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Thread: Military separation and divorce

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    Military separation and divorce

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    Hello everyone,

    I have been married for 5 years and I am not happy at all. He pushes me around, everything I do is wrong...it's not what I want and I have been thinking lately about a divorce but I dont know where to start. I don't have a job right now but I heard he would still have to support me during a separation. I do not have money to go to court and even tho we have a joint account i cant just take it out to pay for it. I'm not after the money in the savings account...but i need support to get my life together...what steps do I have to take to get part of his BAH and BAS and how much would I get? What do I need to do to get that portion? separation papers and if so how much does it cost? i really just need some information. right now we also have 2 cars...im planing on just staying away this weekend with a friend. so I'm thinking about taking our car and he has the truck but I dont know if thats legal. PLease, i need advise (he is army)
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    #2
    Hi and welcome to the board.

    I would start by contacting your base JAG office and see what info you can get from there.





    "Don't worry about being right,
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    #3
    Quote Originally Posted by Stephanie1989 View Post
    Hello everyone,

    I have been married for 5 years and I am not happy at all. He pushes me around, everything I do is wrong...it's not what I want and I have been thinking lately about a divorce but I dont know where to start. I don't have a job right now but I heard he would still have to support me during a separation. I do not have money to go to court and even tho we have a joint account i cant just take it out to pay for it. I'm not after the money in the savings account...but i need support to get my life together...what steps do I have to take to get part of his BAH and BAS and how much would I get? What do I need to do to get that portion? separation papers and if so how much does it cost? i really just need some information. right now we also have 2 cars...im planing on just staying away this weekend with a friend. so I'm thinking about taking our car and he has the truck but I dont know if thats legal. PLease, i need advise (he is army)
    Welcome to MSOS.

    I'm sorry that you're going through this right now. I'm sure it's overwhelming and I hope our members can help.

    First, if by pushing you around you mean physically, I hope that you have reported him and that you are safe right now. That is first and foremost.

    As for separation and divorce. In a nutshell, you aren't separating and divorcing the military, you are separating and divorcing your husband. It's going to be a civil matter handled by the state. The base JAG/legal office may be able to provide you with some information and assistance as to what you can do and where, but only if you speak with them first. They can only speak with one party involved.

    As for the money aspect, things get tricky. You can't get any of his BAS. BAS is Basic Allowance for Sustenance and is for the military member only. While seperated, he will still get BAH with dependents and there are formulas used for how much he is suppose to provide you with. Commonly, it's the difference between married and single BAH, I have also heard of BAH 2 coming into play in these circumstances. There are others on this forum that are more familiar with how BAH works during separation, so I will let them address that. But be aware that no one can force him to give you money with out court-ordered paperwork to garnish his wages. They can talk to him, they can come down on him like a ton of bricks, they can make him miserable, but they can't, in circumstances like these, take money from him and give it to you. You will need to get a monetary support order from a judge to enforce and ensure you get money.

    If both of the vehicles are also in his name only, you may have to get a judgement to obtain ownership of one of those as well. If they are in both of your names, it won't be as difficult.

    Good luck. Remember that the most reliable and current information you're going to be able to get will be from a lawyer in your immediate area.
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    #4
    Do you have family you can go to?





    "Don't worry about being right,
    just worry about being kind."
    ~Tilly Therber
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    #5
    I also forgot to add - please check the Military OneSource website- http://www.militaryonesource.mil.

    They have a plethora of information and resources available in addition to online, phone and in person counseling available. If they don't know how to answer your questions, they know who can help you!

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