Military Significant Others and Spouse Support - MilitarySOS.com
Page 1 of 7 1234 ... LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 68

Thread: What's the secret?

  1. Bringing wizard awareness to muggles everywhere
    Malfoy's Avatar
    Malfoy is offline
    Bringing wizard awareness to muggles everywhere
    Join Date
    Aug 2011
    Location
    Virginia Beach, VA
    Posts
    7,644
    Blog Entries
    1
    #1

    Whatever What's the secret?

    Advertisements
    So, I am trying online dating again. Paid for a stupid 6 month subscription to a site and I regretted it the moment I clicked on the dang done deal button. But, there you have it. Nothing has ever come from online dating for me. I'll find a few guys who seem to appear normal, have a few similar interests, are maybe somewhat nearby..(like a neighboring state......) and occasionally I'll get a reply message. And then, I reply and nothing. That's it.

    What's the trick? For those that have met online, how did you make it work? I just feel like online dating is as much as a dead end for me as in-person dating. I'm really not all that picky.


    /tangent
    My one thing though is as I'm getting older, a larger portion of my dating pool often have children. Divorce I can manage. It happens. But having kids is like an immediate "NOPE" to me... I wonder if that's a bad thing to dismiss. I mean, I know there are a ton of super cute kids and I get along with them and I definitely want kids myself but, I just don't know about this type of situation. I've had one boyfriend ever, and it lasted 4 months. I just feel like if someone was to date me, having been married, divorced and have kids, they are in SUCH a different place in life than me. I would feel so immature and inadequate for such a thing. If there was baby mama drama, I don't know how to deal with that either. I still don't know how to act or what to do in relationships let alone manage THAT and kids. I'd want to make a relationship with the guy work, not try and add in all these other relationships as well.

    Is that selfish? I don't know! I'm sure a lot of people would say "If it was the right guy, it wouldn't matter" but it just seems so stressful to me.

    So, how do I handle that when looking for guys (in person and) online? I've just been skipping profiles that mention kids.......

    There is one guy right now who is like.. flirting with me, sending me a message, trying the chat feature to talk with me, but he's 31 with 4 kids!! FOUR! That's like a huge no to me. FOUR?! I mean, good on him, that's awesome, but.... can't handle it.

    K, so... give me your tips!!
  2. Waiting Around
    Mac N Cheese's Avatar
    Mac N Cheese is offline
    Waiting Around
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Location
    Wisconsin
    Posts
    26,419
    Blog Entries
    1
    #2
    I personally wouldn't date a guy with more then 1 maybe 2 kids (if I were ever to date again.) mostly because I would want us to try for one of our own one day too.
    And 4 is just too many
    ❤️❤️❤️
    Follow Rylee's progress

  3. Banned
    gunsgirl's Avatar
    gunsgirl is offline
    Banned
    Join Date
    Jul 2007
    Location
    lost
    Posts
    17,275
    #3
    I have never done the online dating thing. I am not sure I would.
    I have kids, and tho I would go on a date or 2 with a single dad, It was against my rule to be serious with a guy with kids.I chose to not have that added complication in a relationship.

    for me I found dating younger was they key. I was 32 and DH was 25 when we met. In a bar. he was getting divorced and never wanted kids of his own. perfect for me he is a great dad to my 2 and loves them very much. after 17 years together he never once tried to change his mind about having kids
  4. Bringing wizard awareness to muggles everywhere
    Malfoy's Avatar
    Malfoy is offline
    Bringing wizard awareness to muggles everywhere
    Join Date
    Aug 2011
    Location
    Virginia Beach, VA
    Posts
    7,644
    Blog Entries
    1
    #4
    Quote Originally Posted by Boobie*Feeder View Post
    I personally wouldn't date a guy with more then 1 maybe 2 kids (if I were ever to date again.) mostly because I would want us to try for one of our own one day too.
    And 4 is just too many
    Quote Originally Posted by gunsgirl View Post
    I have never done the online dating thing. I am not sure I would.
    I have kids, and tho I would go on a date or 2 with a single dad, It was against my rule to be serious with a guy with kids.I chose to not have that added complication in a relationship.

    for me I found dating younger was they key. I was 32 and DH was 25 when we met. In a bar. he was getting divorced and never wanted kids of his own. perfect for me he is a great dad to my 2 and loves them very much. after 17 years together he never once tried to change his mind about having kids
    Oh thank goodness. I was feeling a bit heartless for feeling this way. I mean, it SUCKS for them because I'm sure it makes dating more difficult, but.... no. Just can't do it.
  5. Free!
    Boneslady's Avatar
    Boneslady is offline
    Free!
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
    Location
    The Ohio tri-state area
    Posts
    5,495
    #5
    I've met a couple of nice guys off of dating sites but it's never really turned into anything. I think going in with the expectation of friends with a chance for more and messaging anyone you think is attractive and is potentially a good fit. They might respond or not but in the early parts of it quantity it probably the most important thing.
  6. Bringing wizard awareness to muggles everywhere
    Malfoy's Avatar
    Malfoy is offline
    Bringing wizard awareness to muggles everywhere
    Join Date
    Aug 2011
    Location
    Virginia Beach, VA
    Posts
    7,644
    Blog Entries
    1
    #6
    Quote Originally Posted by Boneslady View Post
    I've met a couple of nice guys off of dating sites but it's never really turned into anything. I think going in with the expectation of friends with a chance for more and messaging anyone you think is attractive and is potentially a good fit. They might respond or not but in the early parts of it quantity it probably the most important thing.
    That's my attitude about it too. And I do reach out to just about every guy I find that *MAY* have potential. But still, nothing. And given that I don't have friends here yet (yes, I know tons of MSOS ladies I haven't met yet, but we'll get there I Guess) making friends first is ok in my book. *sigh* Life.
  7. Senior Member
    bdizzle's Avatar
    bdizzle is offline
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2011
    Posts
    19,693
    #7
    I met my husband online. Originally I dismissed him because his forehead looked too large in his picture don't dismiss anyone. I gave him my Facebook only because my subscription to eharmony was about to expire and he ended up being the guy for me.


  8. Super Speshil
    SoulCupcake's Avatar
    SoulCupcake is offline
    Super Speshil
    Join Date
    Jun 2010
    Location
    The point of no return. Is that a duty station?
    Posts
    9,882
    #8
    I met DB online. Instant connection. He and I both wanted someone with children as we have children ourselves. I have three and he has two. Every guy I've ever dated I met online, and I had pretty good success with online dating.
    Pax, Aeon
  9. Senior Member
    Enthused Meerkat's Avatar
    Enthused Meerkat is offline
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2010
    Location
    Bowie, MD
    Posts
    13,250
    #9
    I met my husband on a dating website in 2009. I'm not really sure of any tips to give you because it wasn't an easy journey. You'll find (I'm sure you already have) many guys that simply want to tell you exactly what they think you want to hear to get what they want. I know you're very strong in your faith and that you won't put up with that, but just be prepared with facing those types. I went on several first dates that never turned into anything more. Sometimes I wanted it to go further, but if the feelings aren't mutual, then it's not meant to be.

    Just be completely honest on your profile and don't settle if there are deal breakers up front.
  10. Banned
    gunsgirl's Avatar
    gunsgirl is offline
    Banned
    Join Date
    Jul 2007
    Location
    lost
    Posts
    17,275
    #10
    my DS is Single 31 years of age, no kids, no ex wives, college educated, honest, reliable, smart, funny. has a great relationship with his mom, but there are no apron strings attached. Is close to his family, he enjoys going to the movies, fine dining, having fun, rarely drinks, does not do drugs, does not smoke. Is great with dogs, cats and other people's kids.

    LOL how's that for an ad? I do know he is trying the online dating thing right now, and I think he is on match.com

    girls tell him he is too nice. I tell him there is no such thing. he says nice guys finish last, I said Nice guys wait for the perfect girl.
    he is finding that to get what he needs in a relationship he is having to date older women. I think it is a catch-22 for anyone dating now-a days.
Page 1 of 7 1234 ... LastLast

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •