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Thread: Online Dating

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    #1

    Online Dating

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    Ok, I am semi-tempted to try online dating. I moved to this city 3 months ago for work, and I can honestly say I haven't really met anybody that was dating material. Heck, I've even posted about some of these gems (who btw I've cut contact with). My office is tiny, I'm not a big club-goer, and I just havn't had any luck with the people I have met at parties. Oh, and someone from work called my city "the man desert". I nearly cried. It sucks not being in college anymore and not meeting a ton of people your age.

    Now, I know a lot of people have met their SOs online, but I want to hear ALL of the stories. I want to hear the good, the bad, the ugly. Shoot me straight msos. I want to hear it all before I decide to join a site.

    Alright, now give me your online dating experiences!
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    #2
    OK here is mine... Its bad.... I joined a christian dating site before me and DB met. I signed up and did all the questionnaire stuff. I specifically stated I was only interested in guys around my age 20-25 but I kept being contacted by old men. A freaking 50 year old messaged me and was like "your sexy" ewwww! I had to delete a lot of strange messages before I finally even got a decent message. I met a guy and we talked for about a month online before we went on a date. He insisted on picking me up and I wasn't relay comfortable with it but I was living at with my parents at the time so I was like ok. He was nice but his car had no a/c in the middle of a Texas summer . We went out to eat and he was so shy he couldn't even tell the hostess we needed a table for two. I end up ordering for both of us. In the middle of dinner we started talking about families and ( I am not judging) he disclosed to me that his father had recently got out of jail for armed robbery and this had been his second time in a federal prison. I know people are not there parents and you cannot judge someone for what others had done but who disclose that on a first date and then tells me I should meet the guy. We went to the movies and I was hoping he would liven up and that he was just nervous but he was shy the whole night he finally dropped me off at home. I thought "well that was a bust" but he continued to message me on FB and the dating site for the next month. I closed out the dating site profile and tried to tell him politely on FB that I just wasn't interested in dating at the moment but he continued on. I finally had to tell him I was seeing some one else to get him to leave me alone. Hopefully I just had a bad experience and someone else has had better luck on dating sites but just realize you never know who you will end up meeting on those sites and be careful.
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    I'll play. I signed up for OK cupid last year, and there were too many creepers on there. I went on 2 dates with guys from there but they were both so boring. And I spent so much time talking to one of them, writing back and forth, that by the time I met him he was a major disappointment. I decided to sign up for Match.com last year and do the 6 month guarantee. I followed all of their rules like you have to, and I also followed the rules in this book, pretty much to the T The Rules for Online Dating: Capturing the Heart of Mr. Right in Cyberspace: Ellen Fein, Sherrie Schneider: 9780743451475: Amazon.com: Books It got to be like a job, because I went out with pretty much anyone who asked. That's because obviously whatever I thought was my type wasn't working, so I'd better expand my dating pool. I was going out on 2 or 3 dates a weekend, and it was exausting. Having the same conversation over and over, and there were some dull guys. Not really any creepers since the paid thing weaves them out. But I always met them somewhere that I could get out of quickly, like coffee or fro yo. Never a meal on a first date. Then, 4 months and 14 guys into it, I went on a date with this babyfaced guy who was super sweet. I wouldn't have normally given him a second look. But he was thoughful, and a gentleman, and it turned out I really really liked him. Now I love him more than I thought possible. So I say go for it. It sucks most of the time, and there's a lot of let down, but I wouldn't trade any of it because it led me to DB.

    Hints I would give: let the guys message you, have someone take really excellent pictures of you for your profile, talk to several guys at once so that if one falls off the face of the earth or didn't turn out to be Mr. Right you aren't that bummed because there's 4 more in line. Don't agree to last minute dates, you are worth having him plan for you in advance. Feel fabulous, these guys are LUCKY to get the opportunity to try to impress you!
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    Quote Originally Posted by roxieluvs View Post
    I'll play. I signed up for OK cupid last year, and there were too many creepers on there. I went on 2 dates with guys from there but they were both so boring. And I spent so much time talking to one of them, writing back and forth, that by the time I met him he was a major disappointment. I decided to sign up for Match.com last year and do the 6 month guarantee. I followed all of their rules like you have to, and I also followed the rules in this book, pretty much to the T The Rules for Online Dating: Capturing the Heart of Mr. Right in Cyberspace: Ellen Fein, Sherrie Schneider: 9780743451475: Amazon.com: Books It got to be like a job, because I went out with pretty much anyone who asked. That's because obviously whatever I thought was my type wasn't working, so I'd better expand my dating pool. I was going out on 2 or 3 dates a weekend, and it was exausting. Having the same conversation over and over, and there were some dull guys. Not really any creepers since the paid thing weaves them out. But I always met them somewhere that I could get out of quickly, like coffee or fro yo. Never a meal on a first date. Then, 4 months and 14 guys into it, I went on a date with this babyfaced guy who was super sweet. I wouldn't have normally given him a second look. But he was thoughful, and a gentleman, and it turned out I really really liked him. Now I love him more than I thought possible. So I say go for it. It sucks most of the time, and there's a lot of let down, but I wouldn't trade any of it because it led me to DB.

    Hints I would give: let the guys message you, have someone take really excellent pictures of you for your profile, talk to several guys at once so that if one falls off the face of the earth or didn't turn out to be Mr. Right you aren't that bummed because there's 4 more in line. Don't agree to last minute dates, you are worth having him plan for you in advance. Feel fabulous, these guys are LUCKY to get the opportunity to try to impress you!
    wow thank you for this!

    See, part of the reason I am hesitant is that I spend a large portion of my day on my computer at work, then coming home and doing online dating, it would almost feel like my whole life revolved around my computer. I don't know maybe I'm just
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    Quote Originally Posted by CDNTrish View Post
    wow thank you for this!

    See, part of the reason I am hesitant is that I spend a large portion of my day on my computer at work, then coming home and doing online dating, it would almost feel like my whole life revolved around my computer. I don't know maybe I'm just
    I know how that feels. I had to separate myself from that purposely or I got obsessed with who was writing me back and what they said and did they like me etc. So I only allowed myself to long on once every 24 hours, and I'd respond to the messages that had been sitting there for longer than 24 hours. I don't want to be the girl they can just get ahold of whenever they want, and will message them back at all hours. They haven't earned that yet. So I purposely built other things into my routine so that online dating was just another thing I was doing in my awesomeness because I'm awesome. I also gave myself lots of pep talks

    ETA: the online part wasn't the job like part, it was the getting ready for and going on dates on the weekend that felt like it. Sometimes I was just tired and didn't feeeel like going to meet another stranger. I almost cancelled on DB, but I had decided to give it my best shot for 6 months. So I went. And I'm pretty glad I did.
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    I was on OKcupid for a while. I went on dates with probably around a dozen guys from there. But I definitely got hundreds of guys messaging me the time I was on there... I had to ignore most of them because it was so overwhelming. I was just really careful about who I chose to go out with. If there was something on their profile I didn't like to begin with, I didnt even bother. All in all the guys I met on there were all pretty decent and most were gentlemen, we just weren't right for each other. There were a ton of creepers though too that I had to ignore. I did meet DF on there though so that worked out well for me.

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    Quote Originally Posted by roxieluvs View Post
    I know how that feels. I had to separate myself from that purposely or I got obsessed with who was writing me back and what they said and did they like me etc. So I only allowed myself to long on once every 24 hours, and I'd respond to the messages that had been sitting there for longer than 24 hours. I don't want to be the girl they can just get ahold of whenever they want, and will message them back at all hours. They haven't earned that yet. So I purposely built other things into my routine so that online dating was just another thing I was doing in my awesomeness because I'm awesome. I also gave myself lots of pep talks

    ETA: the online part wasn't the job like part, it was the getting ready for and going on dates on the weekend that felt like it. Sometimes I was just tired and didn't feeeel like going to meet another stranger. I almost cancelled on DB, but I had decided to give it my best shot for 6 months. So I went. And I'm pretty glad I did.
    damn right you are! this is great advice, thank you. I'm still undecided, so I'll keep you posted
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    I met DH on Eharmony. He wasn't the only guy I met, I did go on a couple dates with a few guys before him. They were nice but not for me. DH and I were connected and at first I wrote him off because in the picture he used he looked like he had a big forehead But I talked to him, and then he asked to skype. (He was still stationed in Germany at this point). We skyped every day for hours until he came home and I picked him up at the airport.

    I would suggest Eharmony! It matches you on so many levels. The questionnaire takes forever but is so worth it.


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    Quote Originally Posted by pftube View Post
    I met DH on Eharmony. He wasn't the only guy I met, I did go on a couple dates with a few guys before him. They were nice but not for me. DH and I were connected and at first I wrote him off because in the picture he used he looked like he had a big forehead But I talked to him, and then he asked to skype. (He was still stationed in Germany at this point). We skyped every day for hours until he came home and I picked him up at the airport.

    I would suggest Eharmony! It matches you on so many levels. The questionnaire takes forever but is so worth it.
    that's really fun! I was debating between Match and Eharmony... gah something is still holding me back from doing it, I don't know
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    Quote Originally Posted by CDNTrish View Post
    that's really fun! I was debating between Match and Eharmony... gah something is still holding me back from doing it, I don't know
    Go for it!! Just do it. If anything it's a confidence booster when all these guys want to get to know you, even if you don't want to know them


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