Asking for a Friend - not sure if this is the right forum

[jjandpcb]

My friend was divorced last year - her XH was 20 years Marine, retired. They were married 7 years. He still has tricare benefits/commissary/base etc...

Now...since she has primary physical custody of the kids wouldn't the kids still be entitled to commisary and PX benefits even though he's retired? He told her that there's nothing and had the cops come to confiscate her military ID.

I'm going thru a divorce with an asshat army soldier (TY 11 years of marriage!) and I know I will have an ID showing I'm primary caregiver and gardian of our 3 kids and that my boys (5 and 4) will need to get ID's. My DD already has one but I know I will still be able to go on post and shop at the commissary and the PX if I need to.


I imagine she should have the same rights? I think he's trying to screw her over and not telling her she can get these benefits.


does anyone know what she's entitled to after divorce if she has primary custody of his 3 kids?

[villanelle]

Could the difference be that your STBXH is still in, so his kids still gets dependents privileges, but since her Ex is retired, his kids don't?

I was an adult by the time my dad got out, so I'm not sure, but since no one else had answered just, I thought I would suggest that might be it.

[beachgirl]

I am not really sure how that works. But I did want to say that I was informed at my dh base that you have to be 10 to sponsor someone. So commissary, nex, ect...My 2 kids with exdh have id cards for medical and dental but they are not allowed to sponsor me on base. I am remarried to military so its not really a problem but I had never heard that before. But one day we were going onto the base to the NEX and I showed my sons ID and they said he couldnt sponsor me because he wasnt 10 yet. I carry a HUGE purse and my ID was at the bottom of course

[LoveDisappears]

[Southern-momma]

I think she needs to call the closest base legal to get the best most proper information about this.

[SenseOfHumor]

As long as his kids are biologically his, then yes, even though he is retired, he still have to give them their benefits.

The wife, however, will not get the benefits because they have not been married for 10+ years.

And don't call base legal, call the local PSD... they issue the ID cards, not the LNs.

[Southern-momma]

Originally Posted by SenseOfHumor As long as his kids are biologically his, then yes, even though he is retired, he still have to give them their benefits. The wife, however, will not get the benefits because they have not been married for 10+ years. And don't call base legal, call the local PSD... they issue the ID cards, not the LNs.

Yeah I was thinking to call them to find out what she is entitled to legally. But if Id people will know call them.

[jjandpcb]

Thanks for the reply gals. Now, one last question...

Since X and I were married 11 years (5 weeks before it'll be 12 unless he signs the frigging papers already) does that mean I could still get benefits. Thing is, he's only been in the Army for 1.5 years. We were civillians till last year. as far as i understand he would have had to been in the military the whole time we were married but thought I'd double check.

the kids are all his, I know he was in the Guard too after his 20 years were up - for another 4 I think (my friend). I think they were married 8 years. I have to double check.

[Southern-momma]

Originally Posted by jjandpcb Thanks for the reply gals. Now, one last question... Since X and I were married 11 years (5 weeks before it'll be 12 unless he signs the frigging papers already) does that mean I could still get benefits. Thing is, he's only been in the Army for 1.5 years. We were civillians till last year. as far as i understand he would have had to been in the military the whole time we were married but thought I'd double check. the kids are all his, I know he was in the Guard too after his 20 years were up - for another 4 I think (my friend). I think they were married 8 years. I have to double check.

She is not entitled to anything as the former spouse because they were not married long enough. The kids, if it goes for retired the same as active duty, are eligible for some benefits until 21 (iirc).

For you I don't think you are eligible for anything other than basic benefits for your kids with him while he is in.

[eelo]

Originally Posted by jjandpcb Thanks for the reply gals. Now, one last question... Since X and I were married 11 years (5 weeks before it'll be 12 unless he signs the frigging papers already) does that mean I could still get benefits. Thing is, he's only been in the Army for 1.5 years. We were civillians till last year. as far as i understand he would have had to been in the military the whole time we were married but thought I'd double check. the kids are all his, I know he was in the Guard too after his 20 years were up - for another 4 I think (my friend). I think they were married 8 years. I have to double check.

You could, or you could not. Divorce is a legal matter, not a military matter. There are laws covering what you may or may not be entitled to, but it's all about the terms of the divorce and what the laws are in your state. You really need to speak to a lawyer about this.