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Thread: Forgive or Not forgive? Stuck between a rock and a hard place.

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    #1

    Forgive or Not forgive? Stuck between a rock and a hard place.

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    Soo a really close friend of mine has this hectic situation with this guy in her life, i think he's generally a sweet guy, just been fucked over alot by females. To cut the story short i'll use bullet points to get through it without turning this into a novel.
    She met this guy, he was super sweet, she said he did everything that she always wanted a guy to do.
    She relates what they have towards the movies No Strings Attached and Friends with Benefits.
    They were super good together. He went over and beyond for her from what ive seen and heard that he's done. And shes extremely happy when i see them together.
    She is a good friend, but what she didnt wasnt something that i was keen on her doing, her ex bf was deployed, and they still communicated.
    One night her new guy saw messages between the two of them that he wasnt very fond of and this started a downward thing between them, but supposedly they still had really good moments.
    She ended up having to move out of her apartment, and this guy took her in, still not fully trusting her from what messages he saw between her and her ex which i told her was incredibly understandable on his part.
    After a few months they were still living together until they got in to a big fight then she ended up moving out. . but they were still in contact.
    They got alittle distant until she told me that they just agreed to start over and just see each other once a week so things arent rushed and mistrust wasnt pressured into demanding fully trust. He said that he didnt have time to get over things with seeing messages between her and her ex before she moved in.
    But recently he confronted her to say that during the time they werent really talking, he got drunk at a party and slept with someone else and he was really incredibly sorry. .
    Now she's stuck in this spot of whether or not she should forgive him. .
    Me personally, i really dont want to give her advice without hearing from others before i tell her something that ends up being the wrong thing. .
    She's like a sister and i feel sorry for her, so i feel like thats clouding my judgement of what to tell her..
    Help? Sorry if this was incredibly long.
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    #2
    I think she should forgive him. They weren't together and he had felt betrayed, so he felt free to do what he wanted.

    But can she get over it? That's something that's up to her, just like him getting over the messages to her ex was up to him.
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    #3
    They weren't together. IMO, he shouldn't even have to apologize because he didn't do anything wrong.

    "Thank you so much. No matter what, nothing is possible without you behind the scenes bustin heads and takin names. Thank you again. Everything you have done for me means a lot and nothing has gone unnoticed. I love you so much and thank you for saying 'I do.'"
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    #4
    Quote Originally Posted by Rissa*Rawr View Post
    They weren't together. IMO, he shouldn't even have to apologize because he didn't do anything wrong.
    This is what i want to say, but she's defensive saying that they were "fixing things" .....
    I kinda want to say that it levels things between them out, if she can still trust him after that, more power to her, if it makes her feel like the table's now cleared, she should just push it aside if he's willing to the same as well. . but im not sure if that seems "right"
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    #5
    Quote Originally Posted by Rissa*Rawr View Post
    They weren't together. IMO, he shouldn't even have to apologize because he didn't do anything wrong.
    This.
    proudarmygrlfrnd and PinkyLee are my WIFEYS!
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    #6
    They weren't together at the time, and it sounds like they weren't even committed to each other to begin with. IMO, she should forgive him because he didn't do anything wrong.

    But if it were me, idk if I could get over it. Full disclosure, I'm the crazy girl no guy wants to date but I wouldn't like that he slept with somebody while still kinda talking to me.
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    #7
    This is why I hate fwb type situations. You cannot cheat on a relationship you are not in.
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    #8
    Quote Originally Posted by january View Post
    They weren't together at the time, and it sounds like they weren't even committed to each other to begin with. IMO, she should forgive him because he didn't do anything wrong.

    But if it were me, idk if I could get over it. Full disclosure, I'm the crazy girl no guy wants to date but I wouldn't like that he slept with somebody while still kinda talking to me.
    Agree with all of this!
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    #9
    I'm in the theres nothing to forgive camp.

    She did something apparently innapropriate while they were together, he did something while they were "fixing things" but not really together...They can either both choose to get past the hurt they feel from it, or they can both move on apart from eachother.
  10. Come along with me, misery loves company.
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    #10
    The amount of drama they have an they're not even technically together is insane. I'd be out however I think they're both overreacting seeing as though it wasn't official. If it was they wouldn't (I assume) have done the shit they did.
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