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Thread: Am I the only one...

  1. MilitarySOS Jewel
    mxchick910's Avatar
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    #1

    Confused Am I the only one...

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    whose DB asks EVERY detail of when I go out?

    I just came home from a family/very close friends Halloween party. I was at the party for exactly 3 hours. I had ONE margarita. I did not wear a skanky outfit, not did I dance with other guys or dance provocatively. Yet, he insists on questioning who was all there, who did I spend the most time with, what did I do.... And I just tell him the truth, but I really feel like he doesn't believe me, no matter how many times we've been through this.

    Does anyone else go through this? Do you have any suggestions on how to get him to relax more instead of freaking out and interrogating every situation? I feel like the only thing that would make him feel better is if I never left the house, but that is completely unreasonable.

    DB: "Hey woman, listen up. I love you. Now shut up and kiss me."
    Me: "What sparked that sudden outburst?!"
    DB: "I just love you. You are beautiful. You are sweet. And you are MY baby. And I miss you."

    Nickelknack is my wifey
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  2. MilitarySOS Jewel
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    #2
    Go figure, THE MOMENT I posted this, I checked my email (that's how we're talking) and he said "Okay, good girl" like he actually believes me now. WOW. I just wish I knew a way to get that same type of 'satisfaction' for him, without having this whole 2 hour long email conversation about it and feeling like I'm being submissively accused of doing things I did not do.

    DB: "Hey woman, listen up. I love you. Now shut up and kiss me."
    Me: "What sparked that sudden outburst?!"
    DB: "I just love you. You are beautiful. You are sweet. And you are MY baby. And I miss you."

    Nickelknack is my wifey
    EverlastingLove and crimson_heart07 are my bestest buds!
  3. Banned
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    #3
    Nope, and I would't put up with that. I'd tell him flat out (when you see him in person), "you have to trust me, I love you and no one else, if you can't understand that and trust me then this will never work", if he still freaks, then I'd take another look at if you can deal with this...I wouldn't.

    The only time DH ever asks where I'm going it's because he just likes to know. . When on deployment he would ask only because he was interested in my day and it's the only way he felt connected. However he never made me feel as if he couldn't trust me.

    OP.
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    #4
    Quote Originally Posted by mxchick910 View Post
    Go figure, THE MOMENT I posted this, I checked my email (that's how we're talking) and he said "Okay, good girl" like he actually believes me now. WOW. I just wish I knew a way to get that same type of 'satisfaction' for him, without having this whole 2 hour long email conversation about it and feeling like I'm being submissively accused of doing things I did not do.
    "good girl"? I'd drop kick him in the balls for that crap.
  5. Yo siempre estaré a su princesa
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    #5
    DH did at the beginning. it was really annoyin and i told him that he need to change this.. even its hard on him. but when he keep this up i cant marry him.. cause i cant live with it...
    jealous is ok we all are from time to time.. but askin out is like im doin something wrong and i felt that he dont trust me.
    we agreed on that when we are out alone. we tell each other where we going. and what time we get back. and i called DH one time that he knows im thinkin about him.. it worked for us and he got rid of askin me out every little detail.
    it took his time but it worked
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    #6
    Nope. Sounds like a trust issue to me. I willingly let my DF know who I'm with and what the plans are if he isnt with me and he does the same. But never once has either of us grilled each other about anything like that. I trust him and he trusts me.

    Quote Originally Posted by MamaStrong View Post
    "good girl"? I'd drop kick him in the balls for that crap.
    You and me both. That would just piss me off...
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    #7
    Quote Originally Posted by MamaStrong View Post
    Nope, and I would't put up with that. I'd tell him flat out (when you see him in person), "you have to trust me, I love you and no one else, if you can't understand that and trust me then this will never work", if he still freaks, then I'd take another look at if you can deal with this...I wouldn't.

    The only time DH ever asks where I'm going it's because he just likes to know. . When on deployment he would ask only because he was interested in my day and it's the only way he felt connected. However he never made me feel as if he couldn't trust me.

    OP.


    DB doesn't ask anything of me. I tell him things because I want him to know I will tell him what I drank, what I wore and who I danced with, NOT because he doesn't trust me, but because he trusts me. Part of our trust is just being open with each other. I don't mind giving him details about my outtings just as he doesn't mind telling me. The way your DB demands things from you would cause me to worry You NEED to have trust for a relationship to work out IMO
    Double Ring Proposal 10/5/2011 made Augusta my MSOS wifey
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  8. MilitarySOS Jewel
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    #8
    The only reason dh would ask what I did while I was out is if he was truly interested. Oh and the "good girl" would so not fly with me!
  9. missing my sanity
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    #9
    Quote Originally Posted by MamaStrong View Post
    Nope, and I would't put up with that. I'd tell him flat out (when you see him in person), "you have to trust me, I love you and no one else, if you can't understand that and trust me then this will never work", if he still freaks, then I'd take another look at if you can deal with this...I wouldn't.
    The only time DH ever asks where I'm going it's because he just likes to know. . When on deployment he would ask only because he was interested in my day and it's the only way he felt connected. However he never made me feel as if he couldn't trust me.

    OP.


    It sounds a bit over-controlling to me and that is not a healthy relationship.

    .
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    #10
    nope and I would not put up with it-

    he should not ask who you were with, what you did, who did you talk to ect.

    I know I say it alot- but this is actually a potential red flag for abuse.
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