it. :/ But him and I are gettin there. We'll have it all paid for when the actual date comes. && i meant i'll be doing down there and staying for a few weeks at a time. like 3 or 4 weeks then come home for 3, then leave again. Mom and dad did agree to that.

    I know i could pick up everything and move, but I'd have to start my EMT training over again cause i still haven't taken the national registry test. && i''ve busted my butt for to long and to hard to start over from scratch.. to much money has been invested.

    & its to keep a peace in the family.. things are already rocky as is with mom. Everyone just wants me to wait, and Im just not wanting to disappoint or upset anyone. Thats why we keep the going the court house and getting married a secret and yeah. be done with it..


    But trust me, i wanna marry this man more then anything in the world. I would right now if family and school wasn't holding me here.
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    #4
    Quote Originally Posted by .NavyWife View Post
    So, me and DF are exactly sure where they'll be stationing him off to, if even on land. But if he does have shore duty and gets stationed somewhere here in the states then I came up with a plan. He's still an E-1, but its lookin that he'll get ranked up to E-2 here soon. well i know that unless you are married or like E-4 i think, that you have to live on base in their barracks. well, in the navys eyes im still a "girlfriend" so i dont exists to them as of right now. bleh. So, here it goes..

    Okay, DF and i are engaged, we are planning the wedding for 2012, sometimes in March or after. Not sure yet.. but since we are planning to get married.. we thought that when he comes home from A-school for 2 weeks in june, that we'd just go down the court house and get married. So then legally we are husband and wife. Could he then get housing OFF base or something and then I could go visit him for a few weeks at a time or somethin. Just until my schooling is done next year cause thats all thats really holding us from getting like married married, with the dress and family and all.. &I can't officially move "out of state" and still be enrolled with my school. (all my classes are online, i haven't set foot in a class room once.)

    His mom and I are really close and she wants me to wait till i get done with the schooling before we get married so that Im not distracted from it. & thats fine, i can respect that and I plan to. Its kinda what everyone wants and i'd have to agree its wise. But one year of not seeing eachother doesn't sounds so magical. So, i kinda came up with that idea...

    any input? ha. advice.
    maybe something i didnt know that I need to know,
    something that makes it where we cant do that?

    Im still new to everything in the military so, yeah.
    If im missin something, tellll me!
    Quote Originally Posted by .NavyWife View Post
    Im finishing up a few high school credits and going into EMT, so at some point as part of my training I have to do an internship with the EMS out here for a few weeks. Mom and dad have told me that when i get married and move out that I can't come home. Mostly mom.. thats her bargaining chip to try and get me NOT to marry DF. She can't stand him for some reason that no one has yet to figure out. I wanna marry DF, but reason we are waittin is so we can actually have the wedding we want. Thats why we are waittin to do the big ta-da wedding next year so we can have one we both want. I have the wedding planned all out, i just dont have the money to get it. :/ But him and I are gettin there. We'll have it all paid for when the actual date comes. && i meant i'll be doing down there and staying for a few weeks at a time. like 3 or 4 weeks then come home for 3, then leave again. Mom and dad did agree to that.

    I know i could pick up everything and move, but I'd have to start my EMT training over again cause i still haven't taken the national registry test. && i''ve busted my butt for to long and to hard to start over from scratch.. to much money has been invested.

    & its to keep a peace in the family.. things are already rocky as is with mom. Everyone just wants me to wait, and Im just not wanting to disappoint or upset anyone. Thats why we keep the going the court house and getting married a secret and yeah. be done with it..


    But trust me, i wanna marry this man more then anything in the world. I would right now if family and school wasn't holding me here.
    You are at least 18 (you have to be to be a member of the site), therefor you are an adult. You have to live YOUR life the way YOU want. if that means family drama so be it. I married someone from a different country, dropped everything and moved to be with DH. There were several people in my family (including my nana who I had lived with for 6 1/2 yrs prior to moving and had helped my raise my son) who were not happy with my decision, but the fact is it was my life and I had to learn to be myself and not live the life my family wanted me to live. It took almost 3 yrs for my nan to come around and realize the DH is a good man (I will say she thought he was wonderful till we told her we were engaged), your family may not like, but should at least support your decisions


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    #5
    Quote Originally Posted by SandyKay View Post
    You are at least 18 (you have to be to be a member of the site), therefor you are an adult. You have to live YOUR life the way YOU want. if that means family drama so be it. I married someone from a different country, dropped everything and moved to be with DH. There were several people in my family (including my nana who I had lived with for 6 1/2 yrs prior to moving and had helped my raise my son) who were not happy with my decision, but the fact is it was my life and I had to learn to be myself and not live the life my family wanted me to live. It took almost 3 yrs for my nan to come around and realize the DH is a good man (I will say she thought he was wonderful till we told her we were engaged), your family may not like, but should at least support your decisions

    True, Im 18 and so, im still in the habit of listen to mommy an daddy. But, you have a good point. I still need to finish up my EMT & still need to save for the wedding. Guess a lot of it is the EMT. Something I've worked so hard at that its hard to drop it and start all over from scratch.. :/
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    #6
    Quote Originally Posted by .NavyWife View Post
    True, Im 18 and so, im still in the habit of listen to mommy an daddy. But, you have a good point. I still need to finish up my EMT & still need to save for the wedding. Guess a lot of it is the EMT. Something I've worked so hard at that its hard to drop it and start all over from scratch.. :/
    Then you need to tell your man to suck it up and live in the barracks till you have finished JMO


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    #7
    & its to keep a peace in the family.. things are already rocky as is with mom. Everyone just wants me to wait, and Im just not wanting to disappoint or upset anyone. Thats why we keep the going the court house and getting married a secret and yeah. be done with it..
    I don't think lying to and deceiving your mom will help the relationship!
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    #8
    If you want to go down to the court house and get married thats fine, however keeping your marriage a secret is a very childish approach to starting out your very adult life. There is nothing that says that you can't do this but some commands particularly A-school commands place a lot of restrictions and parameters on the first session sailors. He may actually need to get a waiver approved to be able to get married while in A-School it will just depend on where he going, and what the command has set up. I just left a base that was mostly a training command and housed a few different A- Schools and this was the case there.

    If you are not going to be able to move with your SO when you get married, and there really is no benefit to you all getting married as you all can't live together because of your schooling I do not understand the rush to run to the court house and keep big family secrets.

    When he goes to A-school why does he need to live out of the barracks? I am assuming since your thread title is Navy housing what he wants is to be able to get housing allowance and live out in town? is this correct? It truly is up to the command to allow their sailors to live off base instead of in the barracks. Normally if they are married then they will allow them to not live in the barracks but they could require him to take base housing.

    I am just not sure I understand the rush to go to the court house verses waiting for your already planned 2012 wedding?

    IMHO by waiting till 2012 I see more advantages than disadvantages. You would be able to complete your schooling and EMS internship. You will not have to start your married life off by keeping secrets from your family about not being married. He will be able to focus on A- School and I am assuming that he is younger perhaps 19-21. So he will be living with his fellow sailors on base which has programs and services to provide entertainment and fun for them without having to leave base often, which is where most of these younger sailors run into problems.

    Just my thoughts.
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    #9
    if you get married he can then get BAH as a married member- he can then get an apt -

    as for the rest- STAY IN SCHOOL and finish your EMT training- you will not regret it!!
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    #10
    Quote Originally Posted by Pixi7272 View Post
    If you want to go down to the court house and get married thats fine, however keeping your marriage a secret is a very childish approach to starting out your very adult life. There is nothing that says that you can't do this but some commands particularly A-school commands place a lot of restrictions and parameters on the first session sailors. He may actually need to get a waiver approved to be able to get married while in A-School it will just depend on where he going, and what the command has set up. I just left a base that was mostly a training command and housed a few different A- Schools and this was the case there.

    If you are not going to be able to move with your SO when you get married, and there really is no benefit to you all getting married as you all can't live together because of your schooling I do not understand the rush to run to the court house and keep big family secrets.

    When he goes to A-school why does he need to live out of the barracks? I am assuming since your thread title is Navy housing what he wants is to be able to get housing allowance and live out in town? is this correct? It truly is up to the command to allow their sailors to live off base instead of in the barracks. Normally if they are married then they will allow them to not live in the barracks but they could require him to take base housing.

    I am just not sure I understand the rush to go to the court house verses waiting for your already planned 2012 wedding?

    IMHO by waiting till 2012 I see more advantages than disadvantages. You would be able to complete your schooling and EMS internship. You will not have to start your married life off by keeping secrets from your family about not being married. He will be able to focus on A- School and I am assuming that he is younger perhaps 19-21. So he will be living with his fellow sailors on base which has programs and services to provide entertainment and fun for them without having to leave base often, which is where most of these younger sailors run into problems.

    Just my thoughts.

    He's already in a- school and is going to graduate June 3rd, when he comes home is when we would get just the legal aspect of it. We both dont see it as being married just because we signed a paper. Buy law, we are.. other then that.. in the eyes of the church and God and everyone else. We aren't.
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