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Thread: I didnt realize how frustrated I was...

  1. Old Newbie
    ebesse20's Avatar
    ebesse20 is offline
    Old Newbie
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    Aug 2007
    Durham, NC

    I didnt realize how frustrated I was...

    This is way longer than I thought it would be. I guess I needed to rant more than I thought. You dont need to read the whole thing. I realize now that I needed to get this out more than anything.

    OK, so my man and I have been together for almost a year (which he will miss bc of training). Anywho, I know that I want to spend the rest of my life with him and that he feels the same way as I do. A year ago, when we first talked about our views on settling down I told him I stood firmly on a few things: that I would never follow a guy right out of college and that I had to be engaged to live together and live together for a while before I got married-this bc I lived with someone for a year and learned that living with someone can be detrimental to relationships that seem fine. His view was that he has seen what marriage during deployments can do and that he wouldnt want to marry before he got out of the army, which now is indeterminable bc he's in training for SF. Alright so here's the deal... we are ready to live together but cant bc he doesnt want me living at Bragg and be completely surrounded by the military, which I understand. So I ended up moving to Durham to be closer to him and dont know anyone, which makes me read all of your posts on here about marriage and children and realize how I want that so bad. I changed one of my mindsets so maybe he has too?? But if we cant get married any time soon I at least want to be engaged but hes in and out of training constantly and will be so busy for a while- i dont know if hed even get any time to think about proposing. I dont want to ask him bc I want for him to make that decision and for it to be a huge ordeal. I'm 21 and want to start having kids before 25. He wants to have lots of time to travel after marriage and before having kids. I'll probably have to succumb to his scheduling.

    A month ago, he was talking about hopefully moving up to first group next year, and was explaining how he would get us a house in Seattle and slipped and referred to me as his wife 3 times before he saw my confused look. ???? He responded, with a surprised look, that he wasnt embarrassed but rather shocked that he could so easily call me his wife without a second thought. I dont want to put pressure on him and I dont want him to think that I'm rushing things....but i want him to propose!!!! I made the move up here for it wrong for me to want him to follow suit and make a commitment to me???
  2. mamaofbeaniebaby
    mamaofbeaniebaby's Avatar
    You're not wrong at all for wanting a commitment from him, especially when you up rooted your life for him. But I'm sure he's just waiting for the right time. And I definitely agree with you on the wanting to live together first before marriage that is a wise decision. Goodluck with your situation and I'm glad you were able to get that off your chest.

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