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Thread: We FOUGHT!!!!...

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    #1

    We FOUGHT!!!!...

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    .... For the first time ever. It felt like a good thing to do after over a year of being together without any fights, and I feel better about us as a couple now that we've had a disagreement and gotten through it no problem. It was more of a misunderstanding coupled with misplaced expectations on both of our ends and the fight was really just us expressing our feelings and being annoyed with each other (I cried, but I always cry whenever I get the slightest bit emotional haha). We were able to talk about the issue again a few days later more in-depth and it was all productive and good (if such a thing can be good). Neither of us felt like the other was being passive-aggressive or carrying a grudge over it, so that was also good.

    The fight sort of seemed to unlock another level of something from him, because we've started being able to have concrete discussions about where the relationship is going to go, how it might work if he re-enlists again, his goals in the military, my goals with going back to school and beyond, etc. And marriage seems to be officially on the table now (which is fun and exciting!!)
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    #2
    interesting how a fight brought all this good...haha
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    #3
    Quote Originally Posted by ziah View Post
    .... For the first time ever. It felt like a good thing to do after over a year of being together without any fights, and I feel better about us as a couple now that we've had a disagreement and gotten through it no problem. It was more of a misunderstanding coupled with misplaced expectations on both of our ends and the fight was really just us expressing our feelings and being annoyed with each other (I cried, but I always cry whenever I get the slightest bit emotional haha). We were able to talk about the issue again a few days later more in-depth and it was all productive and good (if such a thing can be good). Neither of us felt like the other was being passive-aggressive or carrying a grudge over it, so that was also good.

    The fight sort of seemed to unlock another level of something from him, because we've started being able to have concrete discussions about where the relationship is going to go, how it might work if he re-enlists again, his goals in the military, my goals with going back to school and beyond, etc. And marriage seems to be officially on the table now (which is fun and exciting!!)
    Congrats?


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    #4
    You should be able to talk about these things in a relationship before a fight. How odd haha
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    #5
    Every relationship is unique, but conflict in relationships is universal. It sounds like you both grew and learned something from the conflict. Yah!!!

    Coming off a deployment changes perspectives; at least it always has for myself and DH. Im gonna go out on a limb and suggest the fight didnt bring out another level but the deployment brought it out. The fight was just the delivery vehicle of feelings.

    DH and I have a deal. When we have a conflict we sit and talk rationally without screaming and we resolve the conflict right then. Its not always possible to deal with it instantly but we try as soon as possible. The other part of our deal is that if either of us feel we cant be rational we are allowed to call a time out for a day. One day ... no more.

    So fight .... but fight fair and you will continue to learn about each other.

    Ohhhh and congrats about the marriage convo!!!!
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    #6
    That is awesome. Open communication and working together to work through and past it.
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    #7
    Quote Originally Posted by jendelion View Post
    Congrats?
    this was my reaction too


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    #8
    Quote Originally Posted by Allybeth View Post
    You should be able to talk about these things in a relationship before a fight. How odd haha
    Eh. It's only been a year, six months of which he spent being deployed, the rest of which has been long distance, interspersed with visits ranging from a few days to a couple of weeks. We touched on those topics during that time but didn't feel ready to go in-depth on them until now
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    #9
    Sometimes a disagreement or a fight can make 2 people realize how important the other is to them and bring them closer...especially when you were able to work through it together. So I think this is definitely a positive
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    #10
    Quote Originally Posted by jendelion View Post
    Congrats?
    Quote Originally Posted by bdizzle View Post
    this was my reaction too
    me three....OP I guess I don't get it, you figured it was about time to have a fight?


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