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Thread: Did my SO dump me and not tell me? No idea what's going on...

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    Confused Did my SO dump me and not tell me? No idea what's going on...

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    I knew from the day I met my marine that he would be leaving in 6 weeks to go to warrant officer basic course, and that after course completion we would be several states apart. None of this stopped us and he completely swept me off my feet. We spent nearly all of the 6 weeks together day/night (work was our main separation period) and just before he left he introduced me to his dad when he came into town. The day he left he told me he wanted to make this work and that I belonged to him and how he wanted me. Weíre not kids, Iím mid-twenties and heís early thirties never been married, no children, live on our own so we are both mature adults. Even though he is extremely busy at wobc, I still got a call or text every day and I was so happy with the amount of time and effort I could see he was putting into the relationship. He had asked me to come visit him in between wobc and mos school and I had been looking at flights, but waiting for his final word on which dates to purchase tickets for. Some difficulties facing us besides separation are a 3 hour time difference, horrible reception, and the wobc demanding schedule. Valentineís Day came and was the best Valentineís Day Iíve ever had even though we were apart. I was on cloud 9, everything was going perfectly. The day after Valentineís I didnít get a call, and then the following day he didnít call me until later in the afternoon. He said he was miserable and I could hear anger in his voice, not with me, but just at how frustrating and difficult wobc and describing how this is the hardest thing he has ever done. I gave all the support, love, honor, and respect I could to him and I just wanted more than anything to make life better for him. The next week he didnít call or text at all during the week, but I still called and texted him. I understood and did not get upset when he called me Saturday, although I did tell him I had really missed him that week. I asked him what dates to purchase plane tickets for and said that he really had not had time to think about it, but would get back to me, that was a month ago. I have written him letters, and didnít know if he received them until one day when I asked and he said he had gotten them and that he liked the stationary. Thatís all he said. I wrote him beautiful and thoughtful letters that took me hours to write and that was the response I got, he didnít even bother to send a text message saying thanks I got your letter. Since then, that has pretty much been the pattern going on (about a month of feeling ignored because there's no way he's too busy to send a text message). I have been patient and understanding, but now know I am just flat out being ignored. I looked at my phone log and saw that in the past 4 weeks he has called me twice without me calling him first. I called him one week ago and he has not returned my call in any way. The last time he sent me a text was over 2 weeks ago, the last time he called me was more than a week ago, the last time he answered an email was almost a month ago, the last time we skyped was a month ago. We did not fight/argue about anything, the last time we spoke the conversation was good. I wrote him a letter at the end of last week saying that I feel like I have been the only one trying and explained how much I need him (I kept it to a page, tried not to get emotional, and explain how I feel) I don't think it has gotten there yet. I donít know what else to do. I feel like if I call he will not answer or return my phone call and if I text the same thing. I feel like Iím dying. I thought he was the one, I truly could see him in my life forever. What should I do? Did he break things off with me and decide not to tell me?
  2. scotlandgrl53
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    Put into paragraphs so it is easier to read

    Quote Originally Posted by mymarineofficer View Post
    I knew from the day I met my marine that he would be leaving in 6 weeks to go to warrant officer basic course, and that after course completion we would be several states apart. None of this stopped us and he completely swept me off my feet. We spent nearly all of the 6 weeks together day/night (work was our main separation period) and just before he left he introduced me to his dad when he came into town. The day he left he told me he wanted to make this work and that I belonged to him and how he wanted me. We’re not kids, I’m mid-twenties and he’s early thirties never been married, no children, live on our own so we are both mature adults. Even though he is extremely busy at wobc, I still got a call or text every day and I was so happy with the amount of time and effort I could see he was putting into the relationship. He had asked me to come visit him in between wobc and mos school and I had been looking at flights, but waiting for his final word on which dates to purchase tickets for. Some difficulties facing us besides separation are a 3 hour time difference, horrible reception, and the wobc demanding schedule. Valentine’s Day came and was the best Valentine’s Day I’ve ever had even though we were apart. I was on cloud 9, everything was going perfectly.

    The day after Valentine’s I didn’t get a call, and then the following day he didn’t call me until later in the afternoon. He said he was miserable and I could hear anger in his voice, not with me, but just at how frustrating and difficult wobc and describing how this is the hardest thing he has ever done. I gave all the support, love, honor, and respect I could to him and I just wanted more than anything to make life better for him. The next week he didn’t call or text at all during the week, but I still called and texted him. I understood and did not get upset when he called me Saturday, although I did tell him I had really missed him that week. I asked him what dates to purchase plane tickets for and said that he really had not had time to think about it, but would get back to me, that was a month ago. I have written him letters, and didn’t know if he received them until one day when I asked and he said he had gotten them and that he liked the stationary. That’s all he said. I wrote him beautiful and thoughtful letters that took me hours to write and that was the response I got, he didn’t even bother to send a text message saying thanks I got your letter.

    Since then, that has pretty much been the pattern going on (about a month of feeling ignored because there's no way he's too busy to send a text message). I have been patient and understanding, but now know I am just flat out being ignored. I looked at my phone log and saw that in the past 4 weeks he has called me twice without me calling him first. I called him one week ago and he has not returned my call in any way. The last time he sent me a text was over 2 weeks ago, the last time he called me was more than a week ago, the last time he answered an email was almost a month ago, the last time we skyped was a month ago. We did not fight/argue about anything, the last time we spoke the conversation was good. I wrote him a letter at the end of last week saying that I feel like I have been the only one trying and explained how much I need him (I kept it to a page, tried not to get emotional, and explain how I feel) I don't think it has gotten there yet. I don’t know what else to do. I feel like if I call he will not answer or return my phone call and if I text the same thing. I feel like I’m dying. I thought he was the one, I truly could see him in my life forever.

    What should I do? Did he break things off with me and decide not to tell me?
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    Ugh, I'm sorry to hear this. It never feels good when you things seem to cool off for no reason. I don't know him, or you for that matter, so please take my opinion with a grain of salt. There is a large possibility that he got overwhelmed with the course and he made the decision to focus on the course. In the crappy way of thought that only guys can produce, maybe he is thinking that he will focus on the course and be able to come back to you when things go a little smoother. Unfortunately, with that thinking you end up being neglected and probably not in the mindset to just pick back up again. That is one scenario. I hate that scenario. It shows that he is self centered and probably not ready for a relationship when obstacles like his career are involved(sad given his age). The other scenario is much harsher, he's just not that into you. I don't say that to be mean, Please don't hate me for saying it. A guy who is head over heels makes time. It's just a fact. Either way, I hope he communicates with you and gives you the respect that you deserve.
  4. scotlandgrl53
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    I'm sorry you are going through this. I honestly don't know much about the warrant officer basic training but are you sure its not possible he got super busy? or even in trouble? I'm not exactly sure but any training like that could have that potential. I really think all you can do is try to communicate with him and the next time you guys have an actual conversation bring it up and ask him. If your letters were really loving and things like that maybe they overwhelmed him or made him homesick. There are just so many things that it could be that I would try to hold off until you can have a conversation with him. I would try calling him or texting him your concerns as well as sending him a letter.
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    Quote Originally Posted by mymarineofficer View Post
    I knew from the day I met my marine that he would be leaving in 6 weeks to go to warrant officer basic course, and that after course completion we would be several states apart. None of this stopped us and he completely swept me off my feet. We spent nearly all of the 6 weeks together day/night (work was our main separation period) and just before he left he introduced me to his dad when he came into town. The day he left he told me he wanted to make this work and that I belonged to him and how he wanted me. We’re not kids, I’m mid-twenties and he’s early thirties never been married, no children, live on our own so we are both mature adults. Even though he is extremely busy at wobc, I still got a call or text every day and I was so happy with the amount of time and effort I could see he was putting into the relationship. He had asked me to come visit him in between wobc and mos school and I had been looking at flights, but waiting for his final word on which dates to purchase tickets for. Some difficulties facing us besides separation are a 3 hour time difference, horrible reception, and the wobc demanding schedule. Valentine’s Day came and was the best Valentine’s Day I’ve ever had even though we were apart. I was on cloud 9, everything was going perfectly. The day after Valentine’s I didn’t get a call, and then the following day he didn’t call me until later in the afternoon. He said he was miserable and I could hear anger in his voice, not with me, but just at how frustrating and difficult wobc and describing how this is the hardest thing he has ever done. I gave all the support, love, honor, and respect I could to him and I just wanted more than anything to make life better for him. The next week he didn’t call or text at all during the week, but I still called and texted him. I understood and did not get upset when he called me Saturday, although I did tell him I had really missed him that week. I asked him what dates to purchase plane tickets for and said that he really had not had time to think about it, but would get back to me, that was a month ago. I have written him letters, and didn’t know if he received them until one day when I asked and he said he had gotten them and that he liked the stationary. That’s all he said. I wrote him beautiful and thoughtful letters that took me hours to write and that was the response I got, he didn’t even bother to send a text message saying thanks I got your letter. Since then, that has pretty much been the pattern going on (about a month of feeling ignored because there's no way he's too busy to send a text message). I have been patient and understanding, but now know I am just flat out being ignored. I looked at my phone log and saw that in the past 4 weeks he has called me twice without me calling him first. I called him one week ago and he has not returned my call in any way. The last time he sent me a text was over 2 weeks ago, the last time he called me was more than a week ago, the last time he answered an email was almost a month ago, the last time we skyped was a month ago. We did not fight/argue about anything, the last time we spoke the conversation was good. I wrote him a letter at the end of last week saying that I feel like I have been the only one trying and explained how much I need him (I kept it to a page, tried not to get emotional, and explain how I feel) I don't think it has gotten there yet. I don’t know what else to do. I feel like if I call he will not answer or return my phone call and if I text the same thing. I feel like I’m dying. I thought he was the one, I truly could see him in my life forever. What should I do? Did he break things off with me and decide not to tell me?
    I think you're dwelling on this way too much. I'm sorry that you haven't heard from him. I remember how agonizing it was at times. I know you say that you've been patient, but considering the situation, a higher level of patience may be necessary.

    Is he still in some kind of training? Its extremely possible that he either doesn't have constant access to a computer or other means of communication, or he's just flat out exhausted from everything going on. It really just depends on where he is and what he's doing right now.
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    No helpful advice just
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    Thanks for the support. You're right eelizah, much easier to read in paragraphs. Nikkiduwop I unfortunately feel like it must be scenario 2 because how could he just ignore me if he really felt like I was the one? L.Biebz <3 he is extremely busy and I know that for sure, but I feel that something is wrong becuase he has not contacted me at all in any way for over a week now and I know he has weekends off though most of it is dedicated to studying, running errands, and prepping for the coming week. I just am at a loss as far as what to do. What would you ladies do in my situation?
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    Quote Originally Posted by eelizah View Post
    I'm sorry you are going through this. I honestly don't know much about the warrant officer basic training but are you sure its not possible he got super busy? or even in trouble? I'm not exactly sure but any training like that could have that potential. I really think all you can do is try to communicate with him and the next time you guys have an actual conversation bring it up and ask him. If your letters were really loving and things like that maybe they overwhelmed him or made him homesick. There are just so many things that it could be that I would try to hold off until you can have a conversation with him. I would try calling him or texting him your concerns as well as sending him a letter.
    I did call him and he didn't answer and no call back/ text/ nothing. Should I just keep calling? To me, it seems like he is done to just ignore me. I've never dated military, but I've heard of this happening to some before.
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    Thank you
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    Quote Originally Posted by mymarineofficer View Post
    I did call him and he didn't answer and no call back/ text/ nothing. Should I just keep calling? To me, it seems like he is done to just ignore me. I've never dated military, but I've heard of this happening to some before.
    Military has nothing to do with it unless he told you he'd be out of communication, which he didn't. Some people are bad at dating and jerk people around.
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