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Thread: Has anyone else had this experience??

  1. Fresh Newbie
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    #1

    Duh Has anyone else had this experience??

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    Hi, so I posted a month ago about how my boyfriend wanted to break up because he was graduating and was going to a new base.
    He said it was because the distance and didn't know if he can see where we were going in the future. I accepted it, I was keeping my distance and talked to him bare minimum so I could move on.
    I talked to him the other day about my job as he has some first hand experience on something and I wanted advice.

    Then, he proceeded to tell me he was scared before and thinks he had possibly made the biggest mistake thus far in his life...etc.

    Does this happen often??
  2. OG Member
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    #2
    It sounds like he's pretty indecisive about your relationship in general. For *ME* that would not be ok because if he doesn't know he wants to be with me, distance or no distance, then that's not a person I'm willing to invest my time and emotions in. Ultimately, you have to determine if you feel he's sincere and that he's not going to up and change his mind about your relationship everytime there is a milestone in your lives.


  3. Vandelay Industries
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    #3
    To me, this doesn't really sound like a 'military problem'. In fact, it sounds exactly what happened to me a few months ago except I was the one that broke up with my boyfriend. We spent 8 months apart and I regretted it every day and he took me back. So...if you still care about him and it feels right, do what you feel is best.
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    #4
    I don't know if it happens often, but honestly, I wouldn't have time for these type of games. He breaks up with you because of the distance and didn't know where things with you were going in the future? I firmly believe if someone wants you in his life, he will fight to have you there, no matter what the circumstances are. What if things get rough again? What if he faces deployment, etc? Is he going to questions things again then and break up? And then rethink it again? That's what I would be asking myself.
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    #5
    My ex did this on & off to me for 3 years. Based on my personal experience, I wouldn't take him back if I were you.
    "You think you know what you're looking for, till what you're looking for finds you."
  6. Senior Member
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    #6
    I think it does happen often in military and non military relationships, but that doesn't make it okay. He saw what he lost, but if you go back now he'll see he can just do it over and over when he gets bored and he can have you back whenever he feels like it.
  7. Senior Member
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    #7
    Quote Originally Posted by augusta View Post
    To me, this doesn't really sound like a 'military problem'. In fact, it sounds exactly what happened to me a few months ago except I was the one that broke up with my boyfriend. We spent 8 months apart and I regretted it every day and he took me back. So...if you still care about him and it feels right, do what you feel is best.
    Don't take my previous post personal, I definitely don't think you were playing games like this type of behavior usually is.
  8. MilitarySOS Jewel
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    #8
    it think this depends a lot on you and him and who you are as people. my ex did this to me, broke up when he moved away, but over the past two years we've stayed good friends and are now considering getting back together. but that only happened after a lot of open conversation about why he did it in the first place and figured out some issues that needed to be resolved before trying to work again.
  9. Quis custodiet ipsos custodes?
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    #9
    I do think it is not uncommon for that to happen. Even if when someone breaks up with someone for the "right" reasons/legitimate reasons, it's still painful and puts them out of the comfort zone. It is not uncommon for them to want to have that comfort zone back ... whether it's because they really are now in a place to give the relationship a shot, or if they're just lonely in general and bad at re-building their life without their ex, it's really a tossup.

    Personally I've never got back together with anyone I dumped (well, there was a really stupid relationship where we were bad at the whole "not a couple anymore" thing but I dont' count it as trying again) and I don't think I would, but it definitely happens sometimes! I would be cautious about putting myself out there again though, and suspicious about what they really want.
  10. "If you don't like my attitude, quit talking to me"
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    #10
    I don't know if its 'common' but it does happen.

    I think the fact he realized his mistake says something. If you have feelings for him, there is no harm in trying again. Just protect yourself so you aren't heartbroken.

    There are 10 types of people in the world, those that understand binary and those that don't
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