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Thread: Our first argument

  1. Senior Member
    Heisenberg's Avatar
    Heisenberg is offline
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    #21
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    Quote Originally Posted by CDNTrish View Post
    I really don't think it matters whether or not there was something else going on. That type of behaviour is totally unacceptable, something else or not.
    Agreed. Regardless of what the issue was, this was a totally inappropriate response and it shouldn't be excused. Nobody ever deserves that.

    To answer the OP, I don't really think it's that big of a deal that you wouldn't share your weight. You're not keeping a secret that would change anything for him, it's literally a number on a scale. It would be one thing if you were a catfish online presenting yourself as something other than what you are, but that's not the case here. I understand him being hurt that you're not comfortable enough to share with him, but it's ultimately your business, your decision, and he had no right to respond the way he did.
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    #22
    Quote Originally Posted by kaywalton View Post
    Hey guys,
    I am not sure where to post this so I apologize if I am in the wrong forum category.
    This is not army related...it is about my diet and relationship.

    My boyfriend and I will be celbrating our first anniversary in just couple days. Since we met, I have been very serious about my weightloss and managed to lose 45lbs.
    I have another 40lbs to go to reach my ideal weight and goal. I have always been struggling with weight unlike my boyfriend who has beautiful muscular body without any effort.
    Only exercise he gets is during PT. With that said, he does not really understand how hard it is for me.

    In the past year of being together, he has been very supportive and we never argued besides some petty stuff. Well this past weekend he asked about my weight. Him asking me how much I weigh was the
    hardest question ever. I completely froze and told him I am not comfortable telling him - not yet. I explained how I never told anyone (besides my doctor) as it is a very sensitive topic to me and how embarassed I am.
    This response started a crazy argument. I got yelled at for about 5 hours....how I dont trust him, how he cant trust me because I am hiding stuff, how we shouldnt be together,....him slamming doors, leaving the house, coming back, getting drunk and yelling some more....I went to sleep crying and totally exhausted. In the middle of the argument I told him the actual weight and felt terrible..... I thought morning will be OK but we did not speak most of the day. We argued for another 2 hours as he is not trying to understand my point view and accused me of not trying to understand him. When I dropped him off on post (we do not live together), we did apologize to each other and made sure we both are OK. This morning he called just like every day and acted like nothing happened.

    My question is.... is it really such a big deal not telling your weight to your significant other?
    If he yelled at you for 5 hours because you would not tell him how much you weigh it is time to dump his crazy ass. As for your actual question....been married nearly 15 years and have never once told DH how much I weigh. No reason to do it so I don't.
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    #23
    Having been the fat kids all through life, since before age 2, I totally understand and can completely sympathize with your about not telling. His reaction, to the point of multiple hours, way off base. Those who have never struggled with being over weight don't understand the embarrassment we are put through, not only from ourselves but society. And his reaction and taking it to that extent doesn't help it any. I don't think it's a big deal for an SO to know your weight. It's just a number, it doesn't define who you are, or what your body looks like or whether or not they love you. You can take a dozen people who all weight the same and their bodies all look different. So to me, no, it shouldn't matter, mine doesn't know what mine is, but then he's never asked either because it's not important, and yes, he too is one of them with the amazing ripped bodies.
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