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Thread: Help please

  1. Senior Member
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    #1

    Help Help please

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    I hope this is ok to post this here. None of the other forums seemed to fit.
    My husband just got home from a year long stint in Korea and I am having the hardest time adjusting and I don't know what to do. I sometimes question whether I want to be married anymore. It's awful! I am so confused and miserable. I know that married life isn't always supposed to be happy, but I know it's not supposed to be like this. If you were to ask me specifically what is wrong, I don't think I could tell you. It's almost as if... "it's" just not there anymore. On top of that there is the usual learning to live together again and the stress of our upcoming move. I feel horrible for even thinking these things, but it's as if I can't control it. Does anyone have any advice or has anyone experienced this after a homecoming?
  2. Donah1010
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    I go through similar feelings with my boyfriend. It's not another country, but he is on his second year long mobilization away from me. The distance is really hard, you find yourself having problems coming up with conversation when you're together or on the phone. Plus you barely talk as is.

    All I have to say is have faith. Faith in your love, faith in your relationship. It's a big adjustment for him as well. He's had to cut himself off emotionally while he's been gone so that it won't drive him crazy with depression. It's a hard switching gears after both of you have gotten used to life without each other and have formed routines. He's disoriented with his emotions, loss of friendship and comradery from leaving his prior station, and unsure of his new job responsibilities (regardless if he's returning to his same station as prior) and how to adapt. Again, you both need time to adjust. Try to slowly organize activities that you both like to reintegrate yourselves. Try not to argue or fight about the little things. Just continue to love him and all will get better. - Donna
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    #3
    sorry youre feeling this way, but i would just try to stick it out some more. just like good times come n go, so do bad times. He just got back from being in another country, without you, for a year! thats tough. its gonna take a lot of patience and readjustment for the both of you. He just got back and youre worrying about an upcoming move...that right there is stressful. im sure after yall move and get settled, things will slowly but surely go back to "normal" for the both of you.
  4. As life is eternal, love is immortal.
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    #4
    I'm sorry you are feeling this way. I think you really need to go talk to someone and talk to him about it. These things aren't easy but you can get through it. Good luck and best wishes.
    Siggy under construction!!!
  5. smerf
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    just hold on a bit and maybe things will get better..it seems like the falling out of love thingy..i felt that way when dh was deployed but when i really thought about it..i do..love him..hmm..things take time i guess..especially with being away for so long..have u tried talking to him about it?
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    #6
    I know it's hard. Just hang in there hon and you will make it.
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    #7
    I tried talking with him about it, but all he can say is "Aww, baby, I'm sorry." Which totally devalues my feelings. Not to mention, he was a total jerk the first day he came home.
    I appreciate your advice and it's nice to know I'm not alone. I think that we'll get some marriage counseling after the move. I'll wait it out until then.
  8. TualaBear
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    #8
    Sorry you're going through this sweetie I don't really have much advice but think counseling is a great advice!
    Freedom & Tina Our Blog: http://thebaptistas.blogspot.com/
    "To disagree with me is your human right. To argue with me just because you think you are right and want to see me wrong makes you legally retarded."

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