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Thread: Military marriage general questions & more

  1. Senior Member
    Southern-queen's Avatar
    Southern-queen is offline
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    Dec 2008
    Quote Originally Posted by LoveMyUSMarine View Post
    Hey guys (: my love is away at bootcamp right now in San Diego. When he gets home, I want to bring up marriage to him. We haven't been together very long, and yes we are young, but I am sure I want to be with him. I realize this lifestyle will not be easy but I'm truly willing to work through anything. I think love has no age limit. I was wondering if someone could give me some general info on marrying someone in the military. Do they have to be immediately be informed, how do you get to live with them, things like that. Whatever you think I need to know. Also I need some assistance deciding when to bring it up. I'm sure he will be stressed after bootcamp so should I wait a few days or make it sooner? This is something I would want to do whether he was military or not. And I miss him like crazy so wish me luck? Thank you! Any help is appreciated.
    Honestly you are young, you haven't been together long and you don't know HIS views on being with you forever.

    What you need to do is just stay committed to him and wait and until you have been together for a longer length of time. And until he has given the impression he wants to be with you forever.

    But if you are going to do it anyway, you need to wait until he is done with training. Even the training after bootcamp. That can be a very stressful time. And than what you do is in general talk about your relationship. Where does he see it going? This is where you see it going. What does he want? This is what you would like.

    And than once you both agree on marriage I believe he has to basically let his command know beforehand (seems weird and other branches don't require this). Than once married he takes your documents and information and gets you into deers. You'll get an ID card and enrolled into Tricare. He'll get BAH with dependents rate at that point and you and he will have to decide to live on base or off (on is preferred as a young low ranking military member) and than get either on the housing list or find a place.

    But yeah. Again I 100000000000% urge you to slow down, wait a while and let time pass to see how your relationship proceeds.
  2. aBr
    MilitarySOS Jewel
    aBr's Avatar
    aBr is offline
    MilitarySOS Jewel
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    Dec 2014
    Nellis AFB

    Based on some of the things you've posted about your DB in other threads, I would not bring up marriage to him, nor would I think about marriage until things have relaxed a bit. I would suggest to you that you slow down and work on what the two of you have right now. Your relationship and him acclimating to the military environment.

    I'm still on the girlfriend level, so I totally understand missing your SO and feeling like you can't spend one more day so far away, but marriage is a HUGE step that yo want to make sure lasts forever. Doing it at the right time helps longevity.
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