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Thread: Help!!!

  1. ARMYCOMBATWIFE8
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    Confused Help!!!

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    my husband is the type that doesnt so anything like u look beatiful today or that really looks good..... it kinda sinks my self esteem what should i do about? Or how do i get him to say stuff like that? and another thing he doesnt make desions he wants me to make them all how do i get him to tstep up to the plate????
  2. Turtle2_6
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    I had the same problem with my SO when we were first going out. Ireally have low self esteem and see myself on the very low side of the totem poll when it comes to looks. He thought i was beautiful but never really told me. He also wasn't very affectionate, I'm HUGE on affection. Basically he didn't know how to verbalize all that stuff to me. i sat him down and told him that it's really important that he told me how he felt for me and if thats hard and least show it by being affectionate.

    DB also makes me make alot of the decisions cause i'm pretty indecisive and he's trying to help me get out of that. I don't know if thats your situation but when i don't want to make a desicion i tell him, "i really don't know, would you please decide this time" just something like that

    DBs gotten really good with the communication, mainly because he didn't know how bad he was at it until i told him when i needed and how i needed it, he responded really well to it surprisingly

    I don't know if that has helped...PM anytime k
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    #3
    I don't really know what to say about the original question that was asked except that you could try talking to him about it.

    Turtle....

    I'm a professional make-up artist and I can tell you from experience....you are GORGEOUS. You have beautiful and unique facial features even with zero to minimal enhancement (from your pic). Don't sell yourself short hun...I'd love to paint your face.
  4. ARMYCOMBATWIFE8
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    I TRIED TALKIN TO HIM HE JUST IGNORES ME LIKE IM THERE THEN WHEN I EXPLAIN THINGS TO HIM HE SAYS HE DOESNT DO THAT OR NO HE WASNT SO HOW DO I FIX THAT???? HAVE IT RECORDED MAYBE TO SHOW
  5. M&N
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    I have the same problem! I think my DB is just shy when it comes to giving compliments. The advice I got from a friend was so simple I had never thought of it: just ask for a compliment! Like, if you've gotten all done up to go out on a date rather than sit there steaming when he dosen't say anything ask, "how do I look?" And if he's anything like my DB and just answers "good", I would say "just good??" and frown/pout. LOL! I am so shameless.

    And if that still doesn't work, I agree that you should talk to him. Tell him that you know he thinks you're beautiful but you need to hear the words more because you don't see yourself that way (although I'm sure you are ).

    Good luck!
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    #6
    you don't--- I have been with DH for 10 yrs- I can count on one hand how many times he has "offered" a compliment-
    he didn't do it when we dated either-
    so I learned to ask-- and he has learned to be honest- I will ask him if these pants make my butt look big and he will tell me yes if they do-
    otherwise I just look in the mirror and decide for myself.

    and we get a huge laugh when I do the "flamigo" when trying to find the right shoes!! but he will try to tell me which looks better!! LOL
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    #7
    i am not sure. my dh always talks good to me. I don't think you can change him though. Just let him know its important to you
  8. i didn't realize that the USSR was back.
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    #8
    sometimes you have to fish, some men just will never get it.. my dh will always tell me when I look good and even lie when we both know I look like poo.. not all men were created equally so you might always have to say hey how do i look in this? does this make me look___.


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  9. Death Before Decaf!!
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    #9
    My first suggestion would be to talk to him. You tried that, he is closely resembling a brick wall.

    At that point, I would recommend marriage counseling so he can learn to communicate and you can get the marriage going back in a healthy direction. It's supposed to be a partnership and it sounds like maybe he's forgotten that (if he ever realized it in the first place). Marriage counseling isn't anything for him to be ashamed of, but he needs to know that you're not happy, and there need to be some positive changes made in the relationship.

    Good luck
    "Wine is proof that God loves us and wants to see us happy."
    ~Benjamin Franklin~
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    #10
    I know DH wasn't overly affectionate either when we first started dating. But when I'd get dressed, I'd ask him, What do ou think of this??.... At first he'd say ok or good, but then I'd insist he elaborate and tell me if he thought it was the right thing to wear to this or that or if he thought I was too dressed up or if he liked it. Eventually, he started giving me his honest opinion and now it's not a problem. He used to have really bad communication issues, but I pretty much kept trying and buggin him. I know there were a fw times he's get frustrated with me and basically be like, what do want from me woman! But finally I just sat down and told him that I want his thoughts and opinions and that our relationship is a partnership, and I can't do it alone. After all of that, he finally started to open up, but it took a while for him to do it. Good luck and if that doesn't help, then I definately recomend the couseling-it can't hurt
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