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Thread: not sure how to title this one

  1. Regular Member
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    #1

    not sure how to title this one

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    My bf and I have a relatively new relationship (5.5 months) and tonite I wasn't able to go over and see him so we were texting back and forth and he said goodnight baby, that he was tired and going to bed. I always joke around sexually with him, it's just how I am, so I asked if he was going to jerk off. He asked me why I always ask that and asked if I could please not talk about it anymore because he see's masturbating as a private thing and it makes him uncomfortable about it when I ask.

    I was like... I find it confusing because we talk about porn and we have sex really regularly and everything is good. He has even touched himself a bit in front of me but has never full on JO'd.

    Is it weird he feels this way? Am I wrong to feel that if we are going to be in a relationship, we should be able to talk about anything?

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    #2
    It's not weird at all. Everyone has different levels of comfort, and masturbation IS a private thing for a lot of people. I'm not sure why you feel entitled to know whether or not he plans to beat off.
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    #3
    I guess it's not that I feel I need to know when he is going to JO, but rather that I feel we should be able to discuss most anything.

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  4. AKA: Jerseyatheart86
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    #4
    No, I don't think it's weird at all. For some guys, they just don't like to talk about it even though they enjoy sex. Everyone is different and if he asked you to not bring it up again, I would respect that statement and not bring it up again. That's just my 2 cents.


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    #5
    I guess she was teasing him and wondering if he said he was going to it meant he was turned on.

    If he has suddenly said he thinks its a private matter than I wouldn't bother him about it unless he initiated that action.

    Its normal.
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    #6
    I guess she was teasing him and wondering if he said he was going to it meant he was turned on.

    If he has suddenly said he thinks its a private matter than I wouldn't bother him about it unless he initiated that action.

    Its normal.
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    #7
    Thanks girls, I guess I am over thinking this!

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    #8
    Quote Originally Posted by Vodka View Post
    I guess it's not that I feel I need to know when he is going to JO, but rather that I feel we should be able to discuss most anything.
    But some people aren't like that. You can't force him to be open about things he's uncomfortable talking about. And I mean its just masturbation he doesn't want to talk about, right? That's pretty trivial IMO, I'd be concerned if he wasn't comfortable talking to you about serious issues or his feelings or something but let him have his privacy here. I wouldn't bring it up again.
  9. Quis custodiet ipsos custodes?
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    #9
    I can see what you mean about wanting to be able to talk about anything, but at the same time it's important to have respect for his personal boundaries too. Personally I've always believed that everyone deserves to have some things that are still private, even if they are in a relationship. Especially for something sexual that he's just not comfortable with, I don't think it'd be right to push him on it. There's a difference between private and secret, kwim?
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    #10
    Good points. He is quite open with me about many other things, so I think I'll let this one drop.

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