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Thread: BAH and bills

  1. i hate iraq
    beachk's Avatar
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    BAH and bills

    Ok, we just got married a little while ago and I'm just trying to figure out how other married couples split up the finances.

    Do you use BAH for your combined bills, even if those bills would consume all of the BAH? For example, if you get $900/month BAH, and bills are like $ you just split the 1200 and you each pay half, or do you use the BAH for 900, and then each pay half of the remaining?

    Maybe this is a misunderstanding, but my husband acted like BAH was because we are married, to cover rent and expenses. But then when doing budgeting he wants to split everything in half and then he can use BAH to cover his portion of expenses, and I'm still responsible for my half. I just don't think that is fair.

    (Also, I've been paying every single bill for the last few months. Every. single. bill.)
  2. Regular Member
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    That's definitely not fair! If you're married, the BAH should cover the expenses before it's split in half.
  3. Senior Member
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    Sounds odd...
    We don't split anything up, our income (when I am working) is combined and our BAH goes to rent and utilities.
  4. Moderator
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    We're a 1-income family right now, so we just pay the bills out of his income. Our BAH doesn't quite cover our rent, all bills are out of pocket.
  5. The Decider
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    Wow, I don't think that is fair at all.

    Did you discuss finances before you were married? What did you decide on?

    I personally am a fan of all income going into one bank account that bills are paid out of, and then having a monthly/weekly allowance for the two of us.
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  6. Just your everyday, laidback Aussie Girl
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    All our income goes into 1 account and come out of 1 account. There is mo your bill, my bill. We are married, we are a couple, everything is ours, not yours and mine

  7. Feelin' fly like a Cheesestick
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    IMO this depends on a LOT of things. Personally, I prefer to share income and expenses 100%. When I WAS working full time before kids, I made MUCH less than my (ex)husband. It wasn't "his money" and "my money." It was OUR money. My DH and I do the same thing (good thing since I stay home with the kids and don't HAVE an income!).

    As for the BAH being applied and then splitting the rent--I always just lump my DH's BAH into his total income. But, then again, we never split the bills. I think the most fair way to do it would be to split the bills proportionate to each of your incomes.

    For example, if he makes $3000/month including BAH and everything else and you make $1000/month, the total income is $4000. He makes 75% of the total income, you make 25% of the total income. He should pay 75% of the bills, you should pay 25%. Of course you're going to have proportionately less spending money leftover too.

    Honestly I don't really understand why married couples keep their finances so separate when clearly there are many shared expenses.

    ETA: In the state of WA, this is how child support and things like that are figured... when my kids were in daycare, it was also split that way. He made 3x my income, so he was responsible for about 75% of the daycare expenses and I was responsible for about 25%.
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    What are you guys...roommates??

    BAH=Basic Allowance for Housing. It is money that is given on top of his regular pay to provide a place to live. Granted in some cases, living out in town it doesn't always cover the entire rent/mortgage, but it at least covers a good portion.

    Your husband does realize that the reason he is getting a higher amount of BAH or (if he is lower ranking) BAH at all, it is due to the fact that he is married to you, and has to provide a place to live that is not a barracks room.

    It sounds to me like you guys need to sit down and have a heart to heart about what it means to be married, and how bills get paid.

    If that doesn't work, financial counseling will put him in the right direction.
  9. Regular Member
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    We have a joint account that all our income goes into. I honestly have no idea whose money goes to what bills. We just pay them as they come in.

    Doesn't seem fair that he wants to split it up like that, but I mean, I don't really know the situation either. Have you tried to talk to him? What's his reasoning behind all this?
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    Quote Originally Posted by SandyKay View Post
    All our income goes into 1 account and come out of 1 account. There is no your bill, my bill. We are married, we are a couple, everything is ours, not yours and mine
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