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Thread: Marrying at the courthouse then having a "traditional wedding"

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    #1

    Marrying at the courthouse then having a "traditional wedding"

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    I am getting married to my Marine at the courthouse on March 25th, 2013 because we do not have time to plan a big wedding until after his upcoming deployment this fall. I was wondering what people's opinions are about still having a "traditional wedding" after being married at the courthouse? I would like to still have a traditional wedding in a church and I know my family wants me too. I posted something similar to this on theknot.com and people starting freaking out at me about it long story short i deleted my account people were not to friendly on theknot.com lol. Anyways, has anyone done it like this?
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    #2
    There's a few people who have gone about it the same way on here. We contemplated it ourselves because we were scheduled to move less than a week after our big wedding but decided against it due to my family not being completely on board with it...they paid for the majority of our wedding and I wasn't going to courthouse it without their complete approval.

    You'll likely get a lot of opinions on this...both for and against it. My opinion? Do what you feel is right for you and your husband. Weigh the pros and cons of both...discuss it with both of your families (if that's important to you).

    Good luck with what ever you decide!
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    #3
    I've never quite understood why people get upset about it. Is it something I would do? Idk...I've never had a reason to think about it to be honest. Maybe someday I will find myself in a situation that calls for it To me, a wedding is more of a celebration and a public declaration of your commitment to your spouse. And for many it has religious significance about sealing your union before God. Therefore, if you still want to have that celebration, even after you have filed the paperwork- for lack of a better phrase- I don't see the problem. I can't ever see myself not celebrating my marriage with my family and friends, so I would probably consider doing two 'weddings' if I was forced to have the legal stuff done before for whatever reason.

    So do whatever works best for you. If you still feel the need to celebrate in that way with your friends and family after go ahead.

    ETA: I want to add that I 100% agree that you should not hide it. Let people know that you're already legally married. For me, that would not make a difference in attending the celebration or how I feel about it. I guess for other people it may be a problem. I honestly don't understand why but that is something to consider.
    Last edited by GingerGirl15; 03-13-2013 at 10:18 PM.
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    Thanks for the advice! My fiancé basically said its all up to me he wants to do whatever I want to do. We're definitely getting married in the courthouse for now, I thought about just doing a vow renewal or at least calling it that and doing it on our 5 year anniversary or something. I feel like if we do that we wont get around to it or get busy with children, careers etc if we wait. I'll definitely see what both families say but i'm Catholic and I feel weird not having some type of church ceremony and my parents agree with me. But yeah some people get really upset about it and I dont get what the big deal is either.
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    We did it. It worked well for us. We had a court house wedding and a year later got married in a big churchwedding. It wasn't hard at all. We just had the ceremony without a license signing and were careful to word things so it wasnt to weird. Just let whoever is marrying you know right away so they can work out how they are going to do it. If you have any questions you can pm me
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    #6
    I would make sure your church will marry you when you're already legally married. I'm not Catholic like you are but my church won't let people do that.

    ETA - Not trying to be a downer. Lots of people do a church wedding later!
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    Quote Originally Posted by eelizah View Post
    We did it. It worked well for us. We had a court house wedding and a year later got married in a big churchwedding. It wasn't hard at all. We just had the ceremony without a license signing and were careful to word things so it wasnt to weird. Just let whoever is marrying you know right away so they can work out how they are going to do it. If you have any questions you can pm me
    Thanks! thats exactly what I want to do.. get married in a church in summer of 2014. People on theknot.com got so upset about it then I started thinking maybe our friends and family will also get upset.. idk...but the only thing that is gonna be weird is the dates because we are marrying in the courthouse March 25th 2013 but this time next year he will be deployed so if we wanted to do the church ceremony on the exact date we would have to wait 2 years or just do our church ceremony a different day. We would still consider March 25th our official anniversary etc. but thanks! I might have to pm you with questions
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    #8
    We did the same. Our court house date was 12-27 and our church is 2-9 lol we also go by the first. Our family wasnt upset at all and we still had a full house at the wedding.
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    #9
    Quote Originally Posted by KDSD View Post
    Thanks! thats exactly what I want to do.. get married in a church in summer of 2014. People on theknot.com got so upset about it then I started thinking maybe our friends and family will also get upset.. idk...but the only thing that is gonna be weird is the dates because we are marrying in the courthouse March 25th 2013 but this time next year he will be deployed so if we wanted to do the church ceremony on the exact date we would have to wait 2 years or just do our church ceremony a different day. We would still consider March 25th our official anniversary etc. but thanks! I might have to pm you with questions
    They have a reasonable point and you thinking of how your guests will feel is good to do. That was my parents reservation about it...but we had a destination wedding as well...so everyone traveled from all over the country.
  10. home is wherever i'm with you
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    #10
    Me and DF are going to the courthouse next month, and then having a wedding in October. I like the idea of having a day that's just the two of us, without having to worry about all the fanfare and logistics of the actual big day. We know a few other couples that have done this as well, so I really don't think its that uncommon.
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