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Thread: New to dating a Marine - advice welcome

  1. Fresh Newbie
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    #1

    New to dating a Marine - advice welcome

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    I'm dating a Marine, we've known each other/had feelings for each other for 11 years but he had moved away and joined the Marines. He's out now but he's living in a different state at the moment but we found each other again and decided we didn't want anyone else so we were going to do long distance until he could move back here. Everything has been great, he's the sweetest man I've ever known, he wants to be a father to my son, and says he's never wanted anything more than he wants a life with me. We would talk all the time, about everything. The last few days he has barely said a word to me, just out of nowhere. He broke the speakers on his phone when he dropped it in the sink so all we can do is text but he hardly says anything and hardly replies when I send him anything. He said there's nothing wrong when it comes to us, he just doesn't like to talk sometimes. He hasn't even said he loves me in 3 days, which is strange for him. I'm supposed to visit him next month and just a few days ago he was counting down the days, and kept saying how he wished it was sooner and now he doesn't even seem excited about that. I feel like he's pushing me away, but I'm not sure if that's it, or if this is just something that happens with Marines. He has a lot of anxiety and is hardly ever able to sleep. Any advice would be welcome if anyone has experience with this. I've been in love with this man for almost half my life, he's my one that got away, so when he came back to me it was literally a dream come true, so I want to do anything I can to be there for him.
  2. 1/2 hippie, 1/2 diva... all Jersey
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    My husband gets in moods sometimes, and I just have to go a little "hands off" and low maintenance for a little while. It's just how he processes and I have learned to respect the way he chooses to process things. I would just give him space for the rest of the week (and not the type of space where you text him and say, "well you're not talking to me so I'm just not going to talk to you"). If you NEED to text him something, just say something like, "I get that you're having a quiet week. I love you (if you say that) and I'm here." and then leave it alone. Don't say another word until he comes to you. It's super tough, but if you can do it... he'll be so grateful.

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    #3

    Thank you!

    I did talk to him a little last night, and told him that I felt that he had been talking to me differently but that I wasn't sure if it was just because we can't talk on the phone and that I'm just not used to only being able to text him and hardly hearing from him and that I was worried. He Said it was all in my head and that he is just depressed and that there was nothing to worry about. He didn't say much else and I haven't heard a single word from him today, but I feel better after reading your comment and him telling me there was nothing to worry about. when your husband gets that way does it usually last very long? and does he go back to his usual loving self after?
  4. 1/2 hippie, 1/2 diva... all Jersey
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    #4
    Quote Originally Posted by chelsear21113 View Post
    I did talk to him a little last night, and told him that I felt that he had been talking to me differently but that I wasn't sure if it was just because we can't talk on the phone and that I'm just not used to only being able to text him and hardly hearing from him and that I was worried. He Said it was all in my head and that he is just depressed and that there was nothing to worry about. He didn't say much else and I haven't heard a single word from him today, but I feel better after reading your comment and him telling me there was nothing to worry about. when your husband gets that way does it usually last very long? and does he go back to his usual loving self after?
    Um, it really depends on what's going on... and we live together, so its probably different because to a certain extent we have to interact. If we were apart, I would probably leave him alone the rest of the week/weekend and see if he reached out to me. DH is someone who def retreats into himself when he's stressed, or otherwise occupied (deployment/schools, training, etc...) so over time I've just gotten used to the idea that I will not hear from him during those times. When I've been able to, I would still send a "good night, sweet dreams" text on my way to bed each evening to let him know I was thinking about him (although that's just part of our routine, nothing out of the ordinary). And then the rest of the time, you just respect his space.

    www.SnarkyFit.com

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