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Thread: HOPE

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    #1

    HOPE

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    I thought you were feeling better though?
  2. La vie boheme
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    #2
    Quote Originally Posted by devilwhiterose View Post
    I thought you were feeling better though?
    In general? happiness wise?

    Let us not love with words or speech but with actions and in truth. - 1 John 3:18
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    #3
    Ya...since you got your happy meds? I thought everything was better?
  4. La vie boheme
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    #4
    I'm on one of the highest doses possible and I still don't feel like they are working. I think it was a placebo effect.

    I'm on so many different meds right now that my cycles are once again screwed up, I stay dizzy, and I have crying spells on and off. But if I don't take them it's worse.


    I truly just want to crawl under the covers and stay there for the next seven months. I have lost so much weight from where I just don't want to eat. I am a failure as a mom...I can never spend enough time with him and it's not worth it to me anymore. You are such a stronger person than I am and I wish I could be more like you I really truly do.

    It's just I've started pushing family away, I've started pushing my husband away, and now my job. My job is worried because apparently with the text I sent last night they think I'm suicidal. Do I think I ever would hurt myself? No because I love Christian too much but I can't deny I've thought about it...but it's a stupid thought because it's a permanent answer to just a temporary solution.

    I am so miserable I don't know what to do anymore....I'm becoming mean to everyone just because I am trying to push people away and that's not me, I'm a sweet loving person. but I just feel numb and like I don't care.

    Let us not love with words or speech but with actions and in truth. - 1 John 3:18
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    #5
    Quote Originally Posted by Hope. View Post
    I'm on one of the highest doses possible and I still don't feel like they are working. I think it was a placebo effect.

    I'm on so many different meds right now that my cycles are once again screwed up, I stay dizzy, and I have crying spells on and off. But if I don't take them it's worse.


    I truly just want to crawl under the covers and stay there for the next seven months. I have lost so much weight from where I just don't want to eat. I am a failure as a mom...I can never spend enough time with him and it's not worth it to me anymore. You are such a stronger person than I am and I wish I could be more like you I really truly do.

    It's just I've started pushing family away, I've started pushing my husband away, and now my job. My job is worried because apparently with the text I sent last night they think I'm suicidal. Do I think I ever would hurt myself? No because I love Christian too much but I can't deny I've thought about it...but it's a stupid thought because it's a permanent answer to just a temporary solution.

    I am so miserable I don't know what to do anymore....I'm becoming mean to everyone just because I am trying to push people away and that's not me, I'm a sweet loving person. but I just feel numb and like I don't care.
    I know you can afford to do this, but why not just look for a part-time job. You would have more time with Christian when you get home, and you would enjoy your evenings alot more. You can't do it all. Hannah needs lovin too. You're not a failure as a mom, you're just burned out. And you can't be good for everyone if you don't take care of yourself first.

    We all have our days. And believe me, I've had a fair share of mine. You don't want to be entirely like me. I have NO time for myself. I just cope with it a little easier than you do since I'm used to fending for myself for so many years.

    I think you need to get off of the meds. Or try a different kind. And I would not go to the place you work for help. People would develop misconceptions about you...stay away from work for counseling/assistance.

    It seems like the job is overwhelming. And I probably won't be the first to say it but you've changed alot since you started. Since the honeymoon of work as worn off, you're not happy.
  6. La vie boheme
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    #6
    Quote Originally Posted by devilwhiterose View Post
    I know you can afford to do this, but why not just look for a part-time job. You would have more time with Christian when you get home, and you would enjoy your evenings alot more. You can't do it all. Hannah needs lovin too. You're not a failure as a mom, you're just burned out. And you can't be good for everyone if you don't take care of yourself first.

    We all have our days. And believe me, I've had a fair share of mine. You don't want to be entirely like me. I have NO time for myself. I just cope with it a little easier than you do since I'm used to fending for myself for so many years.

    I think you need to get off of the meds. Or try a different kind. And I would not go to the place you work for help. People would develop misconceptions about you...stay away from work for counseling/assistance.

    It seems like the job is overwhelming. And I probably won't be the first to say it but you've changed alot since you started. Since the honeymoon of work as worn off, you're not happy.
    Yeah and I'm becoming a bitch, lol.

    See that's another thing, I was seeing a counselor but when I got my job I no longer had time to see her anymore so my only option was where I work but I feel uncomfortable spilling personal stuff to them, it's all on file and I don't want that stuff known about me.

    I would absolutely love a part-time job to be honest...if I could find something that works with Christian's school schedule... who knows? *sigh* I mean honestly I would have to quit my job when Justin get's back anyways because we'll be moving.

    Let us not love with words or speech but with actions and in truth. - 1 John 3:18
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    #7
    Quote Originally Posted by Hope. View Post
    Yeah and I'm becoming a *****, lol.

    See that's another thing, I was seeing a counselor but when I got my job I no longer had time to see her anymore so my only option was where I work but I feel uncomfortable spilling personal stuff to them, it's all on file and I don't want that stuff known about me.

    I would absolutely love a part-time job to be honest...if I could find something that works with Christian's school schedule... who knows? *sigh* I mean honestly I would have to quit my job when Justin get's back anyways because we'll be moving.
    So why not look into a place like Target/Kmart/Walmart? If you could work with Christian's schedule, you'd be saving money because you wouldn't have to go to daycare to pick him up. You're not happy. And with everything going on, I don't think working in a Mental Health clinic is a good thing for you.
  8. La vie boheme
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    #8
    Quote Originally Posted by devilwhiterose View Post
    So why not look into a place like Target/Kmart/Walmart? If you could work with Christian's schedule, you'd be saving money because you wouldn't have to go to daycare to pick him up. You're not happy. And with everything going on, I don't think working in a Mental Health clinic is a good thing for you.
    I just know places like that require weekend work and night work and that's just not possible for me.


    There are a lot of listings for part-time office work though. I think I could handle a few hours a day and you're right working in mental health (as much as I freaking love it) it depressing me. We had a patient commit suicide last week and I see people crying all the time and with my situation, it's just getting to me.

    Let us not love with words or speech but with actions and in truth. - 1 John 3:18
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    #9
    Quote Originally Posted by Hope. View Post
    I just know places like that require weekend work and night work and that's just not possible for me.


    There are a lot of listings for part-time office work though. I think I could handle a few hours a day and you're right working in mental health (as much as I freaking love it) it depressing me. We had a patient commit suicide last week and I see people crying all the time and with my situation, it's just getting to me.
    With everything going on in your life right now, you're not stable enough to work in Mental Health. And I don't mean that in a bad way, you know that. You could do part-time office stuff. Just not at a damn shrink's office. It is depressing you. And you have become pill happy because of it.

    Not all places like Target require that. You can do weekdays in the morning or whatever. Do you want me to look at your resume?

    If you worked less, you would be alot more happy, and NOT AT SALARY. You'd have more time with Christian and Hannah, more time for yourself... You can't do it all. Start looking for a new job.
  10. La vie boheme
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    #10
    Quote Originally Posted by devilwhiterose View Post
    With everything going on in your life right now, you're not stable enough to work in Mental Health. And I don't mean that in a bad way, you know that. You could do part-time office stuff. Just not at a damn shrink's office. It is depressing you. And you have become pill happy because of it. Wow, I didn't think anyone had noticed that.

    Not all places like Target require that. You can do weekdays in the morning or whatever. Do you want me to look at your resume?

    If you worked less, you would be alot more happy, and NOT AT SALARY. You'd have more time with Christian and Hannah, more time for yourself... You can't do it all. Start looking for a new job.

    Amen to that and you're exactly right, you always are.


    I just don't know how to tell Justin, he doesn't believe in things like depression, etc,... He's going to be furious at me and I feel lately he's always mad at me which is making me angry at him and it's starting to hurt our marriage.

    Let us not love with words or speech but with actions and in truth. - 1 John 3:18
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