Could someone explain the FRG to me - Military Activism & Advocacy

Helicopterz · 05-08-2009, 08:40 AM

I'm starting to get a little freaked out by the idea of the FRG. My boyfriend and I have been together for one year and when he comes home from deployment we plan to live together. We aren't married so I haven't been to an FRG meeting yet but most of the couples we hang out with are married.

One thing that has been brought up over and over again is that when he makes commander I'm expected to run the FRG (assuming we're married at that point). He says its voluntary and that if I don't want to do it I don't have to but all of the wives have said that it can effect his career if I don't.

Who is correct?

Also, without trying to be rude, most of the women I've met through army events haven't been my "type" of person. Its not that they aren't wonderful and nice but their expectations of life and ways of thinking tend to be completely foreign to my own. I'm afraid that if I am running an FRG this would be a problem. My SIL, she's ex-army, told me that half the time people just hand it over to the sergeants' wives but since my bro is either a SFC or a 1SG (I can never remember) I'm gunna take that with a grain of salt.

It won't be an issue for about two years but any clarification would help me now.

Another question is the OWC. When I was talking to my bf about making friends after moving he mentioned that it was an option. Is it only for wives or is it open to significant others? Is it only for people attached to officers or is it enlisted too (cause the name sounds a little...snobby)? Any suggestions for making buddies in Ft. Hood?

I'm Boom · 05-08-2009, 10:16 AM

I am still pretty new to the whole Army thing but I believe you husband is more right. The commander's wife only had anything to do with running one of our FRG meetings. They asked for volunteers to take positions and now she's like treasurer or something so that she still shows her face but doesn't actually plan and organize. I wouldn't let it get to you.

*MarineBug* · 05-08-2009, 10:20 AM

If it wont be an issue for two years I really wouldn't worry about it. A lot can change in that time. Even you. You may end up liking the wives in his unit more and more at that time. Its much better not to take an FRG position though unless you are 100% dedicated and really willing to do it. An FRG leader is such a key person and so important. If you re not connecting with people they will know. Again, its quite some time down the road.

OH and the OWC is not snobby. Its a great resource and place for many woman. I am almost positive you have to be a wife though.

Devonmomto6angel · 05-08-2009, 04:13 PM

I dont believe you would head the FRG if you are just his GF, GF's are pretty invisible in the army. But the commanders wife isnt always the head, the commander back at Sill was a single female so she didnt have a wife to head the FRG, i believe she did it her self.

Helicopterz · 05-09-2009, 10:24 AM

Originally Posted by Devonmomto6angel

I dont believe you would head the FRG if you are just his GF, GF's are pretty invisible in the army. But the commanders wife isnt always the head, the commander back at Sill was a single female so she didnt have a wife to head the FRG, i believe she did it her self.

Hehe, I'm not worried about doing while still a GF. Its the nebulous and undefined (okay, he hasn't proposed yet!) future that I worry about.

Thanks ya'll. My main question was answered so I really appreciate it.

Amanda. · 05-09-2009, 01:14 PM

how about you worry about that when he does propose? rather than anaylzing everything and getting all stressed out about something that may not happen.?

BJo · 05-09-2009, 01:16 PM

Originally Posted by Amanda.

how about you worry about that when he does propose? rather than anaylzing everything and getting all stressed out about something that may not happen.?

megandjon · 05-09-2009, 08:58 PM

The FRG basically is to make certain that the spouses and family members of the soldiers are up to date on all of the important information and the goings on. Some as you know live out of range of the meetings and they make certain that those who do still have everything they need. You can go to www.armyfrg.com and it can explain the army side to you. I am not sure which branch you are in but the vFRG might answer some questions you might have. As for the FRG leader, it is whoever is comfortable leading. It can be anyone who is either a commanders wife, or a Privates Wife. You go through training to learn everything you need to know. You are never forced into doing something you do not wish to do. It is strictly volunteer, so do not stress right now. Give it time, if and when the time comes if you want the position express the interest. Never be afraid of saying No.. Believe me, it can get you into trouble if you don't know how to say no as a military spouse!

05-08-2009, 08:40 AM	#1 (permalink)
Helicopterz Senior Member Join Date: May 2009 Location: Austin/Fort Hood Posts: 109 Classifieds: (0) Activity: 1% Longevity: 9%	Could someone explain the FRG to me I'm starting to get a little freaked out by the idea of the FRG. My boyfriend and I have been together for one year and when he comes home from deployment we plan to live together. We aren't married so I haven't been to an FRG meeting yet but most of the couples we hang out with are married. One thing that has been brought up over and over again is that when he makes commander I'm expected to run the FRG (assuming we're married at that point). He says its voluntary and that if I don't want to do it I don't have to but all of the wives have said that it can effect his career if I don't. Who is correct? Also, without trying to be rude, most of the women I've met through army events haven't been my "type" of person. Its not that they aren't wonderful and nice but their expectations of life and ways of thinking tend to be completely foreign to my own. I'm afraid that if I am running an FRG this would be a problem. My SIL, she's ex-army, told me that half the time people just hand it over to the sergeants' wives but since my bro is either a SFC or a 1SG (I can never remember) I'm gunna take that with a grain of salt. It won't be an issue for about two years but any clarification would help me now. Another question is the OWC. When I was talking to my bf about making friends after moving he mentioned that it was an option. Is it only for wives or is it open to significant others? Is it only for people attached to officers or is it enlisted too (cause the name sounds a little...snobby)? Any suggestions for making buddies in Ft. Hood?

05-08-2009, 10:20 AM	#3 (permalink)
MarineBug KYLEY Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: Me:SoCal DH:Afghanistan Stationed:Camp Pendleton Posts: 16,107 Blog Entries: 2 Classifieds: (12) Activity: 48% Longevity: 34%	If it wont be an issue for two years I really wouldn't worry about it. A lot can change in that time. Even you. You may end up liking the wives in his unit more and more at that time. Its much better not to take an FRG position though unless you are 100% dedicated and really willing to do it. An FRG leader is such a key person and so important. If you re not connecting with people they will know. Again, its quite some time down the road. OH and the OWC is not snobby. Its a great resource and place for many woman. I am almost positive you have to be a wife though. __________________ Welcome Home

05-08-2009, 04:13 PM	#4 (permalink)
Devonmomto6angel Member Join Date: Jan 2009 Posts: 2,792 Classifieds: (0) Activity: 1% Longevity: 14%	I dont believe you would head the FRG if you are just his GF, GF's are pretty invisible in the army. But the commanders wife isnt always the head, the commander back at Sill was a single female so she didnt have a wife to head the FRG, i believe she did it her self. __________________

05-09-2009, 08:58 PM	#8 (permalink)
megandjon I KNOW MY NAME!! You can ask me... If you forget... Join Date: May 2009 Location: Me - Ft Carson, CO / DH - Afghanistan Posts: 53 Classifieds: (0) Activity: 0% Longevity: 9%	The FRG basically is to make certain that the spouses and family members of the soldiers are up to date on all of the important information and the goings on. Some as you know live out of range of the meetings and they make certain that those who do still have everything they need. You can go to www.armyfrg.com and it can explain the army side to you. I am not sure which branch you are in but the vFRG might answer some questions you might have. As for the FRG leader, it is whoever is comfortable leading. It can be anyone who is either a commanders wife, or a Privates Wife. You go through training to learn everything you need to know. You are never forced into doing something you do not wish to do. It is strictly volunteer, so do not stress right now. Give it time, if and when the time comes if you want the position express the interest. Never be afraid of saying No.. Believe me, it can get you into trouble if you don't know how to say no as a military spouse! __________________

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05-08-2009, 10:16 AM	#2 (permalink)
I'm Boom Account Closed Join Date: Oct 2008 Posts: 3,303 Classifieds: (0) Activity: 25% Longevity: 18%	I am still pretty new to the whole Army thing but I believe you husband is more right. The commander's wife only had anything to do with running one of our FRG meetings. They asked for volunteers to take positions and now she's like treasurer or something so that she still shows her face but doesn't actually plan and organize. I wouldn't let it get to you.

05-09-2009, 01:14 PM	#6 (permalink)
Amanda. Account Closed Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: Fort Benning, GA Posts: 6,685 Blog Entries: 23 Classifieds: (0) Activity: 46% Longevity: 31%	how about you worry about that when he does propose? rather than anaylzing everything and getting all stressed out about something that may not happen.?