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Thread: Young Marriage? Thoughts?

  1. everlong11
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    Question Young Marriage? Thoughts?

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    So for a while I've been personally debating why we (I'm 20 yrs old) younger people are in such a rush to get married. I lovelove the idea of it, and definitely look forward to engagement and marriage (especially to DB ). But there is so much more that goes with it. Why does that gnawing feeling of wanting to marry so soon, persist?



    Anybody have any thoughts on this (not about me, just in general)? I haven't come up with any answers
  2. Armylove
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    because we want too?
  3. everlong11
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    Quote Originally Posted by MrsBarnum View Post
    because we want too?
    that's all the reason we need, of course (and i didnt mean to offend you if i did) im just curious about this topic in general because my boyfriend seems very far away from that idea.
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    I don't know if this was a general question but I was 17 days past 18 when I got married. It wasn't that I "rushed" into it, it felt natural. I had been with DH since I was 15 and it felt right to get married when we did. Not everybody "rushes" into things, so people actually plan it out and so forth and it is the next step for them.

    However, the ones who do rush into it I tend to wonder what is up (especially with military guys, and call me whatever you want it is just how I think). I tend to think that the ones who rush into marriages days/weeks before a deployment simply want the money. It is not like they get the time to spend together so I usually wonder if the girl is pregnant or if they just really want the money and benefits and that is it. KWIM? Again, this is just what I think
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    i got married at 20 but i had been through a TON in my life already. i grew up fast. it felt like the perfect time for us already.
  6. MIA for awhile...
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    #6
    I was dating dh for just over a year and a half before I married him. It felt natural. Sometimes I still have my doubts- I think that's natural because of all the stigma that goes into young marriage.

    Like this post for example. The fact that there was the word "rushed" used, and understood- means that there is ALOT of stigma that goes with this. It's quite offensive at times, so it can make one think or doubt what they actually feel- even when they *know* it's real.

    I think life is too short to sit around and wait. Honestly- we don't know when we are going to die- so why should we wait to find the "one"? How do we know we will be around to find the "one". And why is it- we are told that we wont find the "one" until we are older? I dunno- once again- there is that stigma. It all boils down to this- if you are inlove with a man and he's inlove with you- and you know you can't imagine your life without him- don't wait forever, you may end up losing the only chance you have. However- don't get married unless you are sure what you're doing is going to work for you.

    I hope that makes sense. It's more of a bunch of thoughts that run through my head everytime we get a thread like this- rather than a thought out reply.
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  7. bunkie
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    Quote Originally Posted by harrisonsdream View Post
    i got married at 20 but i had been through a TON in my life already. i grew up fast. it felt like the perfect time for us already.
    I agree, I also agree with my sweet mrsbarnum. I got married at 16, I have never looked back. Frankly I am glad I am not still looking for mr. right like most women today.
  8. everlong11
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    Quote Originally Posted by JoyS View Post
    I don't know if this was a general question but I was 17 days past 18 when I got married. It wasn't that I "rushed" into it, it felt natural. I had been with DH since I was 15 and it felt right to get married when we did. Not everybody "rushes" into things, so people actually plan it out and so forth and it is the next step for them.

    However, the ones who do rush into it I tend to wonder what is up (especially with military guys, and call me whatever you want it is just how I think). I tend to think that the ones who rush into marriages days/weeks before a deployment simply want the money. It is not like they get the time to spend together so I usually wonder if the girl is pregnant or if they just really want the money and benefits and that is it. KWIM? Again, this is just what I think
    From what DB has told me, there are a decent number of military couples out there who do seem to be in it for the benefits, but that is their decision. Ive always wondered about it too though [AND what does KWIM mean? haha it comes up everywhere and I just dont know ]
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    #9
    Maybe it is a military thing to a certain extent? A lot of my hometown friends have an unspoken I-won't-get-married-until-I'm-30 rule.
  10. Psych Student by Day..
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    #10
    I agree that a lot of people do rush to get married, but I think the majority do what feels right for them. There are people in their 30's or 40's or older who rush into a marriage because they feel like they are "old" and want to be married like other people their age. So I think it happens across the boards, in every walk of life, and in every age bracket.

    I do see a lot of military get married younger than the average, but if you think about it-the whole lifestyle is different. Military,IMO, makes people grow up quicker, too.

    Lord knows I'm not mature enough to be married at the moment, but we're happily engaged and we'll continue to be engaged until I want to set a date.


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