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Thread: Separated before basic. Another generic story.

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    #1

    Separated before basic. Another generic story.

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    Hello,

    It's been a very long time since I've posted in a forum, I think maybe almost over 10 years. I've been seeking out advice from just about every person and resource I know, I figured it wouldn't hurt to post something here. I've read a lot of other stories that were posted on this forum but wanted to post my own. I have no idea if I'm seeking advice, comfort, or just looking to vent it out. I'm not even sure if this is the right section to post in so I apologize in advance if this needs to be moved.

    I graduated from college two years ago and I've been back to living with my parents for a few years gaining job experience. I happen to work for the YMCA, nothing too extraordinary. At some point we had to get a 3rd staff at my particular location because I work with children. I just sort of expected some employee in their thirties or forties, I never expected a young attractive guy to walk in the door.

    Apparently he fell in love with me the first moment he saw me, but I just saw him as just another dumb young guy. He spent almost three months trying to woo me with flirting at work. At the time I was sort of seeing somebody else which is why he didn't quite make a serious move sooner. I was not happy with the person I was with, and one day this other guy brought to my attention the fact that I was always talking about this new guy at work.

    After a few weeks of denial of my own feelings, I started to realize that my current guy was right. I started making my own attempts to hang out with the new guy at work and eventually it led to a few really awesome nights of hanging out, talking, and just feeling alive.

    He was dating a girl at the time as well, but was not happy with her because she was extremely insecure and very jealous and tried to spy on and stalk him. She wasn't being very nice to him or his friends. One night we both just kind of decided we didn't want to be with our current relationships and really wanted eachother.

    He was definitely very upfront about the fact that he was going into the Navy soon. At first his basic leave date was sometime in June but they really wanted him early and attempted to move it sooner. We both knew it was a bad idea but neither of us could resist being with each other. We spent the next three months living together and having what felt like the best three months of my life ever. I have never been with a guy that treated me with such respect, love, care, support, and non judgement. He wrote me tons of love letters and expressed his feelings for me every single day in words that went beyond petty compliments about my looks. He loved me exactly for who I was from head to toe, inside and out. He's supported my art and always made sure to tell me how much he admired my talents.

    At this point I had already been thinking about moving to a different place and finally getting a job more in my career field. After basic he's going to Navy school for about two years in South Carolina. I thought it was perfect... I'd be able to get an artsy job nearby and visit him when he had time. Definitely not as often, but I've had long distance relationships for years before. I'm an only child so I'm used to being on my own and being self sufficient.

    One week before he left, he told his friends how much he loved me and was ready to handle everything, including us. A day later he totally switched his mind. I begged and begged him, told him he could be making a mistake or choice he'll regret. But he is also extremely stubborn.

    The final 4 days he didn't want to hang or talk to me. But he was always the first one to look at my Snapchats and added me on Instagram.

    I still saw him on leaving day. Wrote him a nice goodbye speech. He gave me two really long hugs and kisses. Didn't give me an address to send any postcards to. He took his address book though.

    At this point it's been almost four weeks. I've come to the conclusion that it's over forever. I've cried for weeks, grieving, going through depression. I've decided to move on, go after my dream career as a model. Preparing for that as fast as I can. And it really sucks, because we had a really strong love and connection that I feel he threw away. He said he wanted to do the most "gentlemen" thing and felt like he was going to trap me. I'm so mad that he thinks he was trapping me. He put words and thoughts into my own head that weren't true.

    So, hopefully someday I'll find someone who's just as amazing, if not better, who believes our love is worth any sacrifice or hardship.
  2. Senior Member
    Heisenberg's Avatar
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    #2
    Quote Originally Posted by Lavender25 View Post
    Hello,

    It's been a very long time since I've posted in a forum, I think maybe almost over 10 years. I've been seeking out advice from just about every person and resource I know, I figured it wouldn't hurt to post something here. I've read a lot of other stories that were posted on this forum but wanted to post my own. I have no idea if I'm seeking advice, comfort, or just looking to vent it out. I'm not even sure if this is the right section to post in so I apologize in advance if this needs to be moved.

    I graduated from college two years ago and I've been back to living with my parents for a few years gaining job experience. I happen to work for the YMCA, nothing too extraordinary. At some point we had to get a 3rd staff at my particular location because I work with children. I just sort of expected some employee in their thirties or forties, I never expected a young attractive guy to walk in the door.

    Apparently he fell in love with me the first moment he saw me, but I just saw him as just another dumb young guy. He spent almost three months trying to woo me with flirting at work. At the time I was sort of seeing somebody else which is why he didn't quite make a serious move sooner. I was not happy with the person I was with, and one day this other guy brought to my attention the fact that I was always talking about this new guy at work.

    After a few weeks of denial of my own feelings, I started to realize that my current guy was right. I started making my own attempts to hang out with the new guy at work and eventually it led to a few really awesome nights of hanging out, talking, and just feeling alive.

    He was dating a girl at the time as well, but was not happy with her because she was extremely insecure and very jealous and tried to spy on and stalk him. She wasn't being very nice to him or his friends. One night we both just kind of decided we didn't want to be with our current relationships and really wanted eachother.

    He was definitely very upfront about the fact that he was going into the Navy soon. At first his basic leave date was sometime in June but they really wanted him early and attempted to move it sooner. We both knew it was a bad idea but neither of us could resist being with each other. We spent the next three months living together and having what felt like the best three months of my life ever. I have never been with a guy that treated me with such respect, love, care, support, and non judgement. He wrote me tons of love letters and expressed his feelings for me every single day in words that went beyond petty compliments about my looks. He loved me exactly for who I was from head to toe, inside and out. He's supported my art and always made sure to tell me how much he admired my talents.

    At this point I had already been thinking about moving to a different place and finally getting a job more in my career field. After basic he's going to Navy school for about two years in South Carolina. I thought it was perfect... I'd be able to get an artsy job nearby and visit him when he had time. Definitely not as often, but I've had long distance relationships for years before. I'm an only child so I'm used to being on my own and being self sufficient.

    One week before he left, he told his friends how much he loved me and was ready to handle everything, including us. A day later he totally switched his mind. I begged and begged him, told him he could be making a mistake or choice he'll regret. But he is also extremely stubborn.

    The final 4 days he didn't want to hang or talk to me. But he was always the first one to look at my Snapchats and added me on Instagram.

    I still saw him on leaving day. Wrote him a nice goodbye speech. He gave me two really long hugs and kisses. Didn't give me an address to send any postcards to. He took his address book though.

    At this point it's been almost four weeks. I've come to the conclusion that it's over forever. I've cried for weeks, grieving, going through depression. I've decided to move on, go after my dream career as a model. Preparing for that as fast as I can. And it really sucks, because we had a really strong love and connection that I feel he threw away. He said he wanted to do the most "gentlemen" thing and felt like he was going to trap me. I'm so mad that he thinks he was trapping me. He put words and thoughts into my own head that weren't true.

    So, hopefully someday I'll find someone who's just as amazing, if not better, who believes our love is worth any sacrifice or hardship.
    I mean, this guy was a dick from the beginning lol. He wasn't happy with her because she didn't trust him, but she had every right not to? Because he was falling in love with girls at work? What a reach to make her the villain.
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    #3
    Quote Originally Posted by Heisenberg View Post
    I mean, this guy was a dick from the beginning lol. He wasn't happy with her because she didn't trust him, but she had every right not to? Because he was falling in love with girls at work? What a reach to make her the villain.
    Preach!
    That was what I saw first as well.
    There's an old saying, "if they do it for you, they'll do it to you."
    Ever hear of a silver tongued devil?
    I used to have this male friend who would make his wife out to be the root of all evil, and then you would learn he cheated on her regularly including within a week of their son's birth.

    Did it cross your mind, maybe his girlfriend had good reason to be suspicious. A woman scorned?

    Love isn't something that treats people like they are disposable. It soundslike this guy is a real charmer, but not necessarily a keeper.
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    #4
    Yeah, I guess you're both right. Guess I dodged that bullet. Someday he'll lose that charm when he's old, fat, ugly, and alone. Good riddance.
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    #5
    Quote Originally Posted by Lavender25 View Post
    Yeah, I guess you're both right. Guess I dodged that bullet. Someday he'll lose that charm when he's old, fat, ugly, and alone. Good riddance.
    Sorry girl.
    I knew a guy like that who ended up having a daughter, I wonder if that changes them you know?
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    #6
    Quote Originally Posted by Medic2Doula View Post
    Sorry girl.
    I knew a guy like that who ended up having a daughter, I wonder if that changes them you know?
    No one of my friends from high school acts like his daughter opened his eyes and changed how he treats women but he's as shitty as ever.
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    #7
    Quote Originally Posted by Heisenberg View Post
    No one of my friends from high school acts like his daughter opened his eyes and changed how he treats women but he's as shitty as ever.
    Ugghhh
    No faith in humanity

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