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Thread: How come some women can't handle Military relationships?

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    #1

    Grumpy How come some women can't handle Military relationships?

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    My close friend whose been in the Marines for about 2 years now, was talking to me about his past relationships. & he brought up this girl who broke up with him when he graduated bootcamp. he said her reason for breaking up with him was because she cant handle being with someone in the military, but she was constantly saying how she wanted to be with him, but it would be hard to stay faithful, with him being so far, & she has needs, but she loved him so much, blah blah blah. so, this really got me heated. she said that she loved him, but couldnt stay faithful because of her "needs' -.- really... in my opinion, if you love someone, you'd do anything for them, including wait for them, for as long as it takes. i just don't get women like this.
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    #2
    Quote Originally Posted by Joshelle View Post
    My close friend whose been in the Marines for about 2 years now, was talking to me about his past relationships. & he brought up this girl who broke up with him when he graduated bootcamp. he said her reason for breaking up with him was because she cant handle being with someone in the military, but she was constantly saying how she wanted to be with him, but it would be hard to stay faithful, with him being so far, & she has needs, but she loved him so much, blah blah blah. so, this really got me heated. she said that she loved him, but couldnt stay faithful because of her "needs' -.- really... in my opinion, if you love someone, you'd do anything for them, including wait for them, for as long as it takes. i just don't get women like this.
    - seems like an odd thing to be so worked up about considering you were not either party in the relationship - -
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    #3
    If she couldn't stay faithful, that's because she sucks at fidelity, not because of the military.

    I do think there are people who don't have the disposition to deal with some of the military's unique challenges, and there's nothing wrong with a woman (or man- just said woman since that's what the thread was about ) recognizing that in herself and moving on instead of setting a relationship up for failure. Love doesn't conquer all.
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    #4
    Quote Originally Posted by Ol' Grey Mare View Post
    - seems like an odd thing to be so worked up about considering you were not either party in the relationship - -
    she was the love of his life. & hes helped me so much with dating my DB, since i was new to dating a marine and all. it hurts to see him still dwelling on something like that, she cut him off in such a harsh way.
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    #5
    Some *people* (not just women) choose not to marry someone who will be gone for long periods of the marriage. That's not just a military thing. I chose to marry my husband, because I love him and the separation is worth it. Others choose not to make a lifetime commitment to someone who will be gone, be in danger, be moving all the time. I don't blame them. She's being honest with herself and true to herself. Just because he made the commitment to serve and sacrifice doesn't mean she has to. They weren't married, so what's the big deal?
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    #6
    Yeah, in a perfect world if you love someone you will do anything for them, but just because she can't handle being in a military relationship doesn't mean she's a bad person. At least she recognized it and didn't stay with him and cheat. I think you're getting way too worked up over someone else's relationship. It has nothing to do with the military. Some people don't see themselves being happy in certain lifestyles and that is okay. He will find someone who can make him happy!
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    #7
    Honestly I'd rather have my SO tell me straight up that they can't handle the military and the long absences that come along with it and being faithful.

    I'd rather be told that upfront instead of staying in a relationship that will end with cheating or lies or however.
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    #8
    Quote Originally Posted by TheSisterWife View Post
    I do think there are people who don't have the disposition to deal with some of the military's unique challenges, and there's nothing wrong with a woman (or man- just said woman since that's what the thread was about ) recognizing that in herself and moving on instead of setting a relationship up for failure. Love doesn't conquer all.
    Quote Originally Posted by Reagan View Post
    Yeah, in a perfect world if you love someone you will do anything for them, but just because she can't handle being in a military relationship doesn't mean she's a bad person. At least she recognized it and didn't stay with him and cheat. I think you're getting way too worked up over someone else's relationship. It has nothing to do with the military. Some people don't see themselves being happy in certain lifestyles and that is okay. He will find someone who can make him happy!
    nothing is wrong with her saying that she couldn't handle it and walking away, even if he did love her so much. Love does not conquer all or ensure that they can be happy together. Why should she stay in a relationship that she has decides will make her and him unhappy?
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    #9
    thank you everyone, i understand now. i guess my protective instincts are too much right now. haha. i just want him to be happy, he really deserves it.
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    #10
    The title is a really odd statement. Why should every woman be able to handle the same things? It's quite a strange concept when you start thinking of it applied to other things. Every woman should: be able to handle being a mother? be able to handle being a surgeon? be able to handle working with abused foster children? People are diverse and are able to handle/not handle different things. I think it's often quite mature to realize you don't want a certain behavior or circumstance or person in your life if it will make you unhappy or make your life unnecessarily difficult.
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