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Thread: Question about children...

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    #1

    Question about children...

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    I have a question: DB and I aren't married, but we are planning to have a baby. He's been wanting to have a baby with me for over a year, but I've only just agreed a few months back... anyway we are planning to start trying again when he goes back home for R&R and definitely after his deployment (if I am not already)...

    My main concern is if we aren't married when I have the baby-- will the baby be eligible as his dependent? Would s/he get benefits or is that only if I marry him? How would all of this work?
    PROUD MARINE WIFE.
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    #2
    WHy not wait until you two are married? You are only 18 if I remember correctly, so why the rush?
    An unconditional right to say what one pleases about public affairs is what I consider to be the minimum guarantee of the First Amendment.
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    #3
    I have several reservations about marriage, which do not reflect my personal feelings for my man, but rather the whole institution itself. We've talked about marriage before, but I've always been eeh on the institution of marriage and I don't think it's strictly necessary to have in every relationship.

    As for having the baby now-- We've been seriously discussing it for a year now. DB has been bringing it up for about two years but two years ago it wasn't even a question for me... I was still in HS.
    PROUD MARINE WIFE.
  4. and still I think of you
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    #4
    Once the baby is born, he/she would be covered. Not during the pregnancy though.
  5. Missin' my baby girl
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    #5
    You will not be eligible for tricare while you are pregnant. Once you have the baby and put your db's name on the certificate then he has to submit that to deers, the baby will have all the health benefits of tricare, you do not have to be married for your baby to be claimed as a dependent by him. Once you get pregnant and are in your third trimester you might want him to contact deers to see what paperwork he needs filled out to submit for right after the birth. good luck.
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    #6
    Quote Originally Posted by The Messenger View Post
    I have several reservations about marriage, which do not reflect my personal feelings for my man, but rather the whole institution itself. We've talked about marriage before, but I've always been eeh on the institution of marriage and I don't think it's strictly necessary to have in every relationship.

    As for having the baby now-- We've been seriously discussing it for a year now. DB has been bringing it up for about two years but two years ago it wasn't even a question for me... I was still in HS.
    You do know that as long as you are not married you will have no legal standing with the military, you will not be able to live on base and should he get stationed overseas it would be very difficult or even impossible for you to go with him?
    An unconditional right to say what one pleases about public affairs is what I consider to be the minimum guarantee of the First Amendment.
  7. MilitarySOS Jewel
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    #7
    Everything they said. Also, since the baby was not born while parents are married, he will have to fill out a paternity form. Something like you get in the court house but deers has them too. It just says that he acknowledges being the father. You both sign and they usually have a notary there. This is so that he can't later try to take it back.
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    #8
    Why not get married? i don't understand about the "institution of marriage" thing. For me marriage to my husband was the ultimate act of love and commitment to him. I want to be there for him in the way that no other woman can, physically, mentally and everything in between. If you already have those things which i would assume you do considering that you want to have children with him, why not get married just for the benefits? pregnancy is really expensive and i would think more seriously about the cost of growing a healthy baby than having one just because you want to.
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    #9
    also you are very young, i know people have probably already said this to you but i would wait a few years, until he can be there for you more permenantly. you only get to be young once so have fun with it.
  10. The Future "Pothead"
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    #10
    I agree with the ladies. This doesn't sound like an incredibly mature decision.

    How old is your DB?

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