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Thread: Pros and cons of military lifestyle

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    #1

    Pros and cons of military lifestyle

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    Well my BF has been talking about marriage alot lately. He has made it very clear that he is ready and he loves my daughter and I. He told me a few days ago he want me make sure I can handle the military life style and deployments. He goes on his first deployment soon. I have no experience with the military so it had me thinking maybe I can come ask you all what are the pros and cons for you with the military lifestyle? How is it as a wife/husband? How is it as far as raising children? Do children have a hard time adjusting? Is it lonely or do you overall enjoy it? Is moving so often hard or do you like the experience of new places? Etc. Please any advise would be greatly appreciate
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    #2
    DH and I are mil to mil and have a 6 month old daughter. For us its not a lifestyle its just our job like any other job. We go to work, daughter goes to daycare, we go home. We are moving to Turkey in a couple months and it will be the same thing there.
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    #3
    Moving often is hard for me. As a military child, it wasn't hard at all, though my dad got out before I started junior high, which is probably when it would have started to get tough.

    I think it absolutely depend son your personality. You have to be willing to be independent and handle every part of your own business. You have to be able to be happy and complete and full when you are on your own.

    There are days and times where it is tough, but overall, I really don't think it's a big deal. For us, the adventure, the job stability and decent pay, and being together for a lot of interesting, incredible things far outweigh any bad.
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    #4
    I think when people refer to the military lifestyle... just like anything else in life, it has to take a certain person to succeed at something like this.

    On one level, yes, it is just a job. BUT... at least for me, it requires a certain person to handle the difficult aspects that are thrown at you in order to make the situation successful.

    So I know what he means when he says "be able to handle the lifestyle" yet in essence it is just a job. Probably no more than if he was a celebrity, CEO, or whatever and wanted to know if you could handle the impact his job would have on your life.

    I think for the most part, with the military - you have to be flexible, and have good coping skills or develop them if you don't have them already. Good communication skills is always a work in progress. Yet, at the end of it, it's really just about finding someone to be with you through thick and thin & an unpredictable future. If there is that level of commitment (which can be tested in more ways than the typical civilian relationship), then you're probably fine.

    My husband is geo-bacheloring and we are fine. At the beginning I doubted myself but I'm very independent & have learned deployments and separations have empowered me to be the grown woman I am today compared to the 17 year old kid I was when I started dating DH. I'm a romantic at heart and I hate giving up on things, so I was never the type to be like "I don't like this... you're out." Ultimatums were never my thing, I just went with it. Not to say I didn't drive him nuts at time (and vice versa with all the unpredictability), but it is what it is.

    Even now, I can't plan my weekends out to far in advance. Maybe a couple weeks... MAYBE. But we are nearing retirement so I look forward to the day that I can actually plan my future with a little more certainty.

    Right now my life looks like this: "Well, if X happens, then Y will happen, but if X doesn't happen, Y may still happen but then Z may affect Y." Not everyone is cut out to handle YEARS of that.
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    #5
    Thank you guys for replying. This gives me alot to think about. I am very independent so I don't think him being away from home will bother me enough I where I will be miserable. The moving around with a toddler kinda worries me though. How often have you guys moved?
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    #6
    I've moved four times in 13 years... More frequently if you count house to house but not states. To be honest it's easier to move with a toddler
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    #7
    Oh ok. That not to bad. Thank you
  8. Quis custodiet ipsos custodes?
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    #8
    It's different for everyone based on a lot of factors but I read that the average family PCSes every 3 years. I've heard they are trying to lengthen that time though.
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    #9
    What is PCS?
  10. Quis custodiet ipsos custodes?
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    #10
    PCS = Permanent Change of Station, that's when the servicemember is moved to a different location (station)
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