Military Significant Others and Spouse Support - MilitarySOS.com
Page 2 of 2 FirstFirst 12
Results 11 to 20 of 20

Thread: need help dont know what to do

  1. MilitarySOS Jewel
    Carolina's Avatar
    Carolina is offline
    MilitarySOS Jewel
    Join Date
    Nov 2011
    Posts
    3,641


    #11
    Advertisements
    Boy bye!
  2. Senior Member
    idratherbehiking's Avatar
    idratherbehiking is offline
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jul 2014
    Location
    Arendelle
    Posts
    5,783
    #12
    Quote Originally Posted by Agusta View Post
    It's hard because I love and care about him. And I want him to go counseling and I want him to get help for the drinking and I don't want to just throw way the last 2 years. But I also don't want him thinking that he can get away with doing this
    Don't want to throw away 2 years of what? Being lied to and cheated on?

    You gave him a second chance and nothing changed.




  3. Senior Member
    Heisenberg's Avatar
    Heisenberg is offline
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    May 2011
    Location
    South Florida
    Posts
    16,413
    #13
    You're falling for the sunk cost fallacy. You don't need to waste more time on a fuckboy just because you already wasted some time, you know? It doesn't get better from here. He already ruined it.
  4. Senior Member
    CDNTrish's Avatar
    CDNTrish is offline
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2011
    Posts
    6,435
    #14
    Quote Originally Posted by Heisenberg View Post
    You're falling for the sunk cost fallacy. You don't need to waste more time on a fuckboy just because you already wasted some time, you know? It doesn't get better from here. He already ruined it.
    Fuckboy Fallacy?
  5. Regular Member
    RebeccaAshley's Avatar
    RebeccaAshley is offline
    Regular Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2017
    Posts
    76
    #15
    From my experience, cheaters don't change. Especially if you've caught them multiple times.

    I've been in an awful relationship, where I only stayed because I was comfortable and hoped it would change.
    As a result, I wasted SEVEN years of my life on a guy who NEVER changed.
    Broke up with him, and eventually met my current boyfriend, who actually loves and respects me.
    Breaking up with him was the best thing I ever did.
    I wouldn't want you being in that position. staying with someone for years and years- just HOPING for change.

    I know it probably feels like the end of the world to leave this guy because you don't want the last two years to be wasted, but it's not the end of the world.
    There IS a better guy out there for you. I never believed it myself, but there is.

    Don't settle.
  6. Senior Member
    Guynavywife's Avatar
    Guynavywife is offline
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    Location
    Maryland
    Posts
    19,310
    Blog Entries
    2
    #16
    What everyone else has said!
    If you want my opinion on your relationship or life issues, just ask Villanelle!
    Quote Originally Posted by LittleMsSunshine View Post
    I think it's really funny when people come on here, and automatically assume that everyone here is a gung-ho, hoo-rah, i-bleed-red-white-and-blue, kiss-my-military-ass, people-in-uniform-can-do-no-wrong, and i'm-entitled-to-everything bitch.
    "RIP Blackie, and Whitey, New Whitey. Goodbye Poopers and Momma Beige and Lady Grey. New Blackie and the Whitey Sisters rule the roost now!"
  7. Senior Member
    Medic2Doula's Avatar
    Medic2Doula is offline
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2017
    Location
    San Diego, CA
    Posts
    1,330
    #17
    Quote Originally Posted by Agusta View Post
    It's hard because I love and care about him. And I want him to go counseling and I want him to get help for the drinking and I don't want to just throw way the last 2 years. But I also don't want him thinking that he can get away with doing this
    two years of learning. not wasted.
    you stay with him when you KNOW this is only going to hurt you, that's wasting your time.
    counseling helps people who want to fix their relationship. His actions are not showing he cares and wants to fix anything.

    Show some self respect (if you don't respect yourself, why should he?) and dump him.
  8. Old Newbie
    mhd_mdh's Avatar
    mhd_mdh is offline
    Old Newbie
    Join Date
    Oct 2017
    Posts
    20
    #18
    I'd be done. Don't keep yourself in an unhealthy relationship, no matter the reason. I've been through similar and it sucks and hurts, a lot. Don't do it anymore.
  9. Regular Member
    LifeHappens's Avatar
    LifeHappens is offline
    Regular Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2017
    Posts
    197
    #19
    Quote Originally Posted by Agusta View Post
    . I am at a total loss of what to do. please help
    No you aren't. I HOPE you just want confirmation that you deserve better... YOU DO.
    Be sure to require it from the NEXT guy.

    I am so sorry for this guy's NEXT girlfriend... she could just go all "Carrie Underwood" on him.
  10. Regular Member
    LifeHappens's Avatar
    LifeHappens is offline
    Regular Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2017
    Posts
    197
    #20

    Exclamation When People Show You Who They Are... Believe Them, The First Time.

    Quote Originally Posted by villanelle View Post
    I suspect you love what you used to have, and maybe the idea of him and of who you thought he was before he showed you his true colors. They just love the idea of the future they thought they were going to have, and the man they thought they were with until he showed them his true colors. That doesn't make it much easier to leave, of course. You mourn what you through you had. You mourn the partner you thought you were with until he showed you that man doesn't exist. You mourn the dreams and the hopes and the effort invested. That understandable. Perhaps counseling is a good idea, but for yourself, as a single person.

    I won't even tell you how much time and money I had to pay to get that advice EONS ago.
    Nor will I say how many time I had to hear it before I "HEARD" it and how many tears and how much time I wasted between those two.
    Giving up those dreams of what "we COULD be... if only HE WOULD..."

    OP - Take all this excellent advice and save the money, time, and tears and kick his ass to the curb

    Remember the famous line from Maya Angelou that Oprah quotes a lot...

    When People Show You Who They Are... Believe Them, The First Time.
Page 2 of 2 FirstFirst 12

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •