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Thread: plenty of fish

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    #1

    plenty of fish

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    im dating a guy whom i meet on pof for 9 months now but i recently noticed he was on pof still invisible but online because he accidently forwarded a screen shot to me when asked about it. he uses the site for people watching not for messaging because hes trying to change his single mentality hes always had. any advice?
  2. I miss Target & Trader Joe's, open roads & the smell of home
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    #2
    Quote Originally Posted by kcollege2008 View Post
    im dating a guy whom i meet on pof for 9 months now but i recently noticed he was on pof still invisible but online because he accidently forwarded a screen shot to me when asked about it. he uses the site for people watching not for messaging because hes trying to change his single mentality hes always had. any advice?
    What's pof?

    never mind.
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    #3
    Quote Originally Posted by kcollege2008 View Post
    im dating a guy whom i meet on pof for 9 months now but i recently noticed he was on pof still invisible but online because he accidently forwarded a screen shot to me when asked about it. he uses the site for people watching not for messaging because hes trying to change his single mentality hes always had. any advice?
    Welcome to SOS

    You say you are dating this man - have the two of you agreed it is a mutually exclusive relationship or are you simply dating each other? What as in/on the screenshot that was accidentally forward to you (not sure how one would accidentally forward a screenshot in answering a question as taking said screenshot and attaching it would require some specific steps vs. simply typing an answer to the question).
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    #4
    we are in a mutally exclusive relationship.

    the screenshot was sent as picture mail of his profile showing his location and it said online now which was meant for a buddy and not for me
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    #5
    Does his profile say single?
    As for the "people watching" I say he is playing games. How do you know he is not using it for messaging?
    Why is it on "secret?"
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    #6
    ummm I'm confused....so he has his profile hidden but is still logging in and using it? but he's not talking to me people just looking at them?? id venture to say he's cheating on you and still talking to other girls.
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    #7
    his profile is hidden on the site and he says he doesnt message anyone. now on his facebook he has our photos and hes in a relationship with me, i have met all his friends, i meet his captain and xo, attended a best friends wedding in san diego with him and hes flying me over to okinawa in may. trust me im confused about this on and since ive mention pof hes not been back on the site. he says it has to do with a mentality hes has since a kid of him always being single till i came along and now hes trying to change that. he does have some memory loss and signs of ptsd and ive had to teach some of the basic rules with dating to him
  8. I miss Target & Trader Joe's, open roads & the smell of home
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    #8
    Quote Originally Posted by kcollege2008 View Post
    his profile is hidden on the site and he says he doesnt message anyone. now on his facebook he has our photos and hes in a relationship with me, i have met all his friends, i meet his captain and xo, attended a best friends wedding in san diego with him and hes flying me over to okinawa in may. trust me im confused about this on and since ive mention pof hes not been back on the site. he says it has to do with a mentality hes has since a kid of him always being single till i came along and now hes trying to change that. he does have some memory loss and signs of ptsd and ive had to teach some of the basic rules with dating to him
    I would be wary of the bolded.
  9. Quis custodiet ipsos custodes?
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    #9
    I think people watching on a dating site is suspicious. And you know, after I was exclusive with DH I kept my OKCupid profile for a long time, but I wasn't people watching on it, I liked having it because it had our first conversations with each other there. When he told me it bothered him, I deleted it immediately.

    Between that and the single mentality thing (which doesn't really make sense - since he was a kid? doesn't everyone feel single when they're a kid ) it sounds fishy. Almost like he's pretending to not know what to do so he can get away with it and be like "oh gee is THIS how it's supposed to work, shucks how silly of me!" when you find out. I would be VERY communicative and clear about what your expectations and boundaries are if you proceed.
  10. The name says it all!
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    #10
    Quote Originally Posted by Tojai View Post
    I think people watching on a dating site is suspicious. And you know, after I was exclusive with DH I kept my OKCupid profile for a long time, but I wasn't people watching on it, I liked having it because it had our first conversations with each other there. When he told me it bothered him, I deleted it immediately.

    Between that and the single mentality thing (which doesn't really make sense - since he was a kid? doesn't everyone feel single when they're a kid ) it sounds fishy. Almost like he's pretending to not know what to do so he can get away with it and be like "oh gee is THIS how it's supposed to work, shucks how silly of me!" when you find out. I would be VERY communicative and clear about what your expectations and boundaries are if you proceed.

    DH: Thank you. ME: For what, babe? DH: For being you.




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