Military Significant Others and Spouse Support - MilitarySOS.com
Page 1 of 5 1234 ... LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 44

Thread: Is it disrespectful?

  1. 1/2 hippie, 1/2 diva... all Jersey
    sweetvanity's Avatar
    sweetvanity is offline
    1/2 hippie, 1/2 diva... all Jersey
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    Location
    VA
    Posts
    9,370
    #1

    Is it disrespectful?

    Advertisements
    So I have a friend from HS who is obsessed with-- and I do mean obsessed-- a celebrity (Orlando Bloom). She has been since we were in HS, and continues to be now that we are in our early 30's. I mean, she's got the posters, the pez dispensers, the "Future Mrs. Greenleaf/Bloom" shirts etc... Don't get me wrong, I don't actually care about her celebrity crush. It's just been a part of the norm of our friendship for like... 15 yrs or so. However, she's married now (has been for about 5 years) and he hubby bears absolutely NO resemblence to Mr. Bloom. I don't really care about their relationship or what's okay or not... clearly it's not something that's causing a huge issue b/c their marriage is fine.


    But it got me thinking... What if I did that? Or what if DH did that?
    When I thought about it for me/us, it seemed like something pretty disrespectful. I guess I just wondered if anyone else thought it was kinda disrespectful to openly oogles drool over another man like that-- even a celebrity? I mean, I know DH thinks Jessica Alba is essentially the hottest woman under the sun, but he doesn't point it out 24/7. If he did, I think I would start to feel a little because I know I'll never look like that and I want him to think I'm beautiful. IDK. Am I making sense? I'm fully open to the possibility that I'm just a weirdo with an overly large sense of fidelity.

    So what about you? Would it be okay for you in your relationship?

    www.SnarkyFit.com
  2. Senior Member
    Ajax's Avatar
    Ajax is offline
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2012
    Posts
    2,731
    #2
    I agree. It's disrespectful. My self esteem would take a huge hit from it, too. Plus, if someone has that much time to invest that much into someone and/or something, then how much attention do they really have left for our marriage, y'know?

    wouldn't work between DH and I.

    ETA: Also, I don't like people with obsessive personalities. I knew a girl in HS that was obsessed with blue and the Jonas Brothers. like... everything she owned was blue and/or something related to the JBs. To this day, she's the same way. I just... I don't understand. I mean, I know it's her personality, but I wouldn't be able to handle it.
    if i never see you again i will always carry you
    inside outside

    on my fingertips and at brain edges

    and in centers
    centers of what i am of what remains
    --- charles bukowski.

    time to eas, baby!
  3. Senior Member
    Heisenberg's Avatar
    Heisenberg is offline
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    May 2011
    Location
    South Florida
    Posts
    16,413
    #3
    Uhhh if my husband did anything that crazy I would think it was really weird. I even think its weird when high schoolers do it. Honestly I don't think I could even be with somebody like that, not even because of self esteem issues, I just think that's incredibly strange to be that obsessed with a celebrity.
  4. Account Closed
    His*PITA*'s Avatar
    His*PITA* is offline
    Account Closed
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    Location
    Somewhere over a rainbow
    Posts
    69,415
    #4
    I think its one of those things that depend on the relationship. I have never found anyone that appealing that I would feel the need or want to do that, celebrity or otherwise. However I have friends who openly talk about how if they ever had the chance, they would hook up with their celeb crushes and they are serious.

    If it works for the marriage, knock your socks off. If its causing an issue, obviously something needs to be worked out and boundaries need to be set.
  5. "If you don't like my attitude, quit talking to me"
    TrishAFSpouse's Avatar
    TrishAFSpouse is offline
    "If you don't like my attitude, quit talking to me"
    Join Date
    Jan 2011
    Location
    VA
    Posts
    12,308
    #5
    Maybe i'm confused with the question.

    Are you asking is it disrespectful for a spouse to have a fantasy or obsession over a celebrity?

    If that's the question, then no. I mean, it becomes disrespectful if that obsession or fantasy affects their reality, but to most (or many) the celebrity is unattainable, a fiction, not real. My husband is infatuated with Alyssa Milano, has been since they day we met. If he thought posters and the such were normal for his age he would still have them all over. His obsession of her doesn't affect our relationship. Granted, if she were 'attainable' I'm sure I would see it differently, but she is far out of his league and he knows that. I honestly just see no harm in it. As long as it isn't affecting their relationship then I don't see the big deal.

    There are 10 types of people in the world, those that understand binary and those that don't
  6. Ummmmm...........
    Abbynormal's Avatar
    Abbynormal is offline
    Ummmmm...........
    Join Date
    Nov 2011
    Location
    San Diego, CA
    Posts
    8,438
    Blog Entries
    1

    #6
    From what you have posted it sounds like she has more than a celeb crush/fantasy. It seems like an infatuation or obsession and if I was her spouse I would be pretty concerned. Maybe not that she would cheat on me or anything but I don't know I wouldn't want my husband putting that much time, thought, or energy into a person that is not me (hell, I wouldn't want DH to act like that towards me ) or his children.

    But, as PITA said if it's working for them, then that's fine. I just know I wouldn't be okay with anything like that from my husband.
  7. Come along with me, misery loves company.
    gogogadgetsam's Avatar
    gogogadgetsam is offline
    Come along with me, misery loves company.
    Join Date
    Mar 2012
    Location
    Connecticut
    Posts
    5,148

    #7
    As long as its not stalker status or he's not trying to "mold" me to look like whomever then I don't really care.
  8. 1/2 hippie, 1/2 diva... all Jersey
    sweetvanity's Avatar
    sweetvanity is offline
    1/2 hippie, 1/2 diva... all Jersey
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    Location
    VA
    Posts
    9,370
    #8
    Quote Originally Posted by Abbynormal View Post
    From what you have posted it sounds like she has more than a celeb crush/fantasy. It seems like an infatuation or obsession and if I was her spouse I would be pretty concerned. Maybe not that she would cheat on me or anything but I don't know I wouldn't want my husband putting that much time, thought, or energy into a person that is not me (hell, I wouldn't want DH to act like that towards me ) or his children.

    But, as PITA said if it's working for them, then that's fine. I just know I wouldn't be okay with anything like that from my husband.

    Yeah, my issue isn't with them... whatever. I was talking about wondering if that would be "okay" or weird for me/you/us here.

    www.SnarkyFit.com
  9. Account Closed
    Lynn's Avatar
    Lynn is offline
    Account Closed
    Join Date
    Mar 2011
    Location
    It could be worse.
    Posts
    29,398
    #9
    No, I don't find it disrespectful. I actually find it empowering that even with other people in this world that are obviously better looking than I am, my husband is clearly by my side and very much in love with me. He's not with me because he's stuck with me or oblivious to others out there; everyday there is something about ME that he chooses ME.
  10. Ummmmm...........
    Abbynormal's Avatar
    Abbynormal is offline
    Ummmmm...........
    Join Date
    Nov 2011
    Location
    San Diego, CA
    Posts
    8,438
    Blog Entries
    1

    #10
    Quote Originally Posted by sweetvanity View Post
    Yeah, my issue isn't with them... whatever. I was talking about wondering if that would be "okay" or weird for me/you/us here.
    No, yeah, I understood and in the next sentence I said I wouldn't be okay with it. I just put that in there so people didn't jump me for saying how f'ed up their marriage is because I DO NOT feel that way
Page 1 of 5 1234 ... LastLast

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •