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Thread: Advice on young marriage...?

  1. I see the light at the end of the tunnel...
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    #1

    Confused Advice on young marriage...?

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    Hi there. I've my been with my current boyfriend for two years now, and I am certain that marriage is in our near future. I'm afraid it bight sooner than it should be..? He just enlisted, and while away at basic, during one of those 2 minute phone calls, he said to look into a marriage liscense and what not. I know he really, really wants to be married (after AIT, which would be in January), and to be honest, so do I, however, we both just turned 18 at the beginning of this year. With his recent enlistment, the need and want to be closer/together is even stronger than it's ever been before. I'm enrolled for college this fall, and I really want to stay in school, but my heart won't leave me alone, and I know I can't go another day without him. I'm hoping we can work something out to where I can be with him and still go to school. As bad as we want to be together, I'm afraid that it might not be the smartest decision to get married young. If any have advice on my situation or experience, it'd be greatly appreciated! xoxo
    TTFN. Ta-ta for now MSOS.
  2. valerie
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    i am not married but i am engaged and young. df and i plan on getting married and then i will "go" to school online. University of Phoenix. I have been going to college for about a year and a half and my advice is go your freshmen year. live in the dorms, meet new people and do all those college things like parties and games. i had a pretty good time and i wouldnt change it for anything.
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    i got married at 20 and dh was 23. we've been married a year and it was the perfect decision for us. i say you do what you guys feel is right in your heart. oh and i'm married and finishing up my college degree (bachelors). where there is a will there is a way
  4. miss.p
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    I got married at 19. DH was 20 at the time. I was at Purdue and had just finished up my first year. We chose to get married, but that didn't mean I had to give up on college. I am now finishing up my 2 year degree and soon i will start on my BA through UCF online. A lot of universities have online programs now. The only reason I am doing online is because we are moving to Germany. If you're worried about school, look into online programs, or wherever he gets stationed, look into the schools there. Marriage doesn't prevent you from getting an education by any means. I think it's great that you are concerned with that because a college degree is so important.

    As far as just getting married young, when I did, I got the same reaction from everyone: "you're too young, it won't ever last". But we had faith that it would. I can't say we've proved anyone wrong because we've only been married about 14 months now. But the biggest thing in marrying young is that you have to go into knowing that change is the only constant in life. In your college years, that is when you find yourself. It's when you discover who you are and what you want in life. If you are confident that the two of you can grow together, and adjust to eachother's changes, then do it.

    Don't get married out of pressure. If you feel more comfortable getting a degree before marrying him, that's always an option. I know many military wives are married young so there will be a lot of people who can offer you advice. This is the right place to come for it.
  5. hurry up and wait....
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    #5
    Quote Originally Posted by sage View Post
    I got married at 19. DH was 20 at the time. I was at Purdue and had just finished up my first year. We chose to get married, but that didn't mean I had to give up on college. I am now finishing up my 2 year degree and soon i will start on my BA through UCF online. A lot of universities have online programs now. The only reason I am doing online is because we are moving to Germany. If you're worried about school, look into online programs, or wherever he gets stationed, look into the schools there. Marriage doesn't prevent you from getting an education by any means. I think it's great that you are concerned with that because a college degree is so important.

    As far as just getting married young, when I did, I got the same reaction from everyone: "you're too young, it won't ever last". But we had faith that it would. I can't say we've proved anyone wrong because we've only been married about 14 months now. But the biggest thing in marrying young is that you have to go into knowing that change is the only constant in life. In your college years, that is when you find yourself. It's when you discover who you are and what you want in life. If you are confident that the two of you can grow together, and adjust to eachother's changes, then do it.

    Don't get married out of pressure. If you feel more comfortable getting a degree before marrying him, that's always an option. I know many military wives are married young so there will be a lot of people who can offer you advice. This is the right place to come for it.
    This is some really good advice. I too got married at 19 and I know I did the right thing, and that is all that matters.
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    #6
    I didn't marry too young (23) and I think that following your heart is not always the right thing to do. The fact that you have these questions kind of sends a message that you might not be ready just yet to get married. If you are going to be together forever, a few years isn't going to matter, you really need to do what YOU want. If you want to get married to be with him, then do it; if you want to wait and go to school, it's your choice. I believe though, that a woman should live on her own first see what it;s like in the real world and depending on no one but yourself. Good luck.
  7. Damn, it feels good to be a gangsta
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    #7
    i'm all for following your heart, but you sound hesitant and that would be a reason to postpone plans. we were 26 & 27 when we married and i certainly think our marriage has benefited from having certain things under our belts before-hand. i'm sure you can make it work at 18, but from your post, it seems wise for you to wait a little bit. good luck in whatever you decide.
  8. Del
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    #8
    Look into your school situation if you guys did get married. I mean, seriously research it and think about it. Especially since ya'll don't know where he'll be headed yet.

    I'm not planning on getting married for a few more years still (I'm almost 20), but I did some serious soul searching related to my college degree versus being with DB. With *my* degree and *my* goals (everyone's are different), I decided that a few more years long distance won't kill us. But, I did research schools where DB is stationed, and even applied to one (and, got accepted, so it's totally possible!).

    I'm not saying that you shouldn't get married! Far from it. And, only you can decide that. I'm just saying, that I'm surviving the other end of it. DB went through BCT and A-school while I was doing my frosh year of college, and that was... for me... an important year of school to suffer through and see that I survived.

    Good luck in whatever you decide. Just... don't rush into anything either way, right? Make sure you find what you want, and go for it!
  9. MilitarySOS Jewel
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    #9
    I think Sage has given some very good advice. Best of luck in deciding what you want to do.

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