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Thread: Odd weekend... it's a bit long

  1. MilitarySOS Jewel
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    #1

    Help Odd weekend... it's a bit long

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    I'm so confused.... I should have figured when my cousin said he had a friend that I should run My cousin is in the army. After exDB I had yet again swore off another military relationship. Which is uber dramatic since in my 29 years I've had a total of two they just so happened to be back to back, and one was with someone from high school.

    Anyhow, my plan didn't last for long. I met this new amazing guy.
    He's super sweet and so adorable geeky, which I adore. Downside he recently came home from his 3rd deployment to Iraq. We started seeing each other and at first I wasn't really feeling it, but then something clicked he opened up and we were great. We are very different, he's a complete introvert I'm the total opposite, but we got over that hump.

    We were moving about a new relationship when he freaked out. One night he was telling me that he saw us being together, how amazing the chemistry was, making plans for months out, and opening up to me. Then he ended things saying it wasn't there. Hours after he ended things he sent me a text telling me how upset he was over everything. I gave it a couple days and sent him a text and he came back with how awful he felt and how he didn't want me out of his life. So we decided to focus on being friends. Fast forward to the beginning of this week he called me every night at the beginning of the week and then I called him this Saturday asking if he wanted to get dinner. He was all happy to hear from me and said he would call me later, he did and he said he didn't want to go out. I guess at that point I was suppose to say something other then ok, well have a great rest of your night and weekend. I foolishly assumed since we are working on being friends he wasn't expecting me to say I'll drive 2 hours and we can stay in for the night. He got all snippy told me to have a good weekend and hung up.... Color me confused! I sent him a text today joking around about football and he said nothing. It appears I'm in the dog house and I'm not sure how to fix it, or if it's something I should be focused on fixing. Should I just move forward?

    I thought I was giving him the space he required. I keep trying to remind myself that we started dating less then a month after he came home and he's still getting use to things, but I'm not sure if I'm just saying that to myself to excuse things.

    I know I'm offering myself up here, but I really appreciate your feedback. Normally I wouldn't focus this much after such a short amount of time, but this is the first guy who has ever made me nervous. In such a short amount of time he has pushed me to push myself. There is just something about him that has me intrigued. Who knows maybe I just like a challenge...
    C8lynsarah is my wifey. She keeps me when life gets bumpy!

    "I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself: "If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I'm doing today?" And whenever the answer has been "NO" for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something....almost everything - all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure - these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose."
  2. Livin~Lovin~Laughin
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    #2
    Wow...uhmmm he sounds a bit confused. I couldn't handle that. I'd be like call me when you decide which personality you want to use and we'll go from there.





    "Don't worry about being right,
    just worry about being kind."
    ~Tilly Therber
  3. Banned
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    #3
    He sounds like a little baby. I wouldn't touch it to be honest.
  4. MilitarySOS Jewel
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    #4
    Quote Originally Posted by Solstice View Post
    Wow...uhmmm he sounds a bit confused. I couldn't handle that. I'd be like call me when you decide which personality you want to use and we'll go from there.
    Thank you! I kept thinking that's the direction to head, but then I think am I being too hard on him.

    Quote Originally Posted by MamaStrong View Post
    He sounds like a little baby. I wouldn't touch it to be honest.
    C8lynsarah is my wifey. She keeps me when life gets bumpy!

    "I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself: "If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I'm doing today?" And whenever the answer has been "NO" for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something....almost everything - all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure - these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose."
  5. Livin~Lovin~Laughin
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    #5
    Personally I would just tell him that it seems like he has a lot going on and you want to give him the space to deal with it. I would tell him that you really like him and would love to continue to spend time with him and get to know him better but maybe this isn't the right time for him. Tell him to call you when he feels like he's all settled and back in to normal routine and can hang out with you.





    "Don't worry about being right,
    just worry about being kind."
    ~Tilly Therber
  6. I stand on golden sands and watch as the ships go by
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    #6
    Umm well he just came back from his third deployment, I dunno if I would want to rush into a relationship this soon, and seeing how he's acting...well I would just say take it one day at a time, and try not to get your hopes up KWIM? Make sure this relationship is really what you both want.
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  7. MilitarySOS Jewel
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    #7
    Quote Originally Posted by Solstice View Post
    Personally I would just tell him that it seems like he has a lot going on and you want to give him the space to deal with it. I would tell him that you really like him and would love to continue to spend time with him and get to know him better but maybe this isn't the right time for him. Tell him to call you when he feels like he's all settled and back in to normal routine and can hang out with you.
    Thank you! I know you're right. I just needed to hear it from someone outside of things.

    Quote Originally Posted by FunnyLove View Post
    Umm well he just came back from his third deployment, I dunno if I would want to rush into a relationship this soon, and seeing how he's acting...well I would just say take it one day at a time, and try not to get your hopes up KWIM? Make sure this relationship is really what you both want.
    Oddly enough, the rush was all him. I'm good with just sticking with friendship. I like being around him, but truth be told I'm still trying to learn how to trust again.

    C8lynsarah is my wifey. She keeps me when life gets bumpy!

    "I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself: "If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I'm doing today?" And whenever the answer has been "NO" for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something....almost everything - all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure - these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose."
  8. Livin~Lovin~Laughin
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    #8
    I hope it works out. If he's into you he will make it happen.





    "Don't worry about being right,
    just worry about being kind."
    ~Tilly Therber
  9. Ambitiously Blonde
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    #9
    I definitely agree with Solstice. He needs to figure out the things HE wants before he continues to change his mind and gets you all mixed up with feelings and whatnot. Keep giving him space and do things for YOU.
  10. MilitarySOS Jewel
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    #10
    Quote Originally Posted by Solstice View Post
    I hope it works out. If he's into you he will make it happen.
    Quote Originally Posted by Ambzie View Post
    I definitely agree with Solstice. He needs to figure out the things HE wants before he continues to change his mind and gets you all mixed up with feelings and whatnot. Keep giving him space and do things for YOU.

    Thank you, ladies! I know that's the right direction to go, I just need to hear it.
    C8lynsarah is my wifey. She keeps me when life gets bumpy!

    "I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself: "If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I'm doing today?" And whenever the answer has been "NO" for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something....almost everything - all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure - these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose."
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