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Thread: Relationship/Marriage Books & Print Resources (S/O Kat's "Do you" thread)

  1. 1/2 hippie, 1/2 diva... all Jersey
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    #1

    Relationship/Marriage Books & Print Resources (S/O Kat's "Do you" thread)

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    When I was reading/participating in Katinahat's "Do you" thread, I saw some people mentioning books they'd read about marriage and relationship. I thought this might be an interesting thread to put all those "MSOS Read and Approved" Relationship/Marriage books out there for others to add to their own bookshelves or e-readers.

    I don't know if anyone has had this experience, but for every good self-help, introspective, relationship/marriage book that I find that is awesome, there are about 2 or 3 more on the shelves that seem like complete drivel. It'd be nice to have some "personal" recommendations to at least give folks a starting point.

    My starting list:

    For Women Only: What You Need to Know about the Inner Lives of Men by Shaunti Feldhahn (description from Amazon.com)
    "What’s going on in a man’s mind? From their early days, every woman has struggled to understand why males behave the way they do. Even long-married women who think they understand men have only scratched the surface. Beneath a man’s rugged exterior is an even more rugged, unmapped terrain. What bestselling author Shaunti Feldhahn’s research reveals about the inner lives of men will open women’s eyes to what the men in their life—boyfriends, brothers, husbands, and sons—are really thinking and feeling. Men want to be understood, but they’re afraid to “freak out” the women they love by confessing what is happening inside their heads. This book will guide women in how to provide the loving support that modern men want and need.

    Why I like it: TBH, I haven't even finished it yet. However, this book used an empirically supported statistical method of research/data collection to survey almost 1000 men. I learned things like "Men would rather feel respected than feel loved -- in fact, the two go hand in hand. It's also a good book for folks who don't like "psycho-babble" since its not written by a psychologist or anyone in the mental health field. Christian themes abound, however, not to the point of exclusivity.

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    5 Love Languages was a great book. It helped DH and I understand how the other expresses love. I show my love through acts of service and he shows his through words of affirmation. Once we figured that out it cleared up a lot of misunderstandings we had been having. So now we both try to show each other love through the others "language" so I try to be more verbal and he tries to do things like clean the kitchen or make me dinner and stuff like that. It was a huge eye opener for us.
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    #3
    Ive read:

    How to improve your marriage without talking about it
    How to affair proof your marriage
    How to become your spouses better half
    Love is letting go of fear

    and im about to start the 5 love languages. every time i finish a book i "loan" it to my husbands kindle and he reads it too. when hes home, we read them together.
    we kicked deployment #2's butt!

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    Quote Originally Posted by nicoleclare View Post
    Ive read:

    How to improve your marriage without talking about it
    How to affair proof your marriage
    How to become your spouses better half
    Love is letting go of fear

    and im about to start the 5 love languages. every time i finish a book i "loan" it to my husbands kindle and he reads it too. when hes home, we read them together.
    Did any of them provide helpful insights?

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    #5
    Quote Originally Posted by sweetvanity View Post
    Did any of them provide helpful insights?
    both "how to improve your marriage without talking about it" and "how to affair proof your marriage" i found helpful. they both had situations and views from both sides (mens needs/how they comprehend things broken down for women and womens needs/how they comprehend things broken down for men) and neither of them really pointed a finger at YOU are doing this wrong, you have to do THIS . it kind of helped me realize his brain works differently, and how they show love is totally different than how my brain works and how i show love. so it helped to realize how i can improve (and him as well) how we do things with eachother so we both feel secure and loved and appreciated.

    specifically they explained how women feel anxiety/fear while men feel shame. and how situations are percieved from both ends and how to difuse situations before a womans anxiety/fear snowballs into something huge, which in turn makes the man's shame snowball. its hard to explain without my kindle in front of me, i have a TON highlited in there and would be able to give specific examples of what im talking about, since i feel like all of this is just sounding jumbled lol but im at work. ill grab it when i get home tonight and give more specific details
    we kicked deployment #2's butt!

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    The Couple's Tao Te Ching: Ancient Advice for Modern Lovers: William Martin, Hank Tusinski, Hugh Prather, Gayle Prather

    I love this book. It's definitely a staple. There's a lot of ancient wisdom and advice that is very helpful. I need to read it again as it's been a little while.

    Loving What Is: Four Questions That Can Change Your Life: Byron Katie, Steven Mitchell

    This isn't strictly a marriage/relationship book. It's a self-development book meant for all aspects of life. It can truly transform a person's thinking and life. I love what I've read so far.
    Pax, Aeon
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    #7
    Quote Originally Posted by Ćon View Post
    The Couple's Tao Te Ching: Ancient Advice for Modern Lovers: William Martin, Hank Tusinski, Hugh Prather, Gayle Prather

    I love this book. It's definitely a staple. There's a lot of ancient wisdom and advice that is very helpful. I need to read it again as it's been a little while.

    Loving What Is: Four Questions That Can Change Your Life: Byron Katie, Steven Mitchell

    This isn't strictly a marriage/relationship book. It's a self-development book meant for all aspects of life. It can truly transform a person's thinking and life. I love what I've read so far.
    So I just ordered The Couples Tao Te Ching. I've never even heard of anything remotely like that! Thank you so much, Lux!

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    #8
    Quote Originally Posted by RetepDoc View Post
    5 Love Languages was a great book. It helped DH and I understand how the other expresses love. I show my love through acts of service and he shows his through words of affirmation. Once we figured that out it cleared up a lot of misunderstandings we had been having. So now we both try to show each other love through the others "language" so I try to be more verbal and he tries to do things like clean the kitchen or make me dinner and stuff like that. It was a huge eye opener for us.


    We have that one & The Love Dare

    "Thank you so much. No matter what, nothing is possible without you behind the scenes bustin heads and takin names. Thank you again. Everything you have done for me means a lot and nothing has gone unnoticed. I love you so much and thank you for saying 'I do.'"
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    #9
    I think I'll definitely look into reading some of these... and see if I can talk DH into reading a couple of them too.
  10. 1/2 hippie, 1/2 diva... all Jersey
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    I haven't had a chance to read this one yet, but its one that is apparently quite popular among Chaplains (I've heard it recommended by several as one of the "go to" reads). I bought it, and I'm sure I'll start it soon. I wanted to see what some of my future clients might be reading, as encouraged by their Chaplains.

    The DNA of Relationships for Couples by Dr. Smalley & Dr. Paul

    Description from Amazon.com
    This book shows readers who are struggling in their marriage the steps to take to strengthen and rebuild their marriage relationship. The practical solutions are built on the basic steps that are explained in The DNA of Relationships. Smalley uses fictional couples (based on real client experience) who are grappling with real-life problems ranging from work and family priority balance issues to extramarital affairs. Through the telling of the stories of real couples going through the step-by-step counseling process, the book provides a tool to help both partners identify destructive relationship habits and explains how to begin the rebuilding process.





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