Military Significant Others and Spouse Support - MilitarySOS.com
Page 1 of 3 123 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 29

Thread: Hasn't contacted in 2 days...getting worried.

  1. Fresh Newbie
    arangersgirl's Avatar
    arangersgirl is offline
    Fresh Newbie
    Join Date
    Dec 2013
    Location
    Me: SA, TX Him: EP, TX
    Posts
    10
    #1

    Hasn't contacted in 2 days...getting worried.

    Advertisements
    Hey all.

    So my bf and I are long distance. I recently went to visit him for a few days during Thanksgiving break. During one of those days, I broke down wondering where the relationship was going and he said not to keep thinking/expect us to break up all the time. One of his friends told me that I'm the first serious girl he's talked about in a while. We've been together for 3 and a half months. Idk if he was turned off by my breaking down or whenever we'd go out drinking, he realized I get super friendly and handy when I'm drunk. He told me "that's the kind of attitude (my drunk behavior) that worries me" because he's been cheated on with girlfriends who said "I was drunk, I couldn't control myself." I told him I was sorry and we got over it. For the rest of the trip, everything went fine.

    I went home Sunday. He texted me the next day asking how the trip back was and when I said I was safe, he said "good to hear." We had a short conversation. Wednesday was the last day he texted me. On Thursday, he liked one of my statuses on FB, but that's about the only "contact" we've had since then. He's on FB, so I know he has the time to text or call, but idk. We usually text every day. Sometimes he'd disappear for a day, but we'd go back to talking the next day. We have a pretty good relationship and we barely fight. When we do, we compromise and talk about it right away. Sometimes he can be bad at communicating, but even his friends have told me "sometimes it seem like he doesn't care, but he cares a lot. that's just his personality." He's also a very independent guy. I've had clingy boyfriends in the past and it's different that he isn't as sensitive or attentive as my last boyfriends.

    He's in the army and I know that they have odd hours. Before I left, he told me that he'd be busy this week because he's going to be doing this markmanship training for a badge. He said that he really wants to make sure that he gets everything right because if he gets one wrong step, he won't receive it.

    Is he just stressed from training? Am I over thinking things? Should I wait for him to text first? Or should I text him? Idk what to do. The first week after visits are always hard for me to adjust and I'm trying hard not to get clingy like I did last time where I jumped the gun and yelled at him for days on end. It's just really annoying when I see that he's on FB and he can't find the time to text me these past two days. Today's the third day...so I'll see. It's also been really hard this week because my friends have been acting like jerks and telling me to break up with him because of the way that he's "acting." They've been doing that for a month now and it's getting really annoying.

    Please help
    Last edited by arangersgirl; 12-07-2013 at 07:38 PM.
  2. We must have pie. Stress can't exist in the presence of pie.
    StuckInKorea's Avatar
    StuckInKorea is offline
    We must have pie. Stress can't exist in the presence of pie.
    Join Date
    Dec 2013
    Location
    Camp Humphreys
    Posts
    127
    #2
    I know a lot of men like that. If it's just his personality and his friends say it isn't anything odd, I wouldn't worry about it. Don't be your worst enemy, I'd just give him space and then talk to him later about it. Some men need space and feel like they are suffocating if they are in constant contact.
  3. MilitarySOS Jewel
    lavender_jane's Avatar
    lavender_jane is offline
    MilitarySOS Jewel
    Join Date
    May 2009
    Posts
    4,252

    #3
    Since he told you specifically that he would be busy with an important thing this week I would not think anything of his "behavior" right now. If you want to text him something wishing him luck or some kind of encouragement that doesn't imply you're waiting for a response or some attention I think that would be nice. To me, it reads like your insecurities from your missteps during your trip are getting to you when everything is really normal and fine.

    ETA - I reread this and it might come off as a rude tone, but that wasn't intended I swear!
    Last edited by lavender_jane; 12-07-2013 at 01:56 PM.
  4. I miss Target & Trader Joe's, open roads & the smell of home
    be: pistachio's Avatar
    be: pistachio is offline
    I miss Target & Trader Joe's, open roads & the smell of home
    Join Date
    Nov 2012
    Location
    Let's be honest; Okinawa is not Japan.
    Posts
    3,717

    #4
    Quote Originally Posted by arangersgirl View Post
    Hey all.

    So my bf and I are long distance. I recently went to visit him for a few days during Thanksgiving break. During one of those days, I broke down wondering where the relationship was going and he said not to keep thinking/expect us to break up all the time. One of his friends told me that I'm the first serious girl he's talked about in a while. We've been together for 3 and a half months. Idk if he was turned off by my breaking down or whenever we'd go out drinking, I'd act stupid. He told me "that's the kind of attitude that worries me." I told him I was sorry and we got over it. For the rest of the trip, everything went fine.

    I went home Sunday. He texted me the next day asking how the trip back was and when I said I was safe, he said "good to hear." We had a short conversation. Wednesday was the last day he texted me. On Thursday, he liked one of my statuses on FB, but that's about the only "contact" we've had since then. He's on FB, so I know he has the time to text or call, but idk. We usually text every day. Sometimes he'd disappear for a day, but we'd go back to talking the next day. We have a pretty good relationship and we barely fight. When we do, we compromise and talk about it right away. Sometimes he can be bad at communicating, but even his friends have told me "sometimes it seem like he doesn't care, but he cares a lot. that's just his personality." He's also a very independent guy. I've had clingy boyfriends in the past and it's different that he isn't as sensitive or attentive as my last boyfriends.

    He's in the army and I know that they have odd hours. Before I left, he told me that he'd be busy this week because he's going to be doing this markmanship training for a badge. He said that he really wants to make sure that he gets everything right because if he gets one wrong step, he won't receive it.

    Is he just stressed from training? Am I over thinking things? Should I wait for him to text first? Or should I text him? Idk what to do. The first week after visits are always hard for me to adjust and I'm trying hard not to get clingy like I did last time where I jumped the gun and yelled at him for days on end. It's just really annoying when I see that he's on FB and he can't find the time to text me these past two days. Today's the third day...so I'll see. It's also been really hard this week because my friends have been acting like jerks and telling me to break up with him because of the way that he's "acting." They've been doing that for a month now and it's getting really annoying.

    Please help
    He told you he wold be busy, so I would not be worried about that. When is the training over? I would shoot him a text either wishing him luck or asking how it went
  5. scotlandgrl53
    eelizah's Avatar
    eelizah is offline
    scotlandgrl53
    Join Date
    Jun 2011
    Location
    Fort Polk
    Posts
    4,258
    Blog Entries
    1
    #5
    I agree with maybe just texting him hey and hoping his training is going well but don't necessarily expect a long conversation. He warned you he would be busy so I would try and stay relaxed.
    I need a
    a
    I don't have forever or

    So don't let me



    I AshleyO
  6. Fresh Newbie
    arangersgirl's Avatar
    arangersgirl is offline
    Fresh Newbie
    Join Date
    Dec 2013
    Location
    Me: SA, TX Him: EP, TX
    Posts
    10
    #6
    Thanks for the reassurance. He said that training will be for a week. I just hate that I have this nagging feeling that he doesn't want to be with me anymore because of the way I acted when I visited him. I also was a bit rude to him earlier this week and I feel like that may have added fuel to the "fire." I told him that I was sorry. I know I over think too much and it doesn't help that my friends are feeding negative energy to me. I just texted him about 15 min ago and haven't received a reply...I guess I'll wait. This anticipation is killing me for some reason and I don't know why.
  7. The Dude Abides
    Sarahcuda's Avatar
    Sarahcuda is offline
    The Dude Abides
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
    Posts
    3,225
    #7
    Quote Originally Posted by arangersgirl View Post
    Hey all.

    So my bf and I are long distance. I recently went to visit him for a few days during Thanksgiving break. During one of those days, I broke down wondering where the relationship was going and he said not to keep thinking/expect us to break up all the time. One of his friends told me that I'm the first serious girl he's talked about in a while. We've been together for 3 and a half months. Idk if he was turned off by my breaking down or whenever we'd go out drinking, I'd act stupid. He told me "that's the kind of attitude that worries me." I told him I was sorry and we got over it. For the rest of the trip, everything went fine.

    I went home Sunday. He texted me the next day asking how the trip back was and when I said I was safe, he said "good to hear." We had a short conversation. Wednesday was the last day he texted me. On Thursday, he liked one of my statuses on FB, but that's about the only "contact" we've had since then. He's on FB, so I know he has the time to text or call, but idk. We usually text every day. Sometimes he'd disappear for a day, but we'd go back to talking the next day. We have a pretty good relationship and we barely fight. When we do, we compromise and talk about it right away. Sometimes he can be bad at communicating, but even his friends have told me "sometimes it seem like he doesn't care, but he cares a lot. that's just his personality." He's also a very independent guy. I've had clingy boyfriends in the past and it's different that he isn't as sensitive or attentive as my last boyfriends.

    He's in the army and I know that they have odd hours. Before I left, he told me that he'd be busy this week because he's going to be doing this markmanship training for a badge. He said that he really wants to make sure that he gets everything right because if he gets one wrong step, he won't receive it.

    Is he just stressed from training? Am I over thinking things? Should I wait for him to text first? Or should I text him? Idk what to do. The first week after visits are always hard for me to adjust and I'm trying hard not to get clingy like I did last time where I jumped the gun and yelled at him for days on end. It's just really annoying when I see that he's on FB and he can't find the time to text me these past two days. Today's the third day...so I'll see. It's also been really hard this week because my friends have been acting like jerks and telling me to break up with him because of the way that he's "acting." They've been doing that for a month now and it's getting really annoying.

    Please help
    To be honest (I apologize if it comes off harshly), the bolded is kind of intense behavior. He may feel that 3.5 months is too early to begin talking about where the relationship is going, and may have wanted some space to clear his head (especially if it turned into a big deal). Just give him some time, and work on things to distract yourself so that you get a break from the worry! Many guys love to see that their girlfriends are doing things on their own and thriving, even under LDR circumstances.

    Also, ignore your friends. Unless the relationship puts you in some sort of peril, they have no say over it.
  8. Fresh Newbie
    arangersgirl's Avatar
    arangersgirl is offline
    Fresh Newbie
    Join Date
    Dec 2013
    Location
    Me: SA, TX Him: EP, TX
    Posts
    10
    #8
    Sarahcuda - I know that it was bad behavior on my part, which is why I haven't done it since then. It was only a one time occurrence. Ever since I got home, I've gotten back to focusing on school and hanging out with my friends. I've done LDR before, but it's that negative energy from my friends that's making me wish he'd shoot me at least one text without me having to initiate to show he's still interested. I guess my inner demons from my last relationship (on an off for 5 years) makes me scared that he'll leave too and it causes me to think that way as well. But anyway...I'll do what I can to not worry. He still hasn't texted me back, but I'll wait, I guess.
  9. Hakuna♥Matata's Avatar
    Hakuna♥Matata is offline
    Banned
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Posts
    9,847
    #9
    OP, just curious your name implies your DB is a ranger, but your location says he's in Texas. How is that possible since there is no Ranger Regiment stationed there?
  10. Fresh Newbie
    arangersgirl's Avatar
    arangersgirl is offline
    Fresh Newbie
    Join Date
    Dec 2013
    Location
    Me: SA, TX Him: EP, TX
    Posts
    10
    #10
    He is, but hmm...he's stationed in Fort Bliss. I know he went through ranger school in fort benning last year and his uniform says it on the side. Idk...
Page 1 of 3 123 LastLast

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •