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Thread: when is it ok to ask...

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    #1

    when is it ok to ask...

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    So i have been dating this guy for about 3 weeks but we've decided to take it slow and not jump into a relationship however we have been sleeping together. So when/ how would it be ok to ask if he's sleeping with other people? I know this prob sounds really silly but honestly the idea of sleeping with someone who is sleeping with someone else grosses me out lol but at the same time i dont want to make him feel like im trying to rush or push for a relationship...
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    #2
    For me, before sleeping together, whenever that is. Honestly, first or second date would be fair game imo.
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    #3
    I think if you're already sleeping together it's a fair question. Even if you want to approach it from from a "safety" standpoint (STD's, etc), it's good to know if he has any other current sexual partners.


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    #4
    Quote Originally Posted by Katayoun View Post
    For me, before sleeping together, whenever that is. Honestly, first or second date would be fair game imo.
    thanks thats what ive always done in the past but he has stressed taking it slow so much im a little worried of sounding pushy.
    Quote Originally Posted by *YDoIGrowPeople* View Post
    I think if you're already sleeping together it's a fair question. Even if you want to approach it from from a "safety" standpoint (STD's, etc), it's good to know if he has any other current sexual partners.
    that actually totally is what im thinking of and why the thought of it grosses me out.

    so how do i ask without sounding like im pushing for a relationship?
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    #5
    Honey, if he thinks you're being pushy by asking, he's not the guy for you.
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    #6
    One of my relationships started off this way. Just be prepared if he says no.




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    #7
    I'd say the fact that you are sleeping together makes that question fair game
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    #8
    Quote Originally Posted by Katayoun View Post
    Honey, if he thinks you're being pushy by asking, he's not the guy for you.
    This, exactly. lol You have every right to know something like that and if he doesn't understand that then there's a bigger issue.

    Personally, I would say something like, "I know we are not in an actual exclusive relationship, but I would like to make sure that I am the only one you are actually sleeping with. I'm comfortable not being in a relationship, not so comfortable sleeping with someone if they're sleeping with other people." But i'm kind of an up front person, especially when it comes to stuff like that. I try not to leave any room for confusion. And if he can't handle hearing that you're uncomfortable with that then he doesn't deserve getting to sleep with you. lol
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    #9
    If you don't know, which it's obvious you don't, I'd say any time is okay to ask. Not just for the relationship's sake but for the safety of your own health.

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    #10
    Quote Originally Posted by Katayoun View Post
    Honey, if he thinks you're being pushy by asking, he's not the guy for you.
    true lol
    Quote Originally Posted by Whitla View Post
    One of my relationships started off this way. Just be prepared if he says no.
    him saying no would be a good thing i dont want him to be sleeping with other people.
    Quote Originally Posted by Larkin24 View Post
    This, exactly. lol You have every right to know something like that and if he doesn't understand that then there's a bigger issue.

    Personally, I would say something like, "I know we are not in an actual exclusive relationship, but I would like to make sure that I am the only one you are actually sleeping with. I'm comfortable not being in a relationship, not so comfortable sleeping with someone if they're sleeping with other people." But i'm kind of an up front person, especially when it comes to stuff like that. I try not to leave any room for confusion. And if he can't handle hearing that you're uncomfortable with that then he doesn't deserve getting to sleep with you. lol
    i actually really like the way you put that. im usually pretty straight forward too but im often told i come off as a bitch
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