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Thread: Unsure...am I alone on this?

  1. Regular Member
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    #1

    Help Unsure...am I alone on this?

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    I love my Db...we both went through so pretty rough breakups before coming across each other. He had his now ex-fiance cheat on him during deployment and then again when he got new orders to move down to Eustis. I had my heart broken for the legitimate FIRST time (I had petty heartbreaks before, but I thought I was going to MARRY my ex). They both happened around the same time, and we were both starting to move on around the SAME TIME! Anyways, he seems to be moving so fast and he is already talking about marriage and moving on base. I feel silly for being afraid of someone loving me like that. I have loved a person (like, wanting to marry them) before, but I have never had another person feel this way about me. It feels amazing, but scary. And we have been together for, well...not long at all. I love him so much because of what we have gone through together and helped each other through and how we just click together. I have never felt more comfortable around a person or so myself around a person before Daniel.

    Why am I so afraid of how I feel and how he feels about me if I am so happy with him?
  2. Miss Suit&Tie
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    #2
    Oh trust me you're not alone AT ALL!!

    My last breakup was over a really shitty situation that neither of us could prevent and I met DB just days after so I hadn't even begun to heal from everything. But he's help me a lot and been there when I needed him too.

    That said, he's also been talking about future things. Nothing too scary at first, but lately he's been talking about us going on vacation out of the country in 3 years, us moving to his hometown when he gets out.

    It's adorable and exciting! But also terrifying. I'm still grieving a bit over what happened and just getting my head wrapped around my new situation. Deep down I know this is the guy I want to make things work for but I need to take is super slow right now...So I told him that and happy he understood me
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    #3
    It's nice to know that I'm not alone! I am not completely over what happened between my ex and I either, and I am so happy that Dan is patient and understands that. I am so happy you found the man you want to make things work for.
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    #4
    My husband (then boyfriend) had thoughts like that way before I did, and in the end it made me love him more. If you're not ready to rush into stuff like that...then don't , but doesn't mean you can't be happy together, and eventually grow to feel similar things as him
  5. Miss Suit&Tie
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    #5
    Well that's the most important thing I think--understanding. I don't think many people would like their SO chatting with their ex and sometimes I do feel judged by others for it. But he knows that we're just friends trying to get better and that's it. Having a partner who can give me that and not get too jealous is a partner worth fighting for!!

    Anyways, I hope you get over what happened with your ex and that your DB is able to fully restore your faith in men and love the way mine is doing for me
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    #6
    Thank you ladies so much!!
  7. KAD
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    #7
    You are most definitely not alone. My guy was like that from the beginning. I had always had someone check out on me either emotionally physically or both. This guy came and this guy has stayed. He has shown me how happy I am that all those people walked out of my life.
    He has talked about marriage and adopting my little girl, and moving with him and getting started on our lives together. I am probably older than you, and being that this was my first time in an LDR and a military relationship all together, I told him from the beginning I was no longer going to waste any time with anyone, that me and my daugther deserved a solid relationship with someone, and especially if it were going to be long distance. But nope everything about our future he has always brought up himself. I have not pushed any issues or any ideas I have let him take the lead on his own feelings.
    Sure I agree it's very scary, kind of like too good to be true, because no one has ever treated me that way as well. I think it's perfectly normal for you to feel that way also, but I agree with Caity Rose's post, him treating me this great and wanting the things he does, has only made me love him more.
    I'm happy you found someone that makes you happy!
  8. Old Newbie
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    #8
    I have been in this exact situation... And my DB name is the same and from Ft. Eustis!

    Sometimes you get used to people treating you not the way you deserve and when someone comes along that actually appreciates you, you feel like it's too good to be true? But maybe just go with the flow, don't rush but don't be afraid of good things.
  9. Quis custodiet ipsos custodes?
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    #9
    I relate to a lot of what you post too. DH was cheated on by his ex-DF when he was deployed in Iraq and it really took a toll on him. He still has some scars from that experience to this day.

    I have some scars too, he was the first person I seriously dated after I got divorced. I definitely understand what you mean about it being scary for someone to love you so much. Letting someone in and building a serious relationship is a big risk to take, of course it is scary. Don't be afraid to let him know how you feel! If you need to take things slower that's ok. DH moved a bit fast for me, I had to ask him to slow down and even told him no the first time he proposed because I didn't feel like either of us were ready. He understood and asked again when we were both in the right place to get married. It's totally ok to need more time to get comfortable and to take things slow. My PM box is always open if you ever need to talk.

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