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Thread: New to navy girlfriend life.. just a couple thoughts.

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    #1

    New to navy girlfriend life.. just a couple thoughts.

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    So my sailor and I have been together for just about 2 years. I want to spend a long time with him. He recently left for boot camp and then will have a school right after, but he will be staying in great lakes for that I believe. He's going to be a machinist mate, as far as I know. His father wants him to check out the submarine job. So saying he's a machinist mate.. that'll mean majority of the time he'll be on a boat, correct? Thinking of that I don't know how a marriage would work if I were to stay at the base or an apartment we had, you know opposed to have his job being nearby where he could come home to me. I suppose I wouldn't mind being married and living here around family, until he's all done. The major "but" in this situation is that he wants to see if we can make it through the boot camp, and the 4 years he'll be active, before we make a decision like that. He also wants me to be doing something with my life, other than working part time at a retail store, so our future is the best it can be if we were to stay together. Which I completely understand and so I am going to be looking into schooling soon. I guess my problem is I would just like to have him as my fiance and/or husband as soon as possible, rather than later.. is that so wrong?
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    It's not wrong but I think his idea is safe. You already said that you're not sure how a marriage works with an SO's life on a ship... Marriage is a huge commitment & the military changes people a lot. You already seem unsure so I think it'd be best for the both of you to not rush into it.

    "Thank you so much. No matter what, nothing is possible without you behind the scenes bustin heads and takin names. Thank you again. Everything you have done for me means a lot and nothing has gone unnoticed. I love you so much and thank you for saying 'I do.'"
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    #3
    Quote Originally Posted by Rissa*Rawr View Post
    It's not wrong but I think his idea is safe. You already said that you're not sure how a marriage works with an SO's life on a ship... Marriage is a huge commitment & the military changes people a lot. You already seem unsure so I think it'd be best for the both of you to not rush into it.
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    #4
    Quote Originally Posted by Rissa*Rawr View Post
    It's not wrong but I think his idea is safe. You already said that you're not sure how a marriage works with an SO's life on a ship... Marriage is a huge commitment & the military changes people a lot. You already seem unsure so I think it'd be best for the both of you to not rush into it.
    I agree.
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    #5
    I agree with Rissa. Waiting sounds like a good idea. I understand the urge to want to be with him right now but it's not something you should rush into if you're not 100% sure.
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    thanks all. i'm sure i want to do it.. i guess just not while he's on a ship for 6 months at a time.. i really appreciate the comments and support. this is all SO new to me.
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    #7
    Quote Originally Posted by ChristinaLynne View Post
    thanks all. i'm sure i want to do it.. i guess just not while he's on a ship for 6 months at a time.. i really appreciate the comments and support. this is all SO new to me.
    No one WANTS their SO to be gone for long periods of time but when you're committed & want to be in said relationship, you make it work. And hundreds of people do. I think you have these terrible thoughts of how military life will be in your mind but I can assure you, it's not half as bad as you'll set up to make it seem.

    "Thank you so much. No matter what, nothing is possible without you behind the scenes bustin heads and takin names. Thank you again. Everything you have done for me means a lot and nothing has gone unnoticed. I love you so much and thank you for saying 'I do.'"
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    #8
    Quote Originally Posted by ChristinaLynne View Post
    thanks all. i'm sure i want to do it.. i guess just not while he's on a ship for 6 months at a time.. i really appreciate the comments and support. this is all SO new to me.
    I can understand that. I was scared of what military life meant for my DB and I. Right now we're just taking things one step at a time. Some days I feel like this is nbd and I can do it and other days its like why did I sign up for this? But I don't want to not be with him, even if this is the alternative. I'm hoping it stays that way and we take things to the next step after we get through this first major separation. Feel free to PM anytime.
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    #9
    Personally, I agree with Rissa. You don't want to jump into this if you aren't sure how you will handle it. It is a lot to take on. My DH is in the submarine force and I can say it adds certain limitations that are difficult at best sometimes (extremely limited communication, very classified, etc). He will spend a lot of time on the boat but it isn't THAT bad. He will go to boot camp, then sub school then A school which all takes like a year-year 1/2 and in which time you could get comfortable with the idea of being separated and work your way slowly into the military life.

    Also, when thinking about his time at sea, not every time he goes out will it be for 6 months. They do underways outside of deployments that range from 2 days to 2 months so try not to get too caught up in the "omg 6 months, all the time" way of thinking.
    Is he only doing 4 years or is he thinking of more if he likes it?


    Feel free to PM if you need



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    #10
    Quote Originally Posted by SailorsBunny View Post
    Personally, I agree with Rissa. You don't want to jump into this if you aren't sure how you will handle it. It is a lot to take on. My DH is in the submarine force and I can say it adds certain limitations that are difficult at best sometimes (extremely limited communication, very classified, etc). He will spend a lot of time on the boat but it isn't THAT bad. He will go to boot camp, then sub school then A school which all takes like a year-year 1/2 and in which time you could get comfortable with the idea of being separated and work your way slowly into the military life.

    Also, when thinking about his time at sea, not every time he goes out will it be for 6 months. They do underways outside of deployments that range from 2 days to 2 months so try not to get too caught up in the "omg 6 months, all the time" way of thinking.
    Is he only doing 4 years or is he thinking of more if he likes it?


    Feel free to PM if you need
    thanks! i know it wouldn't be all that bad because there would be some communication i would guess? unlike now where boot camp theres little. and i can visit him if that's available. he is doing the 4 years now but if he likes it then he'll do more. i'm slowly learning everything, appreciate the comment!
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