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View Poll Results: Should You Swallow Your Pride?

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  • Yes

    1 33.33%
  • No

    2 66.67%
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Thread: Should You Have to "Swallow You Pride"?

  1. One does not simply Ewok into Endor
    germy's Avatar
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    #11
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    If this is about the communication issue, I would absolutely not ignore it and hope it doesn't happen again. Communication is a very important thing during a deployment. It takes two seconds for someone to say "brb I have work" or "gotta go, bye". He needs to take your feelings into account.

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    #12
    Quote Originally Posted by CPANavyWife View Post
    Ok am I the only one that initially read the title all wrong & that this was in love shack & think this would be a whole different discussion?

    For some reason my tablet cut off the title after "swallow"
    Oh god



    Quote Originally Posted by germy View Post
    If this is about the communication issue, I would absolutely not ignore it and hope it doesn't happen again. Communication is a very important thing during a deployment. It takes two seconds for someone to say "brb I have work" or "gotta go, bye". He needs to take your feelings into account.
    It is about something that happened just before he left. What's worse is we had already had a discussion about it and come to an agreeance, so I don't even know why it came back up. Apparently he was still harboring feelings over it.

    Although the communication thing still seems to be another issue all on it's own.




    To the general populice:

    So basically everyone is coming to the same conclusion I have. On a serious subject, which was the case, in the end the discussion should have some sort of conclusion. Some sort of agreeance, acceptance, understanding, solution, etc. But it should not feel like a stalemate and that nothing was accomplished with the discussion.

    Also, I know the discussion should not be about being right or wrong, because then it is an argument. "Swallowing your pride" can kinda imply that is what I meant, but I didn't really know how else to phrase it. Giving up? No longer attempting to be understood. I just meant the above: coming to some sort of agreeance, understanding, etc. Not accomplishing nothing with the conversation.

    I apologise for the vagueness, but I didn't really want it to be about my specific situation, I wanted general opinions on any time this should occur.

    Also, for an update, we seem to have finally come to an agreeance about the issue, so it should no longer be an issue.

    Thanks for your thoughts everyone.
    Deployment #1: Over!

    DB: feck fuck fack Me: What? DB: I can't believe I love you so damn much


    Extended separation #2: Over!
  3. One does not simply Ewok into Endor
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    #13


    I'm glad you guys came to an agreement about whatever issue this was about and I hope it doesn't become an issue again later on.

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    #14
    Sometimes couples can't always come to an agreement. So, one person decides it's easier to let this one argument go ("swallowing their pride"). But when you let something go, you truly have to let it go. You can't shelf it and pull it out for a later date. That seems to be what you're talking about. Someone backed off but let their emotions stew... That NEVER works out well.




  5. One does not simply Ewok into Endor
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    #15
    Quote Originally Posted by idratherbehiking View Post
    Sometimes couples can't always come to an agreement. So, one person decides it's easier to let this one argument go ("swallowing their pride"). But when you let something go, you truly have to let it go. You can't shelf it and pull it out for a later date. That seems to be what you're talking about. Someone backed off but let their emotions stew... That NEVER works out well.
    this.

    <3 Anthiea <3 KittenMittens <3
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    #16
    Quote Originally Posted by idratherbehiking View Post
    Sometimes couples can't always come to an agreement. So, one person decides it's easier to let this one argument go ("swallowing their pride"). But when you let something go, you truly have to let it go. You can't shelf it and pull it out for a later date. That seems to be what you're talking about. Someone backed off but let their emotions stew... That NEVER works out well.
    Wise words. However, if they can't truly let it go I DO think it's acceptable to table tht discussion for later. Let time and perspective help sort out the pieces that are making it difficult to agree or let go.
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    #17
    Quote Originally Posted by Andie View Post
    Wise words. However, if they can't truly let it go I DO think it's acceptable to table tht discussion for later. Let time and perspective help sort out the pieces that are making it difficult to agree or let go.
    I agree that it's okay to walk away from an argument to take some time to think it over and come back with a new perceptive. Usually an agreed upon time to revisit the discussion is helpful. But, it's another thing to finish an argument and act like you've moved forward when you haven't. In that situation, the end result is usually some big argument that takes one person completely by surprise (considering they thought the other person had moved on).
    Last edited by idratherbehiking; 02-11-2015 at 04:17 PM.




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    #18
    Quote Originally Posted by germy View Post


    I'm glad you guys came to an agreement about whatever issue this was about and I hope it doesn't become an issue again later on.
    Thanks Jaime (did I remember that right? Not Jamie?). I hope it doesn't rear it's ugly head again either... There is no reason to discuss it further, there is nothing to say on either end.

    Quote Originally Posted by idratherbehiking View Post
    Sometimes couples can't always come to an agreement. So, one person decides it's easier to let this one argument go ("swallowing their pride"). But when you let something go, you truly have to let it go. You can't shelf it and pull it out for a later date. That seems to be what you're talking about. Someone backed off but let their emotions stew... That NEVER works out well.
    Quote Originally Posted by germy View Post
    this.
    Quote Originally Posted by Andie View Post
    Wise words. However, if they can't truly let it go I DO think it's acceptable to table tht discussion for later. Let time and perspective help sort out the pieces that are making it difficult to agree or let go.
    Quote Originally Posted by idratherbehiking View Post
    I agree that it's okay to walk away from an argument to take some time to think it over and come back with a new perceptive. Usually an agreed upon time to revisit the discussion is helpful. But, it's another thing to finish an argument and act like you've moved forward when you haven't.
    I agree entirely that if you decide to let it go, you have to ACTUALLY let it go. Not harbor feelings, make yourself even more angry/upset than you even were when it happened, and then blow up about it again. But in this case, he apparently didn't say all he needed to say, and also could not let it go.

    I also agree that it is fine to decide mutually to continue the conversation later on. But idratherbehiking was right, there had already been a discussion, and we had already come to an understanding/mutual agreement about it. Moved forward. It should NOT have been brought back up, that's not right or fair.
    Deployment #1: Over!

    DB: feck fuck fack Me: What? DB: I can't believe I love you so damn much


    Extended separation #2: Over!
  9. By the power of Greyskull...
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    #19
    Don't think of it as swallowing your pride. Think of it as a mutual respect for each other and their opinion. I may not agree with what DH says but I will respect what he feels.
  10. One does not simply Ewok into Endor
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    #20
    Quote Originally Posted by SamanthaAniwaya View Post
    Thanks Jaime (did I remember that right? Not Jamie?). I hope it doesn't rear it's ugly head again either... There is no reason to discuss it further, there is nothing to say on either end.
    Yep! You got it right.


    <3 Anthiea <3 KittenMittens <3
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