Have a few questions... - Page 3 - Military Benefits

PrincessBlue505 · 06-08-2006, 02:42 PM

Something to know-Adultry only matters in divorce/child custody cases in states that are a "fault" state, a state I guess that attaches who is to blame in the failure of the marriage. I know CA is a "no-fault" state, so it doesn't matter if one partner committed adultry-they won't consider that fact in anything. DH's mom committed adultry and ended up with the kids AND alimony with her child support in the divorce. BTW, she got the kids and hadn't worked in 20 years and didn't have a job at the time of divorce. So u need to find out the policies of ur state....

Sarah · 06-08-2006, 02:51 PM

I really don't know what to say. I do know that no matter how hard he fights for custody, he won't get it. He is in the Navy, so that right there will show that he will not always be home with him. The would only give him custody if it was proven that you are an unfit mother, which I doubt that would even come into play. Also, like Jo mentioned, save all the conversations he has had with these women. You could get him on adultry if you have the proof. I am sorry you have to go through all of this. You are doing the right thing, and that SOB will suffer the consequences.

PrincessMia · 06-08-2006, 02:52 PM

Originally Posted by Donna

If you file in CA, adultery wont come into play. Its a no fault state.

I just learned last night in Family Law that even though a state may be no-fault, you can still claim that he did commit adultry. You can use fault any time in a no-fault state under certain guideline, such as adultry, mental illness, etc.

Rach · 06-08-2006, 04:08 PM

WA takes 3 months for a divorce to be finalized.

And you can file there b/c he has been living there, right? You don't have to be. Just as long as one of you has been for at least 6 months, I think.

Amanda · 06-08-2006, 04:44 PM

as far as "no fault states" take it from me there is NOTHING proving adultry will do you. I had a friend who was MISERABLE with his wife and had an emotional affair on the side...the wife had pictures, hotel stubs, everything and her lawyer told her nothing she could do about it because of the no fault even in the custody hearing. Also he could only take those kids IF he could prove you are unfit and unless he can proof neglect or abuse he's screwed. I wouldn't worry hun he'll have to answer to someone in the end of what he's done to you so don't worry about that.

I hope you can get what you want he sounds like a real scumbag

footstepswife · 06-08-2006, 05:47 PM

good luck sweetie!!!

06-08-2006, 02:42 PM	#21 (permalink)
PrincessBlue505 Loving being a MOMMY!!! Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Hawaii Posts: 5,059 Classifieds: (0) Activity: 47% Longevity: 66%	Something to know-Adultry only matters in divorce/child custody cases in states that are a "fault" state, a state I guess that attaches who is to blame in the failure of the marriage. I know CA is a "no-fault" state, so it doesn't matter if one partner committed adultry-they won't consider that fact in anything. DH's mom committed adultry and ended up with the kids AND alimony with her child support in the divorce. BTW, she got the kids and hadn't worked in 20 years and didn't have a job at the time of divorce. So u need to find out the policies of ur state.... __________________

06-08-2006, 04:44 PM	#25 (permalink)
Amanda MilitarySOS Jewel Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: Cedar Rapids, Iowa Posts: 11,880 Classifieds: (0) Activity: 0% Longevity: 98%	as far as "no fault states" take it from me there is NOTHING proving adultry will do you. I had a friend who was MISERABLE with his wife and had an emotional affair on the side...the wife had pictures, hotel stubs, everything and her lawyer told her nothing she could do about it because of the no fault even in the custody hearing. Also he could only take those kids IF he could prove you are unfit and unless he can proof neglect or abuse he's screwed. I wouldn't worry hun he'll have to answer to someone in the end of what he's done to you so don't worry about that. I hope you can get what you want he sounds like a real scumbag __________________ I never thought I'd say this...it is time for me to leave

06-08-2006, 05:47 PM	#26 (permalink)
footstepswife my AOC truly makes me happy Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Highland Park, IL Posts: 8,785 Classifieds: (0) Activity: 0% Longevity: 64%	good luck sweetie!!! __________________

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06-08-2006, 02:51 PM	#22 (permalink)
Sarah I'm too cool for words Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Camp Lejeune, NC Posts: 18,585 Classifieds: (0) Activity: 0% Longevity: 94%	I really don't know what to say. I do know that no matter how hard he fights for custody, he won't get it. He is in the Navy, so that right there will show that he will not always be home with him. The would only give him custody if it was proven that you are an unfit mother, which I doubt that would even come into play. Also, like Jo mentioned, save all the conversations he has had with these women. You could get him on adultry if you have the proof. I am sorry you have to go through all of this. You are doing the right thing, and that SOB will suffer the consequences.

06-08-2006, 04:08 PM	#24 (permalink)
Rach Account Closed Join Date: Jul 2004 Posts: 23,957 Classifieds: (5) Activity: 0% Longevity: 91%	WA takes 3 months for a divorce to be finalized. And you can file there b/c he has been living there, right? You don't have to be. Just as long as one of you has been for at least 6 months, I think.