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Thread: LoveMikeyBear

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    LoveMikeyBear

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    Quote Originally Posted by LoveMikeyBear View Post
    I'm sure you'll get there!


    I was a horrible at snacking on beagle bites, cookies(oreos), and fast food! I was also a boredom eater still kinda am. I put money into savings that I'd normally spend on fast food so "I don't have the money to spend on it" Lol Then once I got in the habit of eating less and healthier it just comes easy now to not snack on the stuff as much.

    I also had to do it for myself I mean I was so miserable being where I was.The caffeine from the sodas, and all that stuff I was eating sucked the life right out of me. I got winded just doing a few loads of laundry, and could barely keep up with DD. Then when I went to the doctor my blood pressure was threw the roof, and I'm not even 23yet. So I had the mind set that "It's life or death" because it was doing a number on my body eating all that junk. I've almost died before (not really health related it was due to psychical trauma ) and knowing what that actually feels like to be at deaths door was enough to scare me into dieting... I choose being healthy for ME and my family DD needs her mommy. I've struggled with my weight and my "self image" for YEARS even had one of my aunts tell me I was "chunky and needed to loose some weight" at the age of 12? ish... I finally have the mind set to make myself healthy without over or under eating. (I've done both...)
    It makes me angry at myself that I WAS on deaths door due to my health and yet I STILL cannot get this under control. The ONLY thing I can think of to attribute my cancer with is my weight. AND not to mention that a healthy diet and exercise will GREATLY reduce the risk of cancer recurrence (amongst a plethora of other things.) It's like What the Heck!?! What is my problem!? I'm basically sitting here giving myself cancer again. It makes me pissed at myself and yet I keep doing it. I eat healthy for two days and then I'm into crap again. I work out for a week and take 3 off. Why the hell does that not scare me enough to do things right? What other lessons do I have to learn to get it right???



    Sorry, you just found the right words to bring out my frustration. haha But it's probably a good thing in the long run.
  2. Don't ever settle for less than you deserve.
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    #2
    I'm not quiet sure what to say I wish I did though! I wish I could say I knew some magically answer it just kinda clicked for me that I was sick of being so miserable. Well really it hit hard last year I was out with DD, and I got so winded from pushing myself to keep going I literally hit the ground. It was just me and DD too DH was deployed, and it hit me "what would happen if I dropped dead right now." I am programmed to think about DD too so I'm not just doing it for me I'm also doing it for her. Her little life would become hell with all the people around her fighting if I died.... (Long story short DH isn't the birth father, doesn't have custody, birth father is who knows where since he's homeless.... Then I see DD ending up in foster care or something while her loved ones rip each other apart trying to get custody over her. So that mixed with me being TERRIFIED of death, and knowing heart issues and diabetes run in my family. That has been enough to snap me into I need to change. As I said though it didn't come till I had a very real wake up call.

    I've thought about nothing but Cheeseburgers from Five Guys, resses cups, and ice cream the past few days! I think aunt flow is about to show her ugly head. I DID go off track big time in January then I had an OB/GYN appointment, and they took my blood pressure. My systolic number was over 150(closer to 160), and I hadn't been doing anything but walking before they took it. The nurse was shocked when I told her I hadn't been doing anything to exert myself prior, but when she took it an hour later it was back down to 135. Still not knowing my heart was working that hard for no good reason made me really scarred to go to sleep that night.


    I really do wish I had some advice, but I'm more then willing to listen!
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    #3
    Thanks. Just having someone to listen does help.

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