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Thread: Marriage

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    #11
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    My viewpoint in life has changed 180 degrees from when I was 18. I thought I knew exactly what I wanted and I had big plans. I also told myself and my boyfirnd(now husband) that I would never ever ever be married to someone in the military and will never leave my home state. Funny... I've lived in 2 different states then where I am now and my husband is in the military. I agree with all the other ladies, they all make valid points. There's a handful of ladies on here that I would suggest taking their advice or at least thinking about what we are all saying because they've been in this lifestyle for sometime and know what it's all about.
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    #12
    It could work out...and might...but the likelihood is very slim. I thought I was mature at 18...and maybe I was for my age...but I was a totally different person then. Live on your own, learn about yourself (and your boyfriend)...then if you're still on the same page after growing (not just aging, but actually growing as individuals) then I'd pursue taking the relationship further.
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    #13
    It's so easy to get caught up in the idea of being mature enough for marriage at that age. However, that's only a small part of the issue. People change so much at that age. I don't know that you can really understand and be prepared for how much you will actually change. No matter how much you love each other or how mature you are, there's no guarantee that you and your bf will change and grow together. Why is there such a rush to tie your life up with someone at that age. Date, continue to learn about each other and about yourselves, and just see how it goes.

    I Eelizah
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    #14
    At 17 when I got engaged, I thought I was mature too. I married my ex husband ( noticed I typed EX) when we were both 19. Did I love him? Sure, I thought I did... I thought I knew what love was and I thought he loved me... But there are different kinds of love!

    It was HARD ... we were so young, naive, and could have truly bettered ourselves as individuals before marrying one another. In the end we ended up divorced with 3 kids. Not the way I envisioned our life together.

    Bottom line.... wait. Life life, grow independently and seek out who you truly are before committing your life to someone who is still learning who he is. Find yourself a great job, save some money, learn new skills, travel and see the world.... become the best version of yourself before marriage! Take it from someone who thought she was "mature" and knew it all despite what her friends an and family told her...
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    #15
    Lord help me if I married the boyfriend I had at 18

    You have the right idea by considering waiting, you can have so much fun in a relationship when you guys grow together over time & can celebrate that when you're truly ready to get married. I have a few friends who were couples in high school and the boyfriends joined the military right after graduation & those couples got married. They're still together 7 years later, but it has not been an easy road by any means. It's possible to stay together, but it takes true friendship in a marriage. As for me, DB and I are both 24 and have lived on our own, pay bills, I have a degree, are definitely sure we want to get married, BUT we're just waiting for the right time as he is in A school. His RDCs (drill sargeants) in boot camp drilled it through their heads not to get married during A school & he's taken it to heart lol which I'm fine with. We're having fun & enjoying our time together. I don't feel like there's reason to rush since we love each other whether or not we get married today or in a year.
    https://66.media.tumblr.com/3a006e1a506c9f8649f4d809726f2d43/tumblr_nwtutw4zvG1sa8ezpo8_r1_250.gif
  6. aBr
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    #16
    Quote Originally Posted by cinnamonbunz View Post
    Lord help me if I married the boyfriend I had at 18
    Amen
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    #17
    Coming from someone that got married at 19 to a guy that I hadn't dated that long but I was bound and determined to marry him despite what my family thought.... Please wait! I got pregnant soon after getting married and I found myself going through a divorce and pregnant at 20 years old. I love my son and he's my world but I wish I would have waited. I didn't know who he really was if that makes sense. There was lots of surprises once we got married and moved in together that weren't good. He didn't treat me right to say the least. I'm now almost 25 and have found a man that truly loves me and my son but we are taking it slow since I've learned from my mistakes. My son's dad sadly has nothing to do with him and I support him fully on my own. Again I love my son (who's now 4.. will be 5 in a few months) but being a young single mom is def. hard! Just give your relationship some time. Learn about how yall react with the distance as distance can be a big thing with the military. See how things work with communicating at distances and with little communication. Then once yall have gotten through some stuff then start thinking about marriage! I know some ladies on here are still happily married after getting married young, but there is many like myself that got divorced at a young age! It's def. something I'm not proud of but I learned for the relationship that I am in now so that we wont rush things!
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    #18
    I mean absolutely no disrespect, but everyone at your age feels they are mature and know what they want, but ultimately you don't because you can't. You have so much life ahead of you and you might be a completely different person in another 5 years. If you truly love one another, stay together. Grow and change together, and if you're still this in love in 3-4 years like you're planning get engaged and married then and prove everyone wrong! There's no need to rush into "the rest of your lives" if you really believe you'll be together forever!
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    #19
    Quote Originally Posted by EverlastingLove View Post
    Dont get married just because you can. Get married when it's right for each of you as individuals and for your relationship. By that I mean establish real independence, figure out who you are, what you want in life. You change so much from 18-mid 20s, embrace that.
    NAILED IT! Completely agree
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